Taryn’s Last Shot

McFadden’s is, without question (and if I have said this before I apologize), one of the most unique venues in this city… Why is this? You never know quite what to expect… You never what might happen within any given minute… This is what draws you in, makes you walk from campus or the South Gateway garage in the freezing cold… And this is what makes you not want to leave… You don’t want to miss what happens next… You don’t want to be the one to hear the second hand story of the fight or the drama or the favorite bartenders final evening…

When this night started, it looked as though five minutes could be a useless stay… I thought last night was lazy… This night began with a dozen or so coffee cloches, circles of a half dozen friends talking and enjoying their happy hours, nut nothing else… No vibe, no energy… I assumed everyone was done with finals and here everyone was acting as though they had three tomorrow… An hour into the night, I was thinking of bailing for Sugar Bar (hey, free alcohol is free alcohol)… Then it happened…

I was checking my cell and someone approached me, someone who I had never met before (not unusual, I am Gossip Cbus)… He asked me, “Are you here for a happy hour with anyone?”

I said no… He then explained the happy hour process to me (which I found helpful, because if you read this blog, you know I’ve never been to McFadden’s before) and told me that I should go to the promotions person (Amy), tell her I was with him and then he would be one person closer to scoring a gift certificate… Now, I’ve been to McFadden’s a dozen times since football season started… But I’ve never had someone try to recruit me for a happy hour… Yes, I know, I said it… free alcohol is free alcohol and a gift certificate to McFadden’s would be well worth it… But, seriously, recruiting for happy hour?

About twenty minutes later, Woody (chief of security and a great person) and entourage entered for Woody’s birthday celebration… This turned the night from semi-interesting to officially interesting… The drinks started flowing, the energy increased, and finally, two hours into the night, McFadden’s was McFadden’s… As the night improved, a rumor started making it’s the way through the air… a rumor which eventually made it’s way to me and I was able to confirm… I’ll have the breaking news soon….

Several random conversations later, I run into Tad, another bouncer at McFadden’s and one of their very best people… After about four minutes of talk, a girl, I cannot use the word bunny as she wasn’t and I’d have to retire the word if I did use it for her, approached Tad… The chunky, drunken, leopard print wearing mess puts her arms around Tad and says “You look like you need a girl.” (I’m sure Tad did, but girl and wildebeest are two entirely different things)… There was a brief exchange, the girl apparently didn’t like the tone of the conversation and she split… At this point Tad gave me a look like, that one was entirely to drunk…

Imagine my surprise when twenty minutes later, the girl, crouched down first in a booth and then on a table, has to literally be carried out by two people… I was shocked (sarcasm duly noted)… The leopard disaster was followed five minutes later by another girl, carried out the door by a bouncer… People, if you cant handle your alcohol, don’t get drunk with people, and get drunk alone… Stay home, so I’m not forced (believe me its my pleasure) to mock you…

Amidst the overly intoxicated non-bunnies, Woody hit the bar to buy shots… Let me repeat that, Woody (who I must again say happy birthday to) hit the bar to buy shots… I am told we will have pictures tomorrow… After only a few moments, Woody was replaced (and though I like Woody, I must at this point say THANK GOD) by bunnies… A dozen bunnies, smiling, grinding, and shaking their asses… It was the moment everyone had been waiting for and it was summarized perfectly by Tad, “I love this job,” he says (he wasn’t even working tonight!).

As the dozen bunnies rocked the bar, I have to say that the two most impressive were the Lucky Charms… I know I haven’t mentioned either Sytease or Emily before, but they are outstanding… They are gorgeous, the work hard, and I know my opinion of their dancing was limited to what I saw on the bar, but I was impressed….

Speaking of random acts on the bar… Lester, who had been calling for graduating seniors all night, finally abandoned that call in a most unusual way… He took McFadden’s country… (No, I’m not kidding)… Garth Brooks, Dueling Banjos, Big and Rich and the song that stole the show… The Devil Went Down to Georgia (Charlie Daniels Band), complete with Paul, Jackson, Lester, and a friend on the bar playing (and I use that word loosely) what were supposed to be instruments (in reality, whatever was laying around behind the bar that they could get their hands on)… They posed, they acted… It was easily the most bizarre and entertaining moment of the evening…

The most poignant moment of the evening? In one word… Taryn… When I arrived tonight, I found out that this was her last night… (Unthinkable… These superstars actually move into our world and have real jobs?). On her last night, Taryn came dressed to remember, red Santa hat, red top, and a sash that read retired… As I watched her walk the bar, only moments before I left, shaking, buying free shots, I couldn’t help but think of all those moments and when she seemingly had customers eating (or drinking( out of the palm of her hand…

I left before close, but I can only imagine, as she counts out her tips and walks to her car for the last time tonight, what it must be like for her and what it will be like for the rest of us without her… Taryn, we will miss you… When you were good, you were the best we could watch… You were a superstar…