Characters, Storylines Provide City’s Soundtrack

Characters and storylines are omnipresent. Characters are the people and personalities which crystallize an evening’s moments. Storylines pattern and progress an evening’s entirety.

Upon my arrival for the Park Street Festival, the panorama was perfection. Parents and children strolling the scenery… Children smiling as their faces were painted… Couples and singles walking their dog… One could not have requested (and if they did, they would have been rejected) a superior visual to start the sun soaked afternoon…

As announced on twitter, I received the perfect start to my afternoon… Joe Boxer invited me onto his program… I will discuss my appearance momentarily, but I must compliment (and potentially gush about) Joe Boxer and WNCI. In three hours, the radio station’s triad and myself broached twenty separate conversations… A myriad of subjects, including this website’s ambition, composition, and origin, were discussed… These exchanges could have severed merely as icebreakers (and they did)… However, they also improved my intelligence…

Once, I labeled Joe Boxer as one of the most authentic, engaging people that one could encounter… If I continued praising his humanity for the next three pages, my assessment would remain spectacularly insufficient… Joe is not a role model you hope your children emulate… He is the role model you know you should emulate…

I promised I would return to my radio appearance, which I assumed would encompass three minutes… My appearance encompassed three hours and three segments… If you weren’t listening (and you should have been), Joe and I discussed the Gossip Awards, his hosting of them, this website, people watching, and platinum bunnies… If you were listening (I applaud you), I know I spoke with exceeding speed… You attempt twittering and have someone, as you’re typing, tell you your appearance is in thirty seconds…

Since I mentioned people watching (a phrase I never utilize), Park Street Festival’s afternoon was an amusing mosaic. From the lady who strode with a multi-colored purse and a gorilla wrapped around her arm to the Pittsburgh Steelers fans who offset their jerseys with terrible towels (no I’m not kidding), the calamitous cornucopia reaffirmed the obvious… This city needs a stylist…

The Steelers tandem simply epitomized the random and ridiculous montage of sports apparel which was present… The St. Louis Cardinals were copious… And every conference was represented… Big East, Mid American, Citywide Alliance of Kickball Champions… I enjoy sports… However, Park Street Festival isn’t the set of College Game Day… (Replace the gear with a polo)…

Between our initial and second twitter sessions, I encountered Park Street Patio Promotions Superstar Tori Lioness… As we discussed the event, one observance interwove through our conversation… Both of us were on minimal sleep and our work was half-over… When Tori suggested a shot, my conscience opposed alcohol (it’s not a stimulant)… All my mind could articulate is “I will have one with you…”

When Tori and I’s consumption and conversation concluded, Jamie Precious captured my attention… Jamie has amassed three mentions in three columns… We could have discussed the periodic table and she would have maintained my attention… Yet, as we discussed Les Wexner and his impact upon this city, Jamie reminded me of what should be this website’s watchwords… Those are column material are column material…

What is applicable concerning people is applicable concerning venues… And Park Street Patio’s weekend crowds reinforce this… While other venues awaited or exchanged patrons, Park Street Patio acquired and sustained patrons throughout the event… They were never crushed… Yet, Park Street Festival never poached their audience…

After ninety minutes of rest (not relaxation), Gandhi invited me onto her program. I promoted the website. We then shared an off-air conversation about this city; it’s media and nightlife… As I said on twitter, Gandhi has more personality than professionals who have been in the business a decade… For her, randoms are merely unmet friends…

Amidst Ghandi and I’s conversation, Gonzo appeared, munching on a pulled pork sandwich… His apparel (a shirt which read “my mustache brings all the boys to the yard”) and our conversation (whether twittering sounds as a dirty word) assimilated perfectly into the twilight’s random atmosphere… Clearly, the characters would be this evening’s storyline…

One of those characters… Lodge Bar Assistant General Manager Trevor Day, a superstar among management in this city… Superstars do not typically commit colossal mistakes… They comprehend managed expectations… They comprehend exceeded expectations impress, even when the original expectations are miniscule… Imagine my shock when he raised expectations…

