Sugar Bar Makes Their Critics

In every law student’s initial class, an imperative and unsophisticated lesson is learned. Do not make the opponent’s case for them…

Theoretically, the Undone Lingerie Fashion Show was this evening’s subject. When I arrived, Sugar Bar’s crowd appeared energized for the exhibition. The couch klatch, dance floor, and upper mezzanine were swarmed… DJ Samurai was sizzling… And the platinum bunnies were copious…

Whether they were wearing a rainbow top with white jeans, scattered blue with dark jeans, or a gold sequin dress, the panorama and another event (which we will discuss momentarily) reminded me of Sugar Bar’s allure… They reminded me of the initial evening I ventured into the venue exactly six months ago…

This is the moment, within this column and history; that time travel occurs… From 1977-1980, Steve Rubell operated this nation’s premiere venue… Studio 54 was decadent, outlandish, and unpredictable… Celebrities craved access… Patrons craved entrance… Rubell provided surprise after spectacle for both…

Within this city, Chris Corso is Rubell. Sugar Bar is Studio 54. Yet, neither has ever attempted their potential. As I observed cash floating from the ceiling, I silently questioned why this was not an every evening occurrence. I silently questioned when this would reoccur. I silently questioned what the value was in the abhorrence I had witnessed moments earlier.

Remember I commenced this column theoretically… The Undone Lingerie Fashion Show was cancelled… The Giovanni Body Art Show occurred as scheduled… Seven naked attention whores, clad only in color, grinding and shaking as if they were platinum bunnies… Someone should remind them they are putrid excrement…

I know I said this concerning another subject, but it’s worth rephrasing… If you’re performing “body art,” you should wear a sign which reads stupid… You may as well pain pathetic trash across your chest… Because that is what you are… Pathetic trash… Your actions clearly crave attention, which makes you pathetic… Your actions indicate that you have zero respect for yourself, which makes you trash…

Whenever Corso is criticized, the opposition is viewpoint is universal… Corso’s venues promote trash… They recruit trash… They showcase trash… Tonight, Corso provided his critics with every “I told you so” they ever wanted…

Personalities Salvage Pathetic, Weak T’s

Every column and every evening is a study is personality. Behavior can be evaluated and observed. Character can be equaled and scrutinized. Traits can be examined and inspected. Qualities can be compared and contrasted.

Upon my arrival for the Park Street Festival Kick Off, the weather was ominous. Every chair and table were occupied. A swarm encircled the area immediately prior to the stage… Still, everyone focused one of their eyes on their conversation or the stage and one of their eyes on the sky, which simultaneously taunted the mass with inciting clouds and inviting sunshine…

Approximately ten minutes after my arrival, I encounter Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar Co-Owner Chris Corso… And any thoughts I had concerning the weather were rapidly abandoned as a conversation that was equal measures awkward, entertaining, and intelligent commenced… (Trust me when I say cringed and smiled simultaneously several times)…

While the Park Street Festival and Social Room are discussed, the majority of our conversation references Corso’s work philosophy (he doesn’t believe the hours spent inside his venues are work… That must be nice) and the male anatomy (I’m not expanding upon that and don’t ask)… In this website’s existence, Corso and I have had fifty conversations, but until this one, I never truly appreciated the paradox of his personality… He is a brazen cross between Gordon Gekko and Kid Rock…

Amidst Corso and I’s conversation, Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar Co-Owner Mike Gallicchio arrives. Corso alone is a venerable verbal opponent… Corso and Gallicchio as a tandem are enough to make even the most gifted of gabbers sit down and sob… They are the Hollywood Blondes with business acumen… They are Money Incorporated with insightful sarcasm…

As Gallicchio and I discuss the Social Room, the venue’s appearance on another website is broached (and no, I’m not mentioning the other website on this website)… Gallicchio mentions the link was lifted from his facebook page… I ask why aren’t we friends on facebook… He states he must be selective about his friends and Corso retorts that Gallicchio is selective, which is why his facebook includes 800 friends… The three of us exchange glances and laughs… Obviously, we are friends… But friendship is not immunity from mockery…

With split skies still overhead, the Plain White T’s took the stage. Now, I’ve overestimated certain acts previously and I will confess that this city’s taste remains a partial mystery… However, I expected the Plain White T’s would excel with Park Street Patio’s intimate exterior stage… I want everyone who has ever or will ever send me a critical response to read this (as I am only typing this once)… I was wrong again….

