Saturday, April 11, 2009
Have A Very Gossip Easter
Columbus, I’m signing off so I can enjoy my favorite holiday (and if you’ve been reading, you know why it’s my favorite holiday)… I will twitter live from Lodge Bar’s Beta Pong Tournament (Saturday) and return next week with announcements about Blue Jackets playoff coverage, Clippers Huntington Bank ballpark coverage, the Polaris Appraisal, and a new addition to the website… Until then, you know you love me…
Bunnies Balance Fashion Failure
Variety is imperative… I’ve never understood those people who enjoy only one beer… only one shot… only one kind of people… only one type of venue… In my opinion, only one circumstance permits perpetual repetition… marriage.
Upon my arrival at Sugar Bar, the energy was evident… The crowd, as per usual, was late arriving… But, one could sense an atmosphere… Tonight would not wallow with the pierced, seedy, tattooed societal rejects that were present two nights earlier… Tonight would epitomize what this city expects when it enters Sugar Bar…
And what I expect (and I know I’m not speaking for myself here) are bunnies… Clutches of bunnies… Collections of bunnies… Bunnies in the upper mezzanine… Bunnies on the dance floor… Bunnies everywhere… On this evening, the bunnies were crawling from the moment I arrived… And the variety was spectacular…
From the bleach blonde bunny (who if the lights went out, you could still spot… I swear that hair would glow in the dark) to the bunny with the perfect skirt… From Park Street Bunny Mia, who sat cozy at a corner table to the blonde, Sugar Bar dance bunny, who literally had a folded up twenty visible on her camouflage… Every potential craving and obsession was addressable…
Their fashion was mostly flawless… Their mesmerizing array of tops blended perfectly with their skirts and jeans… It’s not like one is not accustomed to bunnies at Sugar Bar (on most nights, it might as well be renamed Sugar Bunny)… Still… When one can eye the dance floor and without effort, view a half dozen exquisite treasures… This is a perfect evening…
Adding to the perfection was DJ Samurai, whose precision was a delight to hear and observe… Now, I had seen Samurai work previously… However, until one affords his skill complete attention (and I only afforded it partial attention, thank you bunnies), one cannot appreciate the depth of his talent… Blending “All Night Long” and “Public Service Announcement” (and this is merely one example, I could name a half dozen) was enough to convince me… Samurai is a superstar…
Unfortunately, he is was the only one on Sugar Bar’s stage this evening… Approximately 12:30, the Red Planet Fashion Show commenced… Within two minutes, I was praying it would conclude… The collection was a complete calamity… Whatever the designer was drinking when he sketched and executed this mess… I want a triple…
The women’s collection was vastly superior to the men’s… Unfortunately, it included only a pair of superstars… One of those, I must discuss… A gorgeous gray sweater and jeans… They were casual, yet versatile, form fitting and flattering and the model who wore the ensemble was the prize bunny of the evening… Perfect structure, perfect hair, and a face, which any artist could not have replicated…
No artist would want to replicate the men’s collection… I could spend the entire column scorching it (but I don’t have that kind of time)… The second piece of the collection… A shirt which read “I Make Great Babies”… Is there a bunny in this city that would not see that shirt and fall to the floor laughing at the loser wearing it? Is there a male in this city who would actually purchase it? This shirt alone, which should be incinerated promptly, ruined the collection…
But, the endeavor got worse… Every male model insisted on removing their shirt… Were they attending a fashion show or a strip club audition (I thought those were Wednesday)… And once the shirts were removed, the belt buckles were revealed… Now, I know a lot of males that wear a belt… But, none that wear glittering, gigantic belt buckles… What was the designer’s inspiration for this store of stupidity… President George W. Akon?
As putrid (and I mean putrid) as the Red Planet Disaster was, the night emphasized why there is seldom a regrettable evening at Sugar Bar… Bunnies and variety are the cornerstones of this city… They are why everyone (except for maybe the bunnies themselves) litters Park Street each evening…
Upon my arrival at Sugar Bar, the energy was evident… The crowd, as per usual, was late arriving… But, one could sense an atmosphere… Tonight would not wallow with the pierced, seedy, tattooed societal rejects that were present two nights earlier… Tonight would epitomize what this city expects when it enters Sugar Bar…
And what I expect (and I know I’m not speaking for myself here) are bunnies… Clutches of bunnies… Collections of bunnies… Bunnies in the upper mezzanine… Bunnies on the dance floor… Bunnies everywhere… On this evening, the bunnies were crawling from the moment I arrived… And the variety was spectacular…
From the bleach blonde bunny (who if the lights went out, you could still spot… I swear that hair would glow in the dark) to the bunny with the perfect skirt… From Park Street Bunny Mia, who sat cozy at a corner table to the blonde, Sugar Bar dance bunny, who literally had a folded up twenty visible on her camouflage… Every potential craving and obsession was addressable…
Their fashion was mostly flawless… Their mesmerizing array of tops blended perfectly with their skirts and jeans… It’s not like one is not accustomed to bunnies at Sugar Bar (on most nights, it might as well be renamed Sugar Bunny)… Still… When one can eye the dance floor and without effort, view a half dozen exquisite treasures… This is a perfect evening…
Adding to the perfection was DJ Samurai, whose precision was a delight to hear and observe… Now, I had seen Samurai work previously… However, until one affords his skill complete attention (and I only afforded it partial attention, thank you bunnies), one cannot appreciate the depth of his talent… Blending “All Night Long” and “Public Service Announcement” (and this is merely one example, I could name a half dozen) was enough to convince me… Samurai is a superstar…
Unfortunately, he is was the only one on Sugar Bar’s stage this evening… Approximately 12:30, the Red Planet Fashion Show commenced… Within two minutes, I was praying it would conclude… The collection was a complete calamity… Whatever the designer was drinking when he sketched and executed this mess… I want a triple…
The women’s collection was vastly superior to the men’s… Unfortunately, it included only a pair of superstars… One of those, I must discuss… A gorgeous gray sweater and jeans… They were casual, yet versatile, form fitting and flattering and the model who wore the ensemble was the prize bunny of the evening… Perfect structure, perfect hair, and a face, which any artist could not have replicated…
No artist would want to replicate the men’s collection… I could spend the entire column scorching it (but I don’t have that kind of time)… The second piece of the collection… A shirt which read “I Make Great Babies”… Is there a bunny in this city that would not see that shirt and fall to the floor laughing at the loser wearing it? Is there a male in this city who would actually purchase it? This shirt alone, which should be incinerated promptly, ruined the collection…
But, the endeavor got worse… Every male model insisted on removing their shirt… Were they attending a fashion show or a strip club audition (I thought those were Wednesday)… And once the shirts were removed, the belt buckles were revealed… Now, I know a lot of males that wear a belt… But, none that wear glittering, gigantic belt buckles… What was the designer’s inspiration for this store of stupidity… President George W. Akon?