Whereas most view cockiness as a defect, Trevor views cockiness as a competitive advantage… His expression and eyes assume victory; they present victory, even when victory is a virtual impossibility… Common sense implored he should minimize expectations… He should embrace the term average night… Instead, Trevor appeared to bet the house on his pair of fours…

As I returned to the Park Street Festival, I encounter Drew Hanson and Jimmy Jam, walking amongst the throng… We locate a somewhat unoccupied space (somewhat at this hour, a relative term) and the pair continue their previous conversation… Now, I have no clue concerning the context or subject matter… Yet, this is irrelevant… Jimmy Jam and the Cheshire Cat’s incidental complaints are as entertaining as any stage production as I have ever witnessed…

Moments after midnight, the Park Street Festival concluded… And the storylines commenced… Park Street Patio was crushed… The entrance line extended into the street and locating one’s friends would have required google earth… Lodge Bar was swarmed… And Callahan’s was merely scattered… Inside the booth, Gonzo was mimicking Mike Gallicchio’s prowl of the previous week… Where was his crowd? Where was his crowd?

One hour subsequent, as anyone walking toward their car, would have been better off walking home, Callahan’s crowd vastly improved… Consistently the perfectionist, Gonzo’s prowl remained ever present… He concocted sets… He connected sets… One glance toward the dance floor and one would assume he would have been elated… Yet, Gonzo’s intensity never relented…

Until one hour remained… It’s not as if there was a sudden influx of patrons… Gonzo’s strut simply reappeared… Gonzo mixed, he spun, he scratched, his hands noted the rhythm of the selection, his head noted the rhythm of the selection, he interacted with the crowd and the selection… For the final sixty minutes, his spectacular personality was palpable…

For the second consecutive evening, Park Street Patio was the unquestioned champion… I could spend several paragraphs praising their performance… However, their inside and outside were virtually impassable… And their bars were stacked five deep… Those scenarios scream for themselves…

When I returned to Lodge Bar, the venue was crushed… I could type never again will I doubt Trevor… However, that presumptive statement would be inaccurate… I will doubt him again… You never assume victory is possible with a pair of fours, until the winner sitting across from you is counting your chips… On this evening, Trevor was counting every single one…

Now, I would be remiss if I exited this column without admonishing DJ Michael. I sincerely respect him… He possesses skills… Unfortunately, there is a miniscule line between genius and madness and he flirted with it… “Barbie Girl,” “Mmmbop…” Did someone invite me to a retirement ceremony for insipid teenage anthems?

Concerning this website, I’ve been asked the question of why? What occurs in the various venues is not relevant… It is not news… Why analyze, report, and twitter every evening? In this city, characters and storylines are omnipresent. Information and stars are nonexistent. All four are coveted and inescapable. I am simply their soundtrack.

Park Street Festival Recognition

On Saturday, Gossip CBUS racked 193 twitter tweets. Thank you, Joe Boxer, Jonathon Ciancetta, and Gandhi (WNCI); Randy Haffey and Tori Lioness (Park Street Patio); Pat West, Trevor Day, and Mike Material (Lodge Bar); Jeff Lauback (Callahan’s); and every venue manager, slinger, and security employee.

Always Live

Within one hour of my prediction, Callahan’s second level was crushed. Given the crowd he warranted, Gonzo savored every moment and morsel… He challenged them… He enticed them… He posed, preened, scratched, and strutted… And we matched each other energetic lyric for energetic lyric…

Gonzo spins sets like I string sentences… Calculated and random… “Lose Your Love,” “Love Story,” “Love Game,” “Pour Some Sugar,” and “Welcome to the World”… The combination of skill and sound were perfect…

Always Live

Callahan’s French door, sidewalk café renovation is spectacular. With their reformation and scrumptious staff, Callahan’s is turning into the Arena District’s premiere venue.

Always Live

Gonzo, will appear at Callahan’s this weekend, is the probable choice to spin on the venue’s rooftop patio, according to sources with knowledge of the situation. The rooftop patio will open later this month.