The Plain White T’s commenced their four song set with “1, 2, 3, 4” and they concluded with “Hey There Delilah.” None of the quintet ever appeared comfortable… They never appeared enthusiastic… And the lead singer appeared twice as if he wanted to cease playing and exit the premises… I was certain that the acoustic nature of their music would blend brilliantly with the crowd… Instead, the crowd treated the Plain White T’s as if they were simply five teenagers in plain white t-shirts playing for prom money….

As I said on twitter, if Thursday’s crowd was any indication, Friday’s concert will not be sold out… Also (and I am hoping this remains untrue), if Thursday’s crowd was any indication, Park Street Festival could be a disappointment…

Since I mentioned the Park Street Festival, I enjoyed a ten-minute conversation with Park Street Patio Promotions Superstar Tori Lioness, who appeared scrumptious in a simple white top with jeans… I will say and I assume she would as well… This weekend has to be one of the highlights of the summer calendar… Yet, she will be elated when it concludes…

I cannot conclude this column without mentioning Park Street Patio’s cupcake collection, which could rival any drink slinging contingent in this city… Jamie Precious, a platinum bunny with a matching personality, is their perfect personification… She is adorable and alluring… Entertaining and exquisite… (And she isn’t the only one)…

As I walked Park Street at the conclusion of my evening, I strode with conflicting thoughts… This city ignored another significant act… Yet, I knew this column would read significantly positive… Another study in the behavior, character, qualities, and traits that comprise my evenings.

Gossip Awards Announce Corso & Gallichio

Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar Co-Owners Chris Corso and Mike Gallichio will present at the first annual Gossip Awards. Since 1998, Corso and Gallicchio have owned and revolutionized city nightlife. Their previous ventures included Long Street Live, Mecca, Red Zone, and Spice Bar. Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar are two and three years old respectively.

BREAKING: Social Room Specifics

One week ago, Gossip CBUS received an exclusive tour of the Social Room. Presently in the permit process, the Social Room will include an enclosed patio, multiple bars, and an upstairs. The city’s initial member’s only venue will be completed and open this fall.

While membership will not be limited, membership will cost $29.95 per month. Members must also be no less than an acquaintance of the venue’s ownership.

Since 1998, Chris Corso and Mike Gallicchio have owned and revolutionized city nightlife. Their previous ventures included Long Street Live, Mecca, Red Zone, and Spice Bar. Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar are two and three years old respectively.

One Night in Sugar

Expectations are useful and unwanted. Expectations are adaptable, flexible, modifiable, and variable. They make one smarter. They make one stronger. They make defeats resemble victories. They make victories more substantial. How are expectations unwanted? Eventually, one’s moment occurs and expectations must be met…

For seven days, innuendo, rumor, and speculation swirled. Would Paris Hilton actually appear in Sugar Bar? I had complete confidence she would. Why was I so confident? Chris Corso, Mike Gallicchio, and Brian Swanson are not morons. They are not stupid. If Hilton’s appearance were merely a publicity stunt, forget figurative egg… Corso would be scraping omelet off of his face indefinitely…

With one hour remaining until Sugar Bar’s open, activity and energy were omnipresent. Whenever I am asked my favorite aspect of this website, I never hesitate… The hours prior to open and subsequent to close are my favorite… The bunnies and bunny chasers never witness these hours…. They never witness (unless they have worked in a venue) the hours of prepping or concluding a venue requires…

As drink slingers and servers placed bottles onto tables, security mentally prepared, and sound was checked, Gallicchio and Swanson paced with anticipation. Their demeanor and dialogue was an intricate mixture of accomplishment, cockiness, and nervous energy… Would Hilton produce the crowd? Would the crowd arrive earlier? Would the evening equal previous iconic escapades?