As putrid (and I mean putrid) as the Red Planet Disaster was, the night emphasized why there is seldom a regrettable evening at Sugar Bar… Bunnies and variety are the cornerstones of this city… They are why everyone (except for maybe the bunnies themselves) litters Park Street each evening…
Friday, April 10, 2009
INVITE: Beta Pong Tournament
INVITE: Sugar Bar Rehab
Commencement: 10:00Venue: Sugar Bar (525 Park Street)
VIP Access: Text (406-3072)
Las Vegas Rehab Free Passes
Mezzanine Drinks (Available 10:30 – 11:30 p.m.)
$1 Top Shelf Drinks
Appearances
DJ Shift
Number Fifty-Nine Leaves Victim Critical
10 TV: An apartment manager was in critical condition Friday after she was shot while trying to chase down a group of men who tried to break into an apartment, police said. The shooting occurred at about noon near the Dayspring Church, located near Shannon and Gender roads...The incident started at The Cove apartment complex, located about half-mile away.
According to police, someone told the apartment manager that three men were trying to break into one of the apartment units. The manager got inside her car and followed the men in hopes of writing down their vehicle's license plate number… The men fled the apartment, crashing into a garage along the way. As both the vehicles traveled down Shannon Road past Dayspring Church, gunfire rang out. A witness, who asked not to be identified, said she and her daughter hit the ground after hearing two gunshots.
The wounded woman got out of her car and a passerby drove her to a nearby fire station. She was then transported to Grant Medical Center… Police said they were searching for a mid-1980s red Ford Explorer in connection with the shooting. Investigators said the vehicle should have damage to the front driver's side from where it struck the garage door.
According to police, someone told the apartment manager that three men were trying to break into one of the apartment units. The manager got inside her car and followed the men in hopes of writing down their vehicle's license plate number… The men fled the apartment, crashing into a garage along the way. As both the vehicles traveled down Shannon Road past Dayspring Church, gunfire rang out. A witness, who asked not to be identified, said she and her daughter hit the ground after hearing two gunshots.
The wounded woman got out of her car and a passerby drove her to a nearby fire station. She was then transported to Grant Medical Center… Police said they were searching for a mid-1980s red Ford Explorer in connection with the shooting. Investigators said the vehicle should have damage to the front driver's side from where it struck the garage door.
Sawyer Towers For Sale
NBC 4: Years of insufficient funding for local public housing properties is catching up to the facilities. Now, the Columbus Metropolitan Housing Authority is working to sell or demolish a variety of buildings that house roughly 2,000 residents.
The twin 15-story Sawyer Towers in east Columbus are up for sale. CMHA already started moving residents out and the plan is to empty the towers and the 370 one-bedroom units inside within the next 12 months. “It looks pretty good from the outside, but that just like you, if you had cancer and nobody knew it, you wouldn’t know it until you died, right?“ said Roger Little, a resident of Sawyer Towers.
Many said the lack of federal funding to keep up the property is more than noticeable and moving elsewhere will not be painful—especially with the housing authority’s help. “We actually take people on bus tours. We take them around, showing property in various parts of the county,“ said Dennis Guest, executive director of CMHA.
Guest said the housing authority will not rush tenants out of the towers. In fact, he said CMHA will pay for all moving expenses for the residents as well as utility hook-up costs and the residents who are primarily lower-income families and seniors will receive vouchers to help pay the costs at their new residences. “They’ll be in better units, easier to get to, your costs are down, people are happier,“ Guest said.
The realtor hired by the housing authority to sell the properties has suggested students at nearby colleges might someday call the towers home, but the surrounding neighborhood will remain comprised of public housing units. If a buyer is not located, the towers will be demolished.
The twin 15-story Sawyer Towers in east Columbus are up for sale. CMHA already started moving residents out and the plan is to empty the towers and the 370 one-bedroom units inside within the next 12 months. “It looks pretty good from the outside, but that just like you, if you had cancer and nobody knew it, you wouldn’t know it until you died, right?“ said Roger Little, a resident of Sawyer Towers.
Many said the lack of federal funding to keep up the property is more than noticeable and moving elsewhere will not be painful—especially with the housing authority’s help. “We actually take people on bus tours. We take them around, showing property in various parts of the county,“ said Dennis Guest, executive director of CMHA.
Guest said the housing authority will not rush tenants out of the towers. In fact, he said CMHA will pay for all moving expenses for the residents as well as utility hook-up costs and the residents who are primarily lower-income families and seniors will receive vouchers to help pay the costs at their new residences. “They’ll be in better units, easier to get to, your costs are down, people are happier,“ Guest said.
The realtor hired by the housing authority to sell the properties has suggested students at nearby colleges might someday call the towers home, but the surrounding neighborhood will remain comprised of public housing units. If a buyer is not located, the towers will be demolished.
Quick Read
Aaron Portzline types a poignant front page story about John McConnell and how the man responsible for hickey in this city would have enjoyed Thursday night…
Ken Gordon and Michael Arace could should study Portzline… Both type stories that have premise and no promise… Gordon’s profile of Brandon Saine is bland… Arace’s story on the “original” Blue Jackets skates for days and still never locates the puck… Honestly, Arace gets worse with every column I read…
Ken Gordon and Michael Arace could should study Portzline… Both type stories that have premise and no promise… Gordon’s profile of Brandon Saine is bland… Arace’s story on the “original” Blue Jackets skates for days and still never locates the puck… Honestly, Arace gets worse with every column I read…
Thursday, April 9, 2009
INVITE: Red Planet Fashion Show
Commencement: 10:00Venue: Sugar Bar (525 Park Street)
Red Planet Fashion Show
Mezzanine Drinks (Available 11 p.m. – Midnight)
$1 Top Shelf Drinks
Appearances
Laura Debord
Zackary Sin
Blue Jackets Announce Playoff Sales
The Columbus Blue Jackets secured their first playoff berth in dramatic fashion Wednesday night. So, how do you get a ticket to history?
Tickets go on sale at 9 a.m. Saturday, April 11. Tickets range from $45 to $230 for the first round and go to $125 to $400 for the fourth round. Game dates will be announced the evening of Sunday, April 12, with Stanley Cup Playoff games scheduled to begin Wednesday, April 15.
Tickets for first-round games will be on sale at the Nationwide Arena ticket office, all Ticketmaster ticket centers, the FOX Sports Ohio Blue Line at The Mall at Tuttle Crossing, online at http://www.BlueJackets.com and http://www.Ticketmaster.com, or by phone at 800-745-3000.
Tickets go on sale at 9 a.m. Saturday, April 11. Tickets range from $45 to $230 for the first round and go to $125 to $400 for the fourth round. Game dates will be announced the evening of Sunday, April 12, with Stanley Cup Playoff games scheduled to begin Wednesday, April 15.
Tickets for first-round games will be on sale at the Nationwide Arena ticket office, all Ticketmaster ticket centers, the FOX Sports Ohio Blue Line at The Mall at Tuttle Crossing, online at http://www.BlueJackets.com and http://www.Ticketmaster.com, or by phone at 800-745-3000.