BREAKING: Callahan’s Construction Commences

As Gossip CBUS first reported, Callahan’s has commenced construction on their rooftop patio. The spectacular addition, which includes a skyline view, will open later this month.

Crawl For Cancer Decadence Defines Generation

Generation One A.M. does not attend four figure fundraisers. Generation One A.M. does not host charitable tournaments or cocktail receptions. Generation One A.M. philanthropy is casual, expressive, and pleasurable.

Crawl for Cancer is eight years old. Generation One A.M. is twenty-eight evenings old. Yet, the former perfectly epitomizes the latter’s philanthropic philosophy. Forced conversation, formal attire, and fusty appetizers require invitations and protocol. Camaraderie colors and charitable intoxication translate via facebook, instant message, and text.

Now, I’ve twittered every second of celebrity appearances and sports spectacles and I will twitter every second of the Gossip Awards, Park Street Festival, and Red, White, and Boom… Without hesitation, no visual has equaled and no visual will equal Crawl for Cancer. The intermixed visual of squad personality and venue presence was phenomenal.

For several squads, merely matching colors was insufficient. Their coordination and individualism required extra. A pair of squads prepped for the Cleveland Cavaliers contest with matching headbands, one squad’s headbands reading “I Heart LBJ.” A pair of squads utilized Mardi Gras, one wearing beads and the other wearing masks. One squad was island themed. One squad wore shark necklaces. One squad lettered their jerseys, complete with a captain’s insignia. And one squad utilized “Super Troopers” as an inspiration with every member sporting a mustache.

The venues mirrored the participants. From coordinated servers (Garage Bar in black, Lodge Bar and Park Street Patio in red) to pink Coors Light banners which read “Welcome Crawlers,” the silent structures immersed themselves within the chaotic atmosphere. Their management and slingers serving simultaneously as enablers of the decadence and witnesses to it…

And every scene and squad witnessed was spectacular… Park Street Patio offered scrumptious slingers, an outdoor grill, and spray fans… Lodge Bar split their patio between a music menagerie and their rock stars on the back bar… Callahan’s second level was as swarmed as any summer evening… And every venue included cheers and screams, physical encouragement (also known as high fives) as members finished their pitchers… Vocal encouragement as they contemplated whether they could finish them…

Inevitably, several who finished embarrassed themselves and this superb event… One random puked, passed out, and was removed via stretcher… Another random was shoved onto the ground by his friends, which cracked his head open… You would assume, in an event such as this, responsibility would be inherent… Since it’s not, I will state the obvious… If you cannot converse, remain upright, or recognize your surroundings, you should exit the premises…

While the irresponsible were ridiculous (alright, they were also column material), they could not obscure the success. As the patios and sidewalks, which were previously massed with squads, silenced in the pre-evening air, my mind revisited what I had witnessed… “Debauchery for a good cause” was the phrase of earlier hours… Yet, this phrase was inadequate… Crawl for Cancer was the definition of a generation…

Crawl For Cancer Recognition

Crawl for Cancer Live would have been impossible without substantial support. Thank you, JP Ratajczak and Beth Keller (Crawl for Cancer); Pat West, Trevor Day, Mike Material, and Kattie Minx (Lodge Bar), Jeff Lauback (Callahan’s), and every venue manager, slinger, and security employee.

Always Live

Mynt Ultra Lounge has fired Maxwell according to sources with knowledge of the situation. Don’t venue executives understand… Talent costs…

Speaking of Maxwell and WNCI, Gonzo, Maxwell, and Marty Scott will appear at Callahan’s this evening. And Gonzo, DJ Legend, Randee Limelight, and the Cheshire Cat will appear at Models and Moguls this afternoon.

Always Live

Spice Bar, promotion is not placing printed spam onto vehicles… While I’m admonishing venues, Callahan’s Owner Jeff Lauback should counteract recent rumors. DJ Legend and Steve Chase are the preeminent mix pair in this city. They should not be separated.

Gonzo, Cheshire Create Callahan’s Contrast

Contrast is imperative. Cosmo Kramer is not hilarious without Jerry Seinfeld. Batman is not relevant without the Joker. Notorious B.I.G. is not successful without Sean “Puffy” Combs.