I know I’ve mentioned Swanson previously, but inevitably, he is an annotation when I discuss Corso and Gallicchio. Why is this? Corso and Gallicchio’s persona scream millionaire moguls… Swanson’s persona suggests your high school classmate, who always strode with assurance because he knew the proposition was not if, but when he would succeed. Corso and Gallicchio made nightlife in this city, but Swanson is equally relevant… He is the street credibility of the trio…

Approximately one hour into the evening, one of my previous questions was answered… The crowd maintained this city’s reputation for tardiness… On the sidewalk, Gallicchio prowled as if he were a Royal Bengal Tiger… His eyes were intense… His face was expressionless… By eleven p.m. on the night of Donnie Wahlberg’s appearance, Sugar Bar was crushed… By eleven p.m. on this night, one could dribbled a basketball comfortably through the venue…

Thankfully, Sugar Bar Promotions Superstar Whitney Allure rescued the opening hours… You would assume I would have one evening where I encounter the precocious pop tart and cannot construct a paragraph… I’ve known her less than two weeks… That evening was not this evening, as via her personality and scrumptious black and sequined dress, Whitney once again ensorcelled my attention…

Ensnaring my attention for the polar opposite reason was the casting session for Freaks & Beef that Sugar Bar was hosting… I know I’ve typed several scorching sentences about heifers and I promise I will type some more… But, I must cuddle another controversy and discuss the transvestite collection which was present this evening… I want to say this before you even type word one, let alone sentence one, of your e-mails… I have no objection to an alterative lifestyle…

However, transvestite is not an alternative lifestyle… Men wearing dresses (as several did this evening) or women wearing men’s clothing is not appropriate… Ken transforming himself into Barbie doesn’t make Ken a special subset of people worthy of equal rights… It makes him weird… Every moment the abhorrent green and gold dress wearing perversion crept near me this evening was a moment when I considered leaping from Sugar Bar’s balcony onto the dance floor…

I promised I would return to my favorite piñata and the heifers were prevalent amidst the platinum bunnies tonight… I realize every crowd cannot be composed solely of muffins and some evenings, an even equation is a victory… But, Sugar Bar’s crowds have crossed the sixty-forty parallel and are flirting with seventy-thirty… Is Sugar Bar the official venue for those who haven’t heard the words calorie count or can we correct this?

At approximately 12:30, I encountered Park Street Patio Promotions Superstar Tori Lioness, who informed me that Hilton would not be arriving until one a.m. Thirty seconds and less than fifteen steps after those words were spoken, I was walking the edge of the venue’s dance floor when Hilton strutted past me…

Dressed in royal blue with a matching headband and showcasing enough diamonds to purchase several sections of this city (as well as city center for the purpose of turning it into her dog’s new home), Hilton was escorted into the balcony by a phalanx of security that would have made any elected official in any state or city jealous… Six security personnel and a trio of police…

As Hilton ascended into the balcony, an anticipated and anxious throng followed (and was of course refused entrance into the balcony by security)… Moments subsequent, I encountered the throng personally when Avi Primetime, Shawn Money, and I sought our spots above the dance floor… Avi was in front of me with a hand on my shoulder… Shawn was behind me with a hand in my back… We squeezed our way through the clamoring hoard and after one moment of walking stairs arrived in Paris’ perch…

And allow me to state that the seconds I was squeezed through the clamoring hoard were completely worth it… Above the dance floor was an unequaled compilation of empire and platinum bunny perfection… Corso, Gallicchio, Swanson, Randy Haffey, Tori, Shawn, Avi, and Paris Hilton… I know I’ve compared this city’s nightlife with the circus, but that comparison was marginal until this evening… Above the dance floor, I was now part of the collection in the center ring…

Within ten minutes of my entrance into the balcony, Hilton assumed the microphone and spoke with her typical tandem of instigative playfulness… She then swallowed a shot, took pictures of the crowd on the floor, danced with her boyfriend (was anyone even noticing he was there), danced with herself, and sat atop the rail… With her back to the potential peril, Hilton appeared placid and provocative, openly flirting with those who could not garner entrance into her paradise…

If asked (and I don’t know this personally, but everything I’ve read suggests it), Hilton will tell you that she craves the camera and that she makes the cameras crave her… Both were true this evening… Her antics entranced and invited digital flashes and those digital flashes outnumbered the amount of people staring toward the balcony…