Quick Read
Last night, history was made. This morning, the Dispatch’s coverage of that history is outstanding… Aaron Portzline’s (sports) story on the 4-3 win over the Blackhawks is excellent… The front page story, and I applaud the paper for awarding the news front page priority, is solid…
Not solid is Bob Hunter’s (sports) meandering story on the Clippers-Cleveland Indians partnership and Life and Art’s random pictorial of blank billboards…
Not solid is Bob Hunter’s (sports) meandering story on the Clippers-Cleveland Indians partnership and Life and Art’s random pictorial of blank billboards…
From Mason to McConnell: Jackets Make History
For seven seasons, this city has craved this evening. 654 contests had been played… 132 players had skated Nationwide Arena’s ice… 91 draft selections had been made… Nine were top ten selections… Five players had served as captain… Three logos had been utilized… And an owner and chairman had passed away…
With one point separating the Blue Jackets from their initial playoff experience, I anticipated an electric evening… As I walked the bricks, over the bridge, down the stairs, and toward the Frog Bear and Wild Boar, I was stunned… The bricks were silent… Granted, the temperature was imperfect and the Blue Jackets were in Chicago… Still, I expected activity… I expected recognition for the importance of this evening (I would locate that recognition later)…
When I arrived at the Frog Bear and Wild Boar, I recognized a cache of empty chairs… The Arena District’s premiere pre-game venue was vacant, only a scattered array of fans were enjoying dinner with friends, entertaining the bartenders, or watching the contest… And the contest, for the first period, was not worth watching… Fourteen minutes into the contest, the Blackhawks inked the initial salvo… Five minutes later, they registered a 2-0 lead (Apparently, the Blue Jackets didn’t recognize the importance of this evening either)…
Amidst this frustration, I was thankful for two conversations… The first with Frog Bear and Wild Boar Owner Tom Selvaggio… The second with Grace, who is a server… The round robin of our comments, mostly centering on the Blue Jackets and how, given the present circumstances, playing their way into another premature vacation was entirely possible, was completely enjoyable…
The second period’s commencement mirrored the conversation… After twenty-five minutes, the Blue Jackets closed within 2-1… They evened the contest three minutes later and as I walked the still silent bricks to R Bar, the obvious thought in my head, must have been obvious in everyone else’s as well… We are thirty minutes away… Don’t mess this up…
As I walked across the bridge and toward R Bar, the scene was what I had expected… The venue was crushed… The crowd was chanting, they were groaning, they were exalting and exhaling with every second… Yes, ABC6 and a Dispatch photographer were present, but the media wasn’t the patrons’ inspiration… Erasing their past was…
That past reappeared again, as five minutes after my arrival, the Blackhawks reassumed command 3-2. Was this scenery a titanic tease? Would this energy, which finally rivaled a football Saturday, be wasted? Would the Blue Jackets and their partisans have to count on the Detroit Red Wings to engrave their postseason invitation?
For almost fifteen minutes, those questions remained unanswered… Not for lack of inspiration from those watching… The chants, which included “Let’s Go Jackets” on numerous occasions, were exhilarating… This was the crowd I had anticipated… This was the crowd this franchise merited… An educated, exuberant mass crammed into a venue, which on this evening, was the ultimate hockey bar…
With ticks over five minutes remaining, the educated, exuberant mass finally received reason to explode… A trickling puck, which seemed unsalvageable, found the stick of Rick Nash… Who better to clinch the playoffs? Who better to score the goal? And he did… 3-3… The venue erupted…
That eruption would be trumped only minutes later when history was made… Within a glance, I couldn’t surmise if this was New Year’s Eve or simply a new hockey era… Fans cheered and hugged… I saw multiple couples kiss… The chant progressed from “Let’s Go Jackets” to “Lets Go Playoffs.” This crowd was delirious…
But, they were not satisfied… Amidst a chant of “Let’s Get Two,” the verdict was clear… They wanted a win… Overtime elapsed… The first shootout participants elapsed… Then, Fedor Tyutin scored… Steve Mason registered a final save… And the perfect conclusion was authored… As the crowd celebrated and cheered, the most poignant chant, one I had not considered, but savored hearing occurred… “J.H.M.”
In the post triumph pandemonium, it’s easy to forget that the person most responsible for hockey in Columbus wont witness the initial playoff contest… As many fans dedicate this penultimate accomplishment to Mason or Nash or Ken Hitchcock, they should remember John McConnell as well…
With one point separating the Blue Jackets from their initial playoff experience, I anticipated an electric evening… As I walked the bricks, over the bridge, down the stairs, and toward the Frog Bear and Wild Boar, I was stunned… The bricks were silent… Granted, the temperature was imperfect and the Blue Jackets were in Chicago… Still, I expected activity… I expected recognition for the importance of this evening (I would locate that recognition later)…
When I arrived at the Frog Bear and Wild Boar, I recognized a cache of empty chairs… The Arena District’s premiere pre-game venue was vacant, only a scattered array of fans were enjoying dinner with friends, entertaining the bartenders, or watching the contest… And the contest, for the first period, was not worth watching… Fourteen minutes into the contest, the Blackhawks inked the initial salvo… Five minutes later, they registered a 2-0 lead (Apparently, the Blue Jackets didn’t recognize the importance of this evening either)…
Amidst this frustration, I was thankful for two conversations… The first with Frog Bear and Wild Boar Owner Tom Selvaggio… The second with Grace, who is a server… The round robin of our comments, mostly centering on the Blue Jackets and how, given the present circumstances, playing their way into another premature vacation was entirely possible, was completely enjoyable…
The second period’s commencement mirrored the conversation… After twenty-five minutes, the Blue Jackets closed within 2-1… They evened the contest three minutes later and as I walked the still silent bricks to R Bar, the obvious thought in my head, must have been obvious in everyone else’s as well… We are thirty minutes away… Don’t mess this up…
As I walked across the bridge and toward R Bar, the scene was what I had expected… The venue was crushed… The crowd was chanting, they were groaning, they were exalting and exhaling with every second… Yes, ABC6 and a Dispatch photographer were present, but the media wasn’t the patrons’ inspiration… Erasing their past was…
That past reappeared again, as five minutes after my arrival, the Blackhawks reassumed command 3-2. Was this scenery a titanic tease? Would this energy, which finally rivaled a football Saturday, be wasted? Would the Blue Jackets and their partisans have to count on the Detroit Red Wings to engrave their postseason invitation?
For almost fifteen minutes, those questions remained unanswered… Not for lack of inspiration from those watching… The chants, which included “Let’s Go Jackets” on numerous occasions, were exhilarating… This was the crowd I had anticipated… This was the crowd this franchise merited… An educated, exuberant mass crammed into a venue, which on this evening, was the ultimate hockey bar…
With ticks over five minutes remaining, the educated, exuberant mass finally received reason to explode… A trickling puck, which seemed unsalvageable, found the stick of Rick Nash… Who better to clinch the playoffs? Who better to score the goal? And he did… 3-3… The venue erupted…
That eruption would be trumped only minutes later when history was made… Within a glance, I couldn’t surmise if this was New Year’s Eve or simply a new hockey era… Fans cheered and hugged… I saw multiple couples kiss… The chant progressed from “Let’s Go Jackets” to “Lets Go Playoffs.” This crowd was delirious…
But, they were not satisfied… Amidst a chant of “Let’s Get Two,” the verdict was clear… They wanted a win… Overtime elapsed… The first shootout participants elapsed… Then, Fedor Tyutin scored… Steve Mason registered a final save… And the perfect conclusion was authored… As the crowd celebrated and cheered, the most poignant chant, one I had not considered, but savored hearing occurred… “J.H.M.”