Upon my arrival at Callahan’s, the venue was scattered. The majority of the tables were occupied…. However, the second level, the main weekend event, wasn’t even open yet. As I stepped over the rope and traversed the stairs, I walked with one thought, would Gonzo receive the crowd he warranted?

I walked up the carpeted stairs, over the vacant wood floor, up another set of stairs and arrived inside the booth, where Gonzo was polishing his precision. Now, I know I just said the club was vacant and I know you’re thinking why would Gonzo work when minimal (if any) effort is required… That answer is simple… Mixing and spinning aren’t his hobby…

Despite an empty floor, Gonzo selected songs and worked the steel as if he were Chipper Jones, perfecting his swing in a stadium of empty seats… His eyes darted from the turntable to his case to his headphones, as he mapped his strategy… You could almost read his mind… Timing wasn’t important at the moment… Timing would become important…

As I marveled at Gonzo’s meticulous preparation, another person entered the booth… Instantly, I knew I recognized the person, but I could not recall when or if we had met… Two moments passed, glances were exchanged and finally, I sought the only identification means available… Gonzo and I exchanged whispers and I realized my own obliviousness… Standing within three feet of me, relaxed and texting, was the Cheshire Cat of this city, Drew Hanson…

Hanson and I swapped introductions, he complimented and critiqued this website, and we discussed several venues… Five minutes aren’t required to comprehend the Cheshire cat… Five seconds aren’t required… Hanson has opinions… He wants them shared… And if you agree, he doesn’t care… If you disagree, he really doesn’t care… Hanson’s blend of arrogant narcissism is equal parts amusing, entertaining, and incomprehensible…

I know I said this on twitter…. Yet, it is worth repeating as an encapsulation of Hanson… If confidence were cocaine, we would have discovered Hanson in a ditch at least a decade ago… Prominence produces ego and ego is productive…. Except, Hanson’s ego could encircle Ohio Stadium… (I know I am making him sound insufferable, but he was not and I assume he would make similar statements about his personality)…

I said a moment ago that while arrogantly narcissistic, Hanson is both amusing and entertaining… Whether encouraging mass consumption of a shot, dancing (and compelling you to dance), or repeating the same phrase multiple times, the Cheshire cat is the most dynamic and unique personality I have encountered in six months of this website… He was a column that wrote himself…

At approximately 11:30, Callahan’s finally removed the rope and opened the second level… The initial crowd was unspectacular… The heifers outnumbered the bunnies seven to one and no, that’s not a ratio, there was only one bunny… As I observed Gonzo, who had a triple digit temperature, who appeared as if he didn’t want to leave the stool for the next round (yes, that’s a boxing reference), my mind revisited my original question… Would he receive the crowd he warranted?

One hour subsequent, I received my answer… Despite a pedestrian start and an array of heifers, the dance floor improved… The second level improved… At approximately 12:30, Gonzo had the crowd he warranted and he savored every moment and morsel… As I darted between the booth and the floor, I observed the two components which were required… Scrumptious bunnies and energy…

In last night’s column (forget the subject for a moment), I typed that one knows when they have it… Gonzo knew he had it… Observing him after the swarm ensued was watching Manny Pacquiao in the second round… Gonzo mixed, he spun, he scratched, his hands noted the rhythm of the selection, his head noted the rhythm of the selection, he interacted with the crowd and the selection…

And his selections were exquisite… “This Is How We Do It,” “Poker Face,” “Lose Your Love,” “When I Grow Up,” and potentially the most incomprehensible mix ever… “Blister in the Sun” and “Insane in the Membrane…” Gonzo knew he had it and when you know, you don’t take a moment to reflect on your talent… You score every point you can…

While the aforesaid five selections were exemplary, Gonzo’s signature moment occurred only moments prior to my exit… With a crushed dance floor, Gonzo spun “Sugar” and the bunnies exploded… From floor level, the energy was as intense as any moment I have experienced… It rivaled when Donnie Wahlberg sang… The combination of crowd, skill, and sound were perfect….