Amidst the crush of digital flashes, Corso approached and requested vindication… The conversation I will keep private, but the subtext was that Hilton had appeared, even though this city had doubted his ability to produce this result… I will retype what I told him and also twittered… Chris, I make it a point never to doubt the king…

As her night concluded, Hilton appeared dissimilar to the decadent debutante, who had entered the balcony only ninety minutes earlier… Seated upon a couch, her boyfriend’s arm around her, Hilton was withdrawn… She smoked a cigarette… She pressed her hands to her face… She appeared at multiple points to cry…

At approximately two a.m., Hilton surrounded herself with security and walked the stairs toward the exit… As she passed the balcony bar, the upstairs drink slinger snapped a pair of pictures and Hilton disappeared into the stairwell… Her hyped and hyperbole visit to this city concluded with only pictures as proof she was ever present…

In the exhilaration of their triumph, Corso, Gallicchio, and Swanson celebrated and conversed with clutches, as their venue was cleaned… Despite incomprehensible expectations, the trio once again, shut up and put their money where their mouth was… Today, the expectations will alter, as the trio shakes this conquest from their memories…

BREAKING: Corso & Gallicchio Concoct Boldest Venture

The Social Room, Chris Corso and Mike Gallicchio’s newest and most intriguing concept, will reside between Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar. According to sources familiar with the project, this city’s initial member’s only venue will open this fall. And membership will be limited.

Since 1998, Corso and Gallicchio have owned and revolutionized city nightlife. Their previous ventures included Long Street Live, Mecca, Red Zone, and Spice Bar. Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar are two and three years old respectively.

Cool Kids, Sugar Bar Enjoy, Exude “It”

When I am writing, I know when I have it. When I enter a venue, I know if they have it. It is exclusive, incomprehensible, unequaled ability.

Upon my arrival at Sugar Bar, I knew they had it. The venue was crushed. It’s not as if I hadn’t ventured into the venue, past the awaiting masses previously. However, tonight’s awaiting masses consumed half a block. They occupied a complete sidewalk, a partial sidewalk, and an alley.

Inside Sugar Bar, the crowd was equally impressive. The lower mezzanine and dance floor were crushed. The couch klatch was swarmed. As I have said, Sugar Bar’s best nights are defined through impassability and this evening once again reaffirmed that formula… If one entered and immediately settled upon a prime dance floor position, they should not sacrifice it…

Amidst observing this crush, I spoke with several Sugar Bar superstars and the topic most broached was why this evening exceeded the previous evening… Everyone agreed the weather was the principal reason… However, two other possible factors surprised me… Wednesday night was blamed (as if to compensate for the promoters) and the popularity of the Cool Kids over Fall Out Boy was highlighted… Fall Out Boy is a Grammy nominated group with three Hot 100 singles… The Cool Kids are two artists with a My Space page… You explain it…

One aspect, which required zero explanation, was the dance floor, which was crushed from commencement to conclusion… From the stage, which alternated bunny clutches seemingly every five minutes to several corners to the railing below the upper mezzanine… The energy, exuded by the bunnies and stimulated by the bunny chasers, was palpable…

Since I mentioned bunnies, the population of the primping sex was extremely scattered… Everyone’s heard that phrase that includes the words “there is a fine line between…” Tonight, there wasn’t a fine line… There was a gorge which required air travel… The contrast between the bunnies and their potentially branded cattle opposites was striking…

The bunnies who were present were spectacular… The silver charm bunny, clad in a shimmering black and ice dress, who I saw dancing in a minimum of three locations… The pair of blue bunnies who owned the upper mezzanine’s cage… The stripes over teal bunny, who appeared on the stage twice… The off white bunny, who danced close enough below the mezzanine that I could touch her…

Each were exemplary… Unfortunately, their counterparts were as random as the musical selections of DJ EV (I’ll return to him in a moment)… The heifers were not apocryphal… They were not hideous as the previous evening… They simply stole attention from the clutches where the attention should have been… They sought the spotlight, when the spotlight had settled upon someone else…