In the post triumph pandemonium, it’s easy to forget that the person most responsible for hockey in Columbus wont witness the initial playoff contest… As many fans dedicate this penultimate accomplishment to Mason or Nash or Ken Hitchcock, they should remember John McConnell as well…
Rock of Love
A Frog, Bear, and Wild Boar major event announcement… (This will rerun twice in the coming days… still, you may want to mark you calendar)…
Frog Bear and Wild Boar (April 24): Mindy Hall (Rock of Love) appearance.
Frog Bear and Wild Boar (April 24): Mindy Hall (Rock of Love) appearance.
Dirty, Putrid Tarnish Sugar
Appearances are my existence. The event invitations I receive entail celebrities, charities, city notables, premises, prizes, publicity, and various venues. Occasionally, they even include an aberrant subject.
Upon my arrival for the Vivid Video 25th Anniversary Celebration, I had scattered expectations. If anyone could present porn as a premiere vision, Owner Mike Gallichio and Promotions Superstars Randy Haffey and Shawn Money were the perfect trio. No one in this city can trump them for sensation. No one in this city can trump them for spectacle. Still, porn does not scream elite environment. Porn screams alone environment.
On Sugar Bar’s greatest nights, the employees and executives are not merely providers and purveyors. They join the party. They relish the party. Tonight, they were mostly invisible and scrambled. Their absence, their eyes, their frenetic texting spoke for this evening… Donnie Walhberg’s appearance was incomparable… Anything subsequent would have been a letdown… This subsequent was lethargic…
Not aiding, actually permanently maiming the event was the crowd that littered the upper and lower mezzanine, the dance floor, and the stripper pole area… They weren’t all horrific, in fact, a collection of bunnies scattered throughout the venue… Unfortunately, for every bunny, there was a minimum of one and occasionally three dirty, putrid things…
Their abnormal and multiple piercings, their overabundance of tattoos (including one demon that had his entire face inked) screamed societal reject… They screamed either eventual or previous incarceration… The bunnies were spectacular… But, they could not overcome the nightmare that surrounded them. They could not make invisible the collection, that I assume with certainty, reported to Satan at the end of the evening…
With every event, concept equals crowd. Mardi Gras enticed Freaks and Geeks… Walhberg enticed heifers (and for those who hate that term, please keep writing)… An adult video anniversary party enticed those who are inclined to watch adult videos… They should never, ever attend anywhere again…
Upon my arrival for the Vivid Video 25th Anniversary Celebration, I had scattered expectations. If anyone could present porn as a premiere vision, Owner Mike Gallichio and Promotions Superstars Randy Haffey and Shawn Money were the perfect trio. No one in this city can trump them for sensation. No one in this city can trump them for spectacle. Still, porn does not scream elite environment. Porn screams alone environment.
On Sugar Bar’s greatest nights, the employees and executives are not merely providers and purveyors. They join the party. They relish the party. Tonight, they were mostly invisible and scrambled. Their absence, their eyes, their frenetic texting spoke for this evening… Donnie Walhberg’s appearance was incomparable… Anything subsequent would have been a letdown… This subsequent was lethargic…
Not aiding, actually permanently maiming the event was the crowd that littered the upper and lower mezzanine, the dance floor, and the stripper pole area… They weren’t all horrific, in fact, a collection of bunnies scattered throughout the venue… Unfortunately, for every bunny, there was a minimum of one and occasionally three dirty, putrid things…
Their abnormal and multiple piercings, their overabundance of tattoos (including one demon that had his entire face inked) screamed societal reject… They screamed either eventual or previous incarceration… The bunnies were spectacular… But, they could not overcome the nightmare that surrounded them. They could not make invisible the collection, that I assume with certainty, reported to Satan at the end of the evening…
With every event, concept equals crowd. Mardi Gras enticed Freaks and Geeks… Walhberg enticed heifers (and for those who hate that term, please keep writing)… An adult video anniversary party enticed those who are inclined to watch adult videos… They should never, ever attend anywhere again…
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
INVITE: Blackberry Thursday
Commencement: 10:00Venue: Sugar Bar (525 Park Street)
Age Range: Male (21 and over); Female (19 and over)
VIP Access: Text (406-3072)
Blackberry Prizes
Blackberry Drinks
Drinks (Available All Night)
$3 Martinis
$2 Bombs
$1 Wells
INVITE: Ladies’ Night
Commencement: 9:00Venue: Onyx (1975 Henderson Road)
Women’s Specials (Available All Night)
$2.50 Pizzas
$1 Martinis
$1 Shots
Pride & Promotion
Tonight, two highlights will occur… Gossip CBUS will rack our two thousandth twitter tweet and the FDH Lounge will interview Beta Pong’s Kyle Alford and Nick Parsons… Listen to them and read us… You never know what might happen…
Quick Read
Once again, the front page scores, appropriately placing the Westerville jewelry robbery arrests above the fold… Tim May (sports) types an excellent appraisal of Ohio State’s defensive lineman… Unfortunately, Rob Oller (sports) squanders an interesting premise on Ohio State’s retiring golf coach (It took him five paragraphs to start talking about the coach… I felt like I was reading an article about Rob Oller)…
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Seven Seasons to Now
On April 8, 2009, history will be made. With only one point, the Blue Jackets will clinch their initial playoff opportunity. Gossip CBUS will completely cover this milestone, as we twitter live from the Frog Bear and Wild Boar and R Bar.
Get out tomorrow night, cheer, drink, read our tweets, and realize that with your hope and support, the postseason awaits...
Get out tomorrow night, cheer, drink, read our tweets, and realize that with your hope and support, the postseason awaits...
INVITE: Vivid Video 25th Anniversary
Commencement: 10:00Venue: Sugar Bar (525 Park Street)
Pole Dancing Contest
Vivid Video Girls
INVITE: Beer Shot Game Night
Commencement: 8:00Venue: Spice Gastro Lounge (491 Park Street)
Competitions
Beer Pong (Tournament)
Cornhole
Fooseball (Tournament)
Flip Cup
Wii Bowling
Drinks (Available All Night)
$3 Bottles (16 ounces)
$3 Jack & Coke
$3 Mango Bombs
$3 Soco & Lime Shots
Co-Sponsors
Beta Pong
Ohio Beer Pong League
Westerville Robbers Retrieved
NBC 4: Six suspects were arrested in New Jersey Tuesday and $1 million in jewels were recovered after an alleged aggravated robbery last Friday night. The six New Jersey arrests and the connection to an alleged smash-and-grab robbery were confirmed by Westerville police close to 1:10 p.m. Tuesday.
Westerville detectives, working with numerous law enforcement agencies, arrested the six in a hotel in Wayne, N.J., Monday morning. One million in jewels also were recovered in the same hotel, including rubies, opals, diamonds and gold.