The chorus, ripped from a regrettable pop song of this decade, echoed and you couldn’t not hear the screams… The entire evening, I had wondered would Gonzo receive the crowd he warranted? I concluded the evening at floor level, watching this crowd thank him for his skill… Gonzo may have had a triple digit temperature, but he contrasted it with unfathomable triple digit talent…

Always Live

Another evening, another conversation with the preeminent mix pair in this city. DJ Legend is his typical frenetic self. We discuss last night’s Lodge Bar energy and the critique of this site as a running nightlife play-by-play.

Watching Steve Chase work is watching the collaboration of chaos and spectacular… Play this song, select the next song, talk with two bunnies, and quote “Major League.” As I watch him stare into his computer screen, I can observe his mind gnashing… His complete command of his internal commission is incomprehensible…

Always Live

During my extra hour, I visited the preeminent mix pair in this city. Other venues showcase multiple spinners. However, DJ Legend and DJ Steve Chase are unique. Legend is a chaotic genius. He is one of the principal architects of the Scratch Pack. He epitomizes random and exhausts coffee.

Steve Chase is insightful and reflective. He is the former most valuable player, who remains active simply because he appreciates his art form. I know I said this about Lodge Bar Bartender Rick, but with Steve, it merits repetition… When you have the chance to listen to an artist with passion… Savor it… There is nothing better in this world…

Always Live

I know I have said this previously…. However, DJ Legend has skills… His marquee moment, and one of the most brilliant exhibitions I have ever witnessed, was a without hesitation intermix of “Sugar” and “Blue,” the latter serving as the foundation for the former’s baseline…

Amidst his masterful mixing, DJ Legend and I discussed this city’s mammoth size and minimalist mentality… We also discussed the 2009 Gossip Awards, which might just include a very special performance (can anyone say Scratch Pack)…

Always Live

After ten minutes, I reach an obvious conclusion… DJ Legend sizzles… Callahan’s upstairs was crushed… From the entrance to the dance floor, the bunnies were copious… And when Legend spun “Don’t Stop Believing,” they exploded…

Upon my exit, I encounter Callahan’s Owner Jeff Lauback, an exemplary individual… We discuss the concert (which he also attended) and the previously mentioned rooftop patio, which he assures me will open in early June.

Crawl For Cancer

Since it’s inception, the Crawl For Cancer has raised thousands of dollars in aid. Columbus’ Crawl for Cancer will occur May 30. Other Crawl cities include Austin, Denver, Houston, Kansas City, Miami, Minneapolis, New York City, Oklahoma City, Pittsburgh, St. Louis, and Washington D.C.

Over the next month, Gossip CBUS will have information and interviews, as we count down to this amazing event.

Five, Fun, & Fantastic

St. Patrick’s Day is unique… Before you reactively agree with or roll your eyes at that statement, consider the obvious… On the Saturday proceeding New Year’s Eve, venues do not host events and label the activities “Pre-Ball Drop Day.”

Given the aforesaid, I moderated my expectations prior to Tuesday evening… Saturday was St. Practice Day… Monday was Pre-Patty Day and both evenings were very well attended… It’s Tuesday, we’re approaching the middle of the work week when our minds mush and our focus evaporates and a hangover is not the obvious injection… As I walked Park Street toward Callahan’s, I knew the Irish themed venue would host a crowd… However, my expectations for the evening were tempered…

Callahan’s quickly made me rethink my tempered expectations… As I said, I knew the venue would have a crowd (It’s name is Callahan’s and it’s St. Patrick’s Day)… With that said, the bar was crushed, the energy was intense, and the cluster of green clad bunnies was exquisite… Bunnies munching pizza and dancing… Bunnies who used their Coach purses to match their outfits… The clusters were scrumptious….