Speaking of the spotlight and a spotlight stealer… Throughout the evening, Sugar Bar flirted with their Donnie Wahlberg attendance… As I listened to music, I wondered how… DJ EV was mixing and spinning the most random mess since John McCain and Sarah Palin… Seventies songs… Eighties songs… “First of the Month” as a dance song… This only succeeds if the dance includes several shots at shot range…

Approximately midnight, the Cool Kids and their entourage arrived… Exactly as Fall Out Boy only twenty-four hours earlier, the duo was interactive and relaxed… They consumed alcohol, they grinded on bunnies, they toasted each other, they grinded on more bunnies… The duo never considered for a moment that they were the superstars… They simply devoured the adulation and attention…

Adulation and attention which emanated from the bunnies and bunny chasers which crushed the floor and the lower mezzanine and from the Cool Kid’s entourage, who took over the upper mezzanine… If Fall Out Boy enjoyed every moment of their interaction with this city, the Cool Kids enjoyed every second and they likely could have enjoyed additional hours…

While the ease of the Cool Kids’ crowd interaction slightly surprised me, their wardrobes surprised no one… A Detroit Pistons last decade “Bad Boys” shirt… An old Cleveland Cavaliers logo hat… An old Cleveland Cavaliers logo shirt… Four Cleveland Indians hats, each of which had a different logo… The ensembles were unsurprising and yet shocking simultaneously….

Now, I expect random and potentially ridiculous fashion from rappers… However, the frequency of this city’s random and overtly ridiculous fashion is nauseating me… Columbus needs a stylist… We need someone outside the entrance of every venue, who can be responsible for advising those who should have stepped outside their door, let alone attempted entry into a nightclub….

Since citywide stylists are likely an impossibility, allow me to craft some rules (and please pay attention)… If the outfit contains a sports logo more than three years old, do not wear it… If the outfit is a woefully out of date style, do not wear it… If the answer to the question, would my mother wear this, is yes, do not wear it… Do not, do not, do not wear any item that slips into one of these three categories (and honestly, there are another dozen categories that I could name, but I don’t have that kind of time)…

With inside one hour remaining until the venue closed, Kid Cudi stepped to the microphone… His words were not monumental… His words were more like a checklist to induce sound… Shout Out Lebron James (check)… Say you love Ohio (check)… Throw in some references that most won’t understand, such as a Honda Accord (check)… Scream (check)… Make the audience scream (double check)…

Cudi’s ambition was not a memorable sound bite… Cudi’s words were simply an appearance requirement… He appeared much more comfortable singing and grinding on one of the Sugar Bar dancers, who intriguingly was dressed in camouflage for the evening…

As Cudi spoke, the audience appeared only semi-interested… They continued their conversations… Some snapped pictures… But, the swarm of digital flashes was nothing when compared with Wahlberg… On that evening, the audience could have permanently blinded a herd of moose with their cameras… On this evening, the brightness was merely a momentary distraction…

With approximately fifteen minutes remaining in the evening, Sugar Bar Owner Chris Corso and Promotions Superstar Tori made their appearances… Dressed in elegant black and white, Tori appeared worth her typical eighteen carats… We hugged and shared our first conversation in two months… It didn’t take a conversation to remind me why I adore this bunny… Tori is the conversation you wait your evening for and the friend you wait your life for…

As electricity slowly scattered the intoxicated from their grinding into the night air, I stood in upper mezzanine, staring toward the vacant dance floor… Only moments prior, that dance floor and this venue had it… They already want it back…

I Stood Five Feet From Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Column

Prominence is important. Proximity to prominence is imperative. Not everyone can be prominent. Not everyone can possess access or contacts. Befriending someone of prominence, ingratiating yourself within their circle, affords importance, opportunity, and reputation. (And before anyone writes complaining that the title insults Fall Out Boy, Sugar Bar, or the evening, the title is a play on a Fall Out Boy song)…

Within thirty minutes of my arrival (some of which was twittered, some of which was not), Park Street Patio and Sugar were swarmed with stars… The Famed Four, Co-Owners Chris Corso, Mike Gallichio, and Brian Swanson and Promotions Superstar Randy Haffey were expected… R Bar Co-Owners Mike and Natalie Darr, who were seated at a table in the lower mezzanine, were not… McFadden’s General Manager Damien Fuller, who was enjoying a drink, was not…