The arrests were a result of a combined effort of Westerville detectives, FBI, LAPD, NYPD, Wayne Twp. police and the Passaic County sheriff’s department. All of the suspects were being detained in the Passaic County Jail, in New Jersey, pending identification and a court appearance.
An Indiana jeweler was looking for Easton Towne Center Friday, April 3, after he left a gem show at the Ohio Exhibition Center, according to Westerville police. The jeweler ended up in the Fazoli’s parking lot at 807 S. State St., Westerville and sent his wife and daughter inside while he attempted to figure out his GPS.
A silver Chrysler 300 pulled into the parking lot and blocked in the jeweler’s vehicle, police said. At least three men smashed out the windows of his SUV and grabbed two cases of jewelry from inside.
The jeweler, a licensed handgun carrier, fired a weapon and struck the passenger side of the vehicle. Police arrived at the scene and began searching for the suspects. Less than three hours after the incident, police found the suspected vehicle in Westerville. Detectives identified one suspect as 22-year-old Julio Angel Casiano Ruiz, of California.
Westerville detectives, working with numerous law enforcement agencies, arrested the six in a hotel in Wayne, N.J., Monday morning. One million in jewels also were recovered in the same hotel, including rubies, opals, diamonds and gold.
The arrests were a result of a combined effort of Westerville detectives, FBI, LAPD, NYPD, Wayne Twp. police and the Passaic County sheriff’s department. All of the suspects were being detained in the Passaic County Jail, in New Jersey, pending identification and a court appearance.
An Indiana jeweler was looking for Easton Towne Center Friday, April 3, after he left a gem show at the Ohio Exhibition Center, according to Westerville police. The jeweler ended up in the Fazoli’s parking lot at 807 S. State St., Westerville and sent his wife and daughter inside while he attempted to figure out his GPS.
A silver Chrysler 300 pulled into the parking lot and blocked in the jeweler’s vehicle, police said. At least three men smashed out the windows of his SUV and grabbed two cases of jewelry from inside.
The jeweler, a licensed handgun carrier, fired a weapon and struck the passenger side of the vehicle. Police arrived at the scene and began searching for the suspects. Less than three hours after the incident, police found the suspected vehicle in Westerville. Detectives identified one suspect as 22-year-old Julio Angel Casiano Ruiz, of California.
They Couldn’t Anticipate Unemployment?
NBC 4: There are more budget problems for the City of Columbus, officials announced Tuesday. The city auditor told the mayor that the city is short another $16 million this quarter, saying it’s a direct result of the high unemployment rate…
Auditor Hugh Dorrian said the city is short the money in addition to the $13 million needed in January. Dorrian said the reason is simple: the city isn’t collecting as much income tax, which makes up two-thirds of the city’s operating budget. “I’m sorry to say unemployment continues to rise. Our biggest source of money to operate the city is the city income tax. Not only is there no growth, it is continually going negative compared to prior years,“ Dorrian said.
The answer to the problem, Dorrian said, is to raise the income tax rate by at least half a percent. That would bring in $90 million to $100 million more annually. In a statement from his office, Mayor Michael Coleman responded, “to address this $16 million gap, the administration and city council must work closely together, similar to what we did leading up to the adoption of the 2009 budget.”
Dorrian also pointed out that more than 50 percent of income tax revenue is collected from non-residents.
Auditor Hugh Dorrian said the city is short the money in addition to the $13 million needed in January. Dorrian said the reason is simple: the city isn’t collecting as much income tax, which makes up two-thirds of the city’s operating budget. “I’m sorry to say unemployment continues to rise. Our biggest source of money to operate the city is the city income tax. Not only is there no growth, it is continually going negative compared to prior years,“ Dorrian said.
The answer to the problem, Dorrian said, is to raise the income tax rate by at least half a percent. That would bring in $90 million to $100 million more annually. In a statement from his office, Mayor Michael Coleman responded, “to address this $16 million gap, the administration and city council must work closely together, similar to what we did leading up to the adoption of the 2009 budget.”
Dorrian also pointed out that more than 50 percent of income tax revenue is collected from non-residents.
Crime & Peril
10 TV: Police said a pregnant woman was inside when three men broke into her west side home Tuesday morning. At least one of the men had a gun when they went through the back door of the home on Dlyn Street at about 11 a.m... Investigators said it was an attempted burglary, and the men did not know someone was home. The robbers ordered the woman to sit on the couch while they ransacked the home and took several items, including electronics and money… No injuries were reported.
NBC 4: Almost five and a half years ago, The Justice League of Ohio began providing legal assistance to crime victims including direct representation during criminal proceedings. Recently a drop in federal and corporate funding could be forcing it out-of-business. What was once a busy office is now just a shell waiting for new owners. Cathering Harper-Lee is the Executive Director of the Justice League. She was once too a victim of crime and that led her to want to help others. For Harper-Lee, her experienced pushed her to help other victims have their voice heard during the judicial process. The Justice League would inform victims of their rights to information, including conferring with prosecutors and being present during the trial. To-date, Harper-Lee and the staff of three attorneys have successfully represented 700 victims. The Justice League needs $525 thousand annually to operate; Harper-Lee is hoping for federal stimulus dollars to help. The Justice League of Ohio is hosting a fundraising event on April 18th. Organizers hope to raise enough money as they wait to see if they qualify for federal stimulus dollars.
NBC 4: Almost five and a half years ago, The Justice League of Ohio began providing legal assistance to crime victims including direct representation during criminal proceedings. Recently a drop in federal and corporate funding could be forcing it out-of-business. What was once a busy office is now just a shell waiting for new owners. Cathering Harper-Lee is the Executive Director of the Justice League. She was once too a victim of crime and that led her to want to help others. For Harper-Lee, her experienced pushed her to help other victims have their voice heard during the judicial process. The Justice League would inform victims of their rights to information, including conferring with prosecutors and being present during the trial. To-date, Harper-Lee and the staff of three attorneys have successfully represented 700 victims. The Justice League needs $525 thousand annually to operate; Harper-Lee is hoping for federal stimulus dollars to help. The Justice League of Ohio is hosting a fundraising event on April 18th. Organizers hope to raise enough money as they wait to see if they qualify for federal stimulus dollars.
Quick Read
Robert Vitale’s report (metro) on another impending round of budget cuts is excruciating… (The piece is well typed… The fact we have to cut more budget is the ridiculous part)…
Speaking of impending, Bill Chronister types an excellent feature (business) on the expected impact of the Clippers move into their downtown ballpark… The piece quotes Frog Bear and Wild Boar Owner Tom Selvaggio (a great executive)… However, the piece never mentions Lodge Bar, who I know for a fact is staging Clippers promotions…
Sports headline “Motown Beatdown” perfectly summarizes last night’s disaster of a national championship game, which fortunately, I only watched half of…
Speaking of impending, Bill Chronister types an excellent feature (business) on the expected impact of the Clippers move into their downtown ballpark… The piece quotes Frog Bear and Wild Boar Owner Tom Selvaggio (a great executive)… However, the piece never mentions Lodge Bar, who I know for a fact is staging Clippers promotions…
Sports headline “Motown Beatdown” perfectly summarizes last night’s disaster of a national championship game, which fortunately, I only watched half of…
Monday, April 6, 2009
BREAKING: Is BOMA Next Casualty?