They paled in comparison (I can’t believe I am saying this) to the experience I would have minutes later, when I encountered DJ Legend… Now, I had met DJ Legend previously, and he is an outstanding individual… However, I had no clue that he would score me complete access to the venue (which I had never been in and I appreciated)…

We walked up the stairs and a moment later, I was in Callahan’s immaculate top floor club… I can just imagine what the venue resembles on a Friday night when Legend is at the top of his game… We walk through the club and outside onto a rooftop, which apparently, will be converted into a rooftop club… (How sick is that?)… As nearly thirty minutes passed, we stood atop that roof, discussing all manner of promotions… simply two power players looking out onto our city…

Following that conversation, I darted across the street to Park Street Patio, which finally resembled it’s name with a shrunken indoor crowd, a stellar outdoor crowd, and an outstanding DJ spinning in open air… The energy was slightly relaxed and the communal experience of Park Street Patio was slightly less enthralling than the crushed cluster experience of Callahan’s… Yet, the atmosphere would easily trump what I would view later in the evening…

Additionally, (and I love this about the venue), you cannot ignore the excellent intrapersonal skills of Park Street Patio’s management… From Co-Owner Brian Swanson and Promotions Superstars Randy and Tori, the attention, the collegial interaction, is a benefit you cannot encounter at every venue… Especially Tori, a personal favorite, whose five minute conversation, you wish you could turn into fifty…

From Callahan’s crush and Park Street Patio’s community, I walked Vine Street into Lodge Bar and a complete surprise… Now, you read about Lodge Mardi Gras and I will personally divulge that they owned St. Practice Day… But, their crowd on Tuesday, didn’t net them the top of the medal stand… In fact, it was in a fist fight for the lowest spot on the medal stand…

Lodge Bar was busy… The bunnies were copious… and the favorites (with the exception of the Crown Princess) were working, but the energy, the overall encompassing vibe which Lodge has previously produced was absent… It is as simple as this… Lodge Mardi Gras was equivalent to Usain Bolt’s one hundred meter final… Tuesday night resembled a qualifying heat…

I will compliment Lodge Bar on their excellent choice of music however… Featuring a diverse set list and impressive crowd interaction, the Bling Crosby’s were worth every moment spent at the venue… The two man venue is not unlike some acts that have been featured at Lodge… With that said, their individuality made them an act worth mentioning… (Their debut CD drops soon, I will let you know if I get a chance to react)…

A venue not worth attending, mentioning, and I assume, for them, not worth opening on this evening was the Frog Bear and Wild Boar, which conceded the lackluster evening prior to midnight… When I arrived at the fourth of five venues, the lights were on, the chairs were on the tables, and the evening was over… I don’t know why people didn’t come out to the Arena District on this evening…

People did more than come out to McFadden’s… They mashed the venue… As I walked South Campus toward the location, the upstairs and downstairs patios were crushed, making me elated that I selected McFadden’s as my final experience… The craziness I expected from their day’s worth of events and the updates I had been receiving throughout the evening did justice to the madness which was still rocking as I arrived…

The split level energy was unbelievable… Downstairs, the DJ and the dance floor displayed the energy you crave from campus… Upstairs, the band (whose name escapes me at the moment, thus, if they are reading this, I apologize), owned the conversation with an eclectic set list that included “Peaches” and “Under the Bridge.” While I have heard both college and rock sound in this city, I have not encountered the charismatic force which was displayed by this band… They were stellar…

Equally stellar was the complete chaos and the bunnies encircling it… From a drunken Lucky Charm Sytease to Allie, to the always delectable Emily Rose, to the scores of bunnies that were rocking the dance floor, McFadden’s concluded my evening as it had commenced, as it should always conclude and commence, with a bunny crawl…

Five venues, 2.20 miles traveled, a hundred hands shaken, two hundred friends or acquaintances encountered, five hundred or more bunnies, and a thousand random drunken details… Simply stated, the reality crushed the expectations…

St. Patrick’s Day 2009: Callahan’s

“Three DJ’s, Two Floors of Fun”

Commencement: 11:30 a.m.

Venue: Callahan’s (520 Park Street)

Wearing O’ the Green Contest (Cash Prize)

Green Beer

Lunch Buffet
Corned Beef & Cabbage
Mini Reubens