Also not expected was Onyx Promotions Superstar and Nightlife Notable Randee, who I encountered as she stood flummoxed, unable to cross between venues… Why was she unable to cross? Sugar’s security person was carrying out his assignment (also known as acting like an…)… Randee and I spoke for five minutes, as she waited, discussing her upcoming Models and Moguls event, Onyx Thursday and Saturday evenings, and city buzz…

Finally, she was allowed to traverse the hallway between Sugar Bar and Park Street Patio… I’ll return to discussing her in moments, but for this moment, let me address a previous sentence… Sugar Bar’s security people are professional and I understand they have responsibilities… However, people skills wouldn’t injure them and they aren’t that hard to master…

A craft which is hard to master is mixing… However, Gonzo has succeeded… I encountered the national sensation in Park Street Patio, as he celebrated his nationwide syndication and prepared for the other half of the Fall Out Boy After Party… Gonzo’s peppiness, which normally can exhaust red bull, was obvious this evening… It’s not as if anyone ever questioned his talent, but this announcement (which you can read above if you haven’t already) was validation he has always deserved…

After twenty minutes of watching Gonzo dart between activities and darting between activities myself, DJ Triple A, Randee, and myself convened below Park Street Patio’s stage… Intermittently, Gonzo joined the conversation as we discussed the evening and various venues… I’m certain I’ve said this previously, but if I haven’t I should have… The access to these conversations, the camaraderie between the Generation 1 a.m. working set is the only reward I will ever require from this occupation…

Speaking of rewards, the Ultimate Vodka Party was a perfect diversion as both Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar awaited Fall Out Boy’s arrival. I was told (and I cant imagine this is true) that the Ultimate Vodka Party was the evening’s attraction, that Pete Wentz and company were merely an occurrence… I assume some of the venue superstars who I have mentioned appeared strictly for research… Yet, I can’t fathom someone planning their evening out around an alcohol and not a celebrity…

What I also can’t fathom is doughnut holes, an item which cost $2.50 (not $1.77 as I twittered), as a venue desert item… Apparently, Corso can… We sample the moist morsels, which are scrumptious (would I pay what he wants to charge, likely not) and discuss the NBA and NHL playoffs… In his estimation, the Detroit Red Wings win game seven over Anaheim…

In my estimation, this crowd was not Sugar Bar’s most iconic… I twittered every second of Brody Jenner and Donnie Wahlberg’s appearances… Jenner’s included marginally passable walkways and limited dance floor and mezzanine space…. Wahlberg’s crushed every area with only a minimal walkway on the stairs… Tonight, the upper mezzanine and couch area were swarmed… The lower mezzanine and dance floor were merely buzzed…

Now, I know what you’re thinking… I’m not using the word crushed, because I am judging Sugar Bar on the basis of those other two events… I am and I won’t apologize for this… The thing about expectations is that when you perform well, they increase and you have to match them… Why not simply decrease expectations? Because that’s not the way expectations work… Performers who perform must perform or sentences as were typed above get typed…

Am I labeling Sugar Bar’s evening a failure? I am not… I am simply stating the obvious… This crowd did not match previous productions and thus, did not meet expectations… The evening was exemplary… It was one worthy of praise and a lengthy column (which you are reading right now)… However, Jenner topped other nights and Walhberg topped Jenner… This topped neither…

Following two hours, one hundred stars, and a dozen scary heifers (we’ll talk crowd composition shortly, I know you’re awaiting my opinion), Fall Out Boy arrived… Unlike Jenner and Walhberg, the crowd didn’t suffocate them… A Secret Service phalanx wasn’t required… I attribute this to Fall Out Boy’s appearance (if you have ever seen them, they blend into their generation comfortably) and their affability with the crowd…

Jenner adored the attention, but still set himself apart… Kourtney Kardashian could have not spoken to a single person and been thrilled… Fall Out Boy mingled, they danced, they didn’t appear to be genuinely enjoying themselves, they were genuinely enjoying themselves… They are and were twenty-five plus year old males with influence, money, and power… And yet they acted as if they were four twenty-five plus year old males who would attend class at Ohio State this morning…

I promised we