The Bar of Modern Art (BOMA) will close within six months, unless the venue’s financial pattern radically reverses. The 23,000 square foot BOMA, which was formally the Century Baptist church, opened in 2006. The venue was renovated at a cost of $5 million. It includes six bars, five separate rooms, and two dance floors.
Another Robbery & Ridiculous Weather
10 TV: The FBI said that it was searching for the man who robbed a Short North bank on Monday afternoon. According to investigators, a man wearing a dark hooded sweatshirt entered First Community Bank, located at 647 North High St., at about 2:11 p.m. Police said that the man walked straight up to a teller where he demanded money. The man kept his hand inside his sweatshirt as though he had a weapon. None was seen but police said that the teller complied and gave the robber money from his drawer. Anyone with information is asked to contact the Columbus Police Robbery Squad at 614-645-4665 or the FBI at 614-744-2168.
10 TV: The National Weather Service has issued a freeze warning for Franklin county from 11 p.m. until 10 a.m. Tuesday… Overnight temperatures are expected to drop into the mid to upper 20s, which will likely result in a hard freeze. Temperatures could cause damage to vegetation. Spring-like temperatures have fallen off the radar -- at least for the time being. Tuesday's early morning low will drop to 28 degrees, and occasional snow showers may leave a coating in some parts of central and southern Ohio… It will remain cold Tuesday, with the possibility of an occasional snow or rain shower. Expect daytime highs to only reach 36 degrees. Freeze watches are in effect for Tuesday night into early Wednesday, when low temperatures are again expected to dip below freezing… we'll begin to warm up on Wednesday, with partly sunny skies and temperatures reaching 48 degrees. We should be back into the 60s by the weekend.
10 TV: The National Weather Service has issued a freeze warning for Franklin county from 11 p.m. until 10 a.m. Tuesday… Overnight temperatures are expected to drop into the mid to upper 20s, which will likely result in a hard freeze. Temperatures could cause damage to vegetation. Spring-like temperatures have fallen off the radar -- at least for the time being. Tuesday's early morning low will drop to 28 degrees, and occasional snow showers may leave a coating in some parts of central and southern Ohio… It will remain cold Tuesday, with the possibility of an occasional snow or rain shower. Expect daytime highs to only reach 36 degrees. Freeze watches are in effect for Tuesday night into early Wednesday, when low temperatures are again expected to dip below freezing… we'll begin to warm up on Wednesday, with partly sunny skies and temperatures reaching 48 degrees. We should be back into the 60s by the weekend.
Quick Read
Monday’s headline… “North Korea in World’s Doghouse” is exquisite… Equally exquisite is Sherri Williams’ portrait of Milo-Grogan (metro)… The crime infested, dilapidated slum, which started to collapse when the community lost 400 homes to the restructuring of interstate 71… Jennifer Richards piece on Ohio’s substitute teacher pool (metro) is also interesting…
Sunday, April 5, 2009
INVITE: Vivid Video 25th Anniversary
Calendar: April 8Commencement: 10:00
Venue: Sugar Bar (525 Park Street)
Pole Dancing Contest
Vivid Video Girls
INVITE: Goose Island Kickoff Party
Commencement: 6:00Conclusion: 9:00
Venue: Park Street Patio (533 Park Street)
Complimentary Pizza Buffet
Goose Island Samples & T-Shirts
OSU Issues Crime Alert
NBC 4: The Ohio State University has issued a new crime alert for the Columbus campus after two recent robberies where guns were involved. On Friday night, it was reported 2 female students in the area of 17th and Iuka were robbed at gunpoint. It was reported, the suspects are two black males that left the area in a tan Jeep Cherokee. Again early Saturday morning a male reported an attempted robbery at 14th and Indianola. The suspect is reported as a black male approximately 6’3” tall and leaving the area in an older silver Dodge van. When the suspect approached the victim, the victim felt the gun and the suspect demanded money. Anyone with information regarding these crimes should contact the University Police at (614) 292-2121 or Columbus Police at (614) 645-4545.
Saturday Massacred
NBC 4: The Columbus Division of Police were called to Children’s Hospital early Sunday morning to investigate a shooting… 18-year-old Floyd Williams is in critical condition at Children’s Hospital after he was shot in the upper body. The investigation revealed Williams stopped in front of 1117 McAllister Avenue to drop off a friend when several males approached him and attempted to rob him. One of the suspects fired several shots into the vehicle striking Williams in the upper body. Detectives tell Brockman Williams drove himself to Children’s Hospital after he was shot and was rushed into surgery in critical condition. If you have any information, you are asked to contact the Columbus Police Assault Squad at (614) 645-4141 or Central Ohio Crimestoppers at (614) 645-8477.
10 TV: Police said a man was found lying in an alley on the city's east side Saturday night. Investigators said Michael J. Thomas had been shot once in the upper body. He was found lying in an alley near East Livingston and Kellner avenues, located south of Interstate 70, shortly before midnight. Thomas, 34, was pronounced dead at the scene.
10 TV: Police said a man was found lying in an alley on the city's east side Saturday night. Investigators said Michael J. Thomas had been shot once in the upper body. He was found lying in an alley near East Livingston and Kellner avenues, located south of Interstate 70, shortly before midnight. Thomas, 34, was pronounced dead at the scene.
You Have Questions... I Have Answers
Since Gossip Cbus began, I’ve been swamped with e-mail (thanks for the love)… While I’ve tried to give individual responses to several, I also know that some of the questions are questions others may have and thus, answering them publicly would be better… Therefore, from time to time, I will answer questions where everyone can see them…
Q: I found both of your columns on the New Kids on the Block extremely offensive… What gives you the right to judge women as you did?
A: This is only one of the crush of e-mails and negative comments this website has received following Friday night’s writing… I am, through this e-mail, responding to all of the e-mails received… Let me be very clear… I understand some people are insulted… I understand some people are upset… I understand some people may have taken what I said as judgment… If you did take it as judgment or I have offended anyone, good… This website is meant to be controversial and provocative and I will not apologize for that… Keep reading…
Q: I’ve noticed your coverage of crime is pretty extensive… It seems out of character with the rest of your coverage. Can you explain?
A: Crime may be out of character with bunnies and nightclubs, but we cover crime because the volume of it in this city has increased and it deserves more than a blip inside of the paper or a quick thirty seconds on the evening news… We’re paying very close attention to crime, because frankly, not enough other people are…
Q: This is the last week of the Blue Jackets season… What do you have planned?
A: With the franchise only three points away (through either their wins or other’s losses) from a playoff birth, we will have last week coverage. Specifically, the April 8 contest versus the Blackhawks and either one of both of the April 10 and 11 contests versus the Blues and Wild…
Q: I found both of your columns on the New Kids on the Block extremely offensive… What gives you the right to judge women as you did?
A: This is only one of the crush of e-mails and negative comments this website has received following Friday night’s writing… I am, through this e-mail, responding to all of the e-mails received… Let me be very clear… I understand some people are insulted… I understand some people are upset… I understand some people may have taken what I said as judgment… If you did take it as judgment or I have offended anyone, good… This website is meant to be controversial and provocative and I will not apologize for that… Keep reading…
Q: I’ve noticed your coverage of crime is pretty extensive… It seems out of character with the rest of your coverage. Can you explain?
A: Crime may be out of character with bunnies and nightclubs, but we cover crime because the volume of it in this city has increased and it deserves more than a blip inside of the paper or a quick thirty seconds on the evening news… We’re paying very close attention to crime, because frankly, not enough other people are…
Q: This is the last week of the Blue Jackets season… What do you have planned?
A: With the franchise only three points away (through either their wins or other’s losses) from a playoff birth, we will have last week coverage. Specifically, the April 8 contest versus the Blackhawks and either one of both of the April 10 and 11 contests versus the Blues and Wild…
Quick Read
Kelly Lecker’s “Hoops and Faith” front-page feature starts muddled… Fortunately, Lecker recovers and the piece presents a poignant reminder that the simplest endeavors can permanently change communities and existences…
Jack Torry’s feature, while not front page (Insight actually), is equally as fascinating as Lecker’s… In “A Better Deal,” Torry contrasts Franklin Roosevelt’s attempt to conclude a depression with Barack Obama’s attempt to curb a recession… You hear the pair compared constantly… But, Torry is one of the first journalists I have seen that adequately measures the two against one another…
Margaret Harding’s feature “Layoffs for Law Firms” (business) is also very interesting…
Jack Torry’s feature, while not front page (Insight actually), is equally as fascinating as Lecker’s… In “A Better Deal,” Torry contrasts Franklin Roosevelt’s attempt to conclude a depression with Barack Obama’s attempt to curb a recession… You hear the pair compared constantly… But, Torry is one of the first journalists I have seen that adequately measures the two against one another…
Margaret Harding’s feature “Layoffs for Law Firms” (business) is also very interesting…
Compete As Yourself, Succeed Like Them
America has become a “Swagga Like Us” culture. It’s all about capturing someone else’s attention and making them jealous… It’s all about challenging everyone with your personality and talent… This isn’t generation x… This is generation envy… It’s simply not enough to be part of the conversation… You must own the conversation…
Prior to my arrival for the Beta Pong Tournament, I had murky expectations… Beer Pong has it’s origins in bored people, who rather than sit and drink, decided to channel human’s innate desire for competition by tossing table tennis balls into plastic cups… In my lifetime, I have seen all manner of projectiles from golf balls to a Christmas ornament utilized for the purposes of beer pong… And as for the playing surface… A table tennis table, an old air hockey table, a piece of plywood laid across two saw horses…
I honestly could not predict what I would encounter as I walked past the registration table and up McFadden’s staircase to the second floor… I was both impressed and thrilled… The four tables appeared professional with numbers adorning each one… There was a side table, which sold a variety of Beta Pong shirts… There were typed and printed rules and brackets…
I knew I could expect more from McFadden’s than plywood and saw horses, but I didn’t expect the precise professionalism of Beta Pong, which as it happens, is a Worthington based company run by high school friends Nick Parsons, Derek Alford, Bijan Moazampour, and Drew Kitchen, all of whom are outstanding individuals… After talking to each one for five minutes, two facts were clear… These three understand the generation they are a part of and this evening would be incomparable…
After slight delays, due to registration, scheduling, and sequencing (which I assume is mostly due to the fact, and I didn’t know this also, that this was Beta Pong’s first actual tournament), the tournament commenced with twenty-five teams… As the swarm descended on the second floor, it only took one a moment to realize the obvious… McFadden’s was the perfect venue for this event…
Within minutes of the start, McFadden’s second floor was an audible and visual feast… As I said at the outset (but will expand upon now), human’s desire for competition is innate… Human’s desire to strut is also and with a brilliant backdrop of rap music, a crush of bunnies watching, and a torrent of trash talk, that is exactly what the participants proceeded to do… After ten minutes of tournament, McFadden’s was no longer the campus venue with relaxed rules… McFadden’s was the ultimate frat house…
Simultaneously, four pong tables had balls flying and beer disappearing… The collage resembled the opening two days of the NCAA Basketball tournament… Speaking of that tournament, North Carolina’s demolition of Villanova was on two screens overhead, as was the Blue Jackets narrow 5-4 shootout loss to the Nashville Predators… Competition and sports television not enough?
The exquisite blend of rap music served as the perfect soundtrack… While I’m honestly over DJ Lester’s continued worship of President Obama (the election’s over, you know), his competition compilation, which included “Blame It,” “I’m On A Boat,” and “Public Service Announcement” blared the perfect tone… The competitors tossed their balls, lip synched the lyrics, posed, preened, pounded their chests, and restated (constantly) their presence with authority… This emotion laced spectacle would have been enough to warrant ten paragraphs of praise… But, of course, there were bunnies…
Arrayed throughout McFadden’s… Arrayed amidst the beer pong participants was the crush of cuties we expect from this venue… From those texting their friends about the tournament, to those who captivated attention with their dancing, the colors and curves were delicious… Unlike last night, anyone would have been the perfect inspiration for multiple paragraphs… But, I choose to focus on a similar pair…
Now, I know I’ve discussed several previous bunnies, all of which are gorgeous, all of which have earned the praise they have received… With that said, I have always admired the off the rack bunny… What do I mean? I mean the bunny who is so perfect, that she appears as though she could awaken in the morning and with no visible effort, appear as perfect as you always witness…
Believe it or not, though it sounds implausible, it’s not and there were two textbook off the rack examples showcased this evening… The first a bambi bunny, wearing a scrumptious orange shirt, white sweater, and skinny jeans… She was elegant, the kind of bunny of who at a glance, makes your heart melt… The second example was Lucky Charm Brooke, whom I’ve mentioned previously… I know there are a collection of gorgeous charms, but again, Brooke is that exception… Watching her lip sync and grind and radiate perfection, you can’t imagine the girl has a flaw or has had a flaw ever…
As the tournament reached the quarterfinals and semi-finals, the action intensified… As with the NCAA Tournament, the electricity and excitement occurs in the initial rounds… The regional semi-finals, regional finals, national semi-finals, and national final have fewer combatants and contests, but the level of play is superb… This was the case in the Beta Pong Elite Eight and Final Four… The initial rounds took tantalizingly long to finish… These rounds took heartbeats to finish… Every throw was seemingly a splash… Every throw seemingly was part of a master plan, with one tandem outflanking the other…
With the final set to commence, the energy of McFadden’s, both upstairs and downstairs, at the bars, at the tables, and on the dance floor was stellar… The bunnies kept arriving… They kept dancing… And the Lucky Charms, led by Sytease and Brooke kept providing the incentive everyone craves… Even the newer Lucky Charms, Garin and Rae were exemplary… Although, and I don’t know this, it’s only what I’ve heard… Rae has apparently provided herself a nickname… Doesn’t she know only I am entitled to provide those…
The final, as with the semi-finals, was a brisk and climatic affair… As I tried to capture on twitter (although, pong doesn’t honestly translate to twitter), the final was a shot for shot contest… Pike and Feed the Cow spent twenty minutes silently screaming can you top this, before Pike sank the final shot, won $500 and the title… I spoke with one of the team members and we should have an interview with them in the next two days… In my possession now, I have the ball Pike used to sink the final shot… As for Beta Pong, this was their opening salvo… They have a second beer pong tournament scheduled for Lodge Bar next Saturday (and yes, we will cover it live)…
In HBO’s “The Wire,” Union Leader Frank Sabotka, anguished over the fate of his coworkers, opines “We used to make sh&& in this country, build sh%%. Now we just put our hand in the next guy's pocket.” The fact is this is the truth and I don’t blame older citizens if they lament this nation’s trajectory… However, as I said at the outset, younger citizenry has become generation envy… And clearly, Parsons, Moazampour, and Kitchen realize that the quickest route to someone envying you, is create something they have not…
Prior to my arrival for the Beta Pong Tournament, I had murky expectations… Beer Pong has it’s origins in bored people, who rather than sit and drink, decided to channel human’s innate desire for competition by tossing table tennis balls into plastic cups… In my lifetime, I have seen all manner of projectiles from golf balls to a Christmas ornament utilized for the purposes of beer pong… And as for the playing surface… A table tennis table, an old air hockey table, a piece of plywood laid across two saw horses…
I honestly could not predict what I would encounter as I walked past the registration table and up McFadden’s staircase to the second floor… I was both impressed and thrilled… The four tables appeared professional with numbers adorning each one… There was a side table, which sold a variety of Beta Pong shirts… There were typed and printed rules and brackets…
I knew I could expect more from McFadden’s than plywood and saw horses, but I didn’t expect the precise professionalism of Beta Pong, which as it happens, is a Worthington based company run by high school friends Nick Parsons, Derek Alford, Bijan Moazampour, and Drew Kitchen, all of whom are outstanding individuals… After talking to each one for five minutes, two facts were clear… These three understand the generation they are a part of and this evening would be incomparable…
After slight delays, due to registration, scheduling, and sequencing (which I assume is mostly due to the fact, and I didn’t know this also, that this was Beta Pong’s first actual tournament), the tournament commenced with twenty-five teams… As the swarm descended on the second floor, it only took one a moment to realize the obvious… McFadden’s was the perfect venue for this event…
Within minutes of the start, McFadden’s second floor was an audible and visual feast… As I said at the outset (but will expand upon now), human’s desire for competition is innate… Human’s desire to strut is also and with a brilliant backdrop of rap music, a crush of bunnies watching, and a torrent of trash talk, that is exactly what the participants proceeded to do… After ten minutes of tournament, McFadden’s was no longer the campus venue with relaxed rules… McFadden’s was the ultimate frat house…
Simultaneously, four pong tables had balls flying and beer disappearing… The collage resembled the opening two days of the NCAA Basketball tournament… Speaking of that tournament, North Carolina’s demolition of Villanova was on two screens overhead, as was the Blue Jackets narrow 5-4 shootout loss to the Nashville Predators… Competition and sports television not enough?
The exquisite blend of rap music served as the perfect soundtrack… While I’m honestly over DJ Lester’s continued worship of President Obama (the election’s over, you know), his competition compilation, which included “Blame It,” “I’m On A Boat,” and “Public Service Announcement” blared the perfect tone… The competitors tossed their balls, lip synched the lyrics, posed, preened, pounded their chests, and restated (constantly) their presence with authority… This emotion laced spectacle would have been enough to warrant ten paragraphs of praise… But, of course, there were bunnies…
Arrayed throughout McFadden’s… Arrayed amidst the beer pong participants was the crush of cuties we expect from this venue… From those texting their friends about the tournament, to those who captivated attention with their dancing, the colors and curves were delicious… Unlike last night, anyone would have been the perfect inspiration for multiple paragraphs… But, I choose to focus on a similar pair…
Now, I know I’ve discussed several previous bunnies, all of which are gorgeous, all of which have earned the praise they have received… With that said, I have always admired the off the rack bunny… What do I mean? I mean the bunny who is so perfect, that she appears as though she could awaken in the morning and with no visible effort, appear as perfect as you always witness…
Believe it or not, though it sounds implausible, it’s not and there were two textbook off the rack examples showcased this evening… The first a bambi bunny, wearing a scrumptious orange shirt, white sweater, and skinny jeans… She was elegant, the kind of bunny of who at a glance, makes your heart melt… The second example was Lucky Charm Brooke, whom I’ve mentioned previously… I know there are a collection of gorgeous charms, but again, Brooke is that exception… Watching her lip sync and grind and radiate perfection, you can’t imagine the girl has a flaw or has had a flaw ever…
As the tournament reached the quarterfinals and semi-finals, the action intensified… As with the NCAA Tournament, the electricity and excitement occurs in the initial rounds… The regional semi-finals, regional finals, national semi-finals, and national final have fewer combatants and contests, but the level of play is superb… This was the case in the Beta Pong Elite Eight and Final Four… The initial rounds took tantalizingly long to finish… These rounds took heartbeats to finish… Every throw was seemingly a splash… Every throw seemingly was part of a master plan, with one tandem outflanking the other…
With the final set to commence, the energy of McFadden’s, both upstairs and downstairs, at the bars, at the tables, and on the dance floor was stellar… The bunnies kept arriving… They kept dancing… And the Lucky Charms, led by Sytease and Brooke kept providing the incentive everyone craves… Even the newer Lucky Charms, Garin and Rae were exemplary… Although, and I don’t know this, it’s only what I’ve heard… Rae has apparently provided herself a nickname… Doesn’t she know only I am entitled to provide those…
The final, as with the semi-finals, was a brisk and climatic affair… As I tried to capture on twitter (although, pong doesn’t honestly translate to twitter), the final was a shot for shot contest… Pike and Feed the Cow spent twenty minutes silently screaming can you top this, before Pike sank the final shot, won $500 and the title… I spoke with one of the team members and we should have an interview with them in the next two days… In my possession now, I have the ball Pike used to sink the final shot… As for Beta Pong, this was their opening salvo… They have a second beer pong tournament scheduled for Lodge Bar next Saturday (and yes, we will cover it live)…
In HBO’s “The Wire,” Union Leader Frank Sabotka, anguished over the fate of his coworkers, opines “We used to make sh&& in this country, build sh%%. Now we just put our hand in the next guy's pocket.” The fact is this is the truth and I don’t blame older citizens if they lament this nation’s trajectory… However, as I said at the outset, younger citizenry has become generation envy… And clearly, Parsons, Moazampour, and Kitchen realize that the quickest route to someone envying you, is create something they have not…
Number Fifty-Six is Shooting-Suicide
10 TV: Police said a man shot his girlfriend and then killed himself inside an east side apartment Saturday night. The shooting occurred shortly before 11 p.m. at an apartment on Elder Lane, located north of Interstate 70… Investigators said the man shot his girlfriend multiple times and then shot himself. The woman was transported to Grant Medical Center in critical condition. The man was pronounced dead at the scene.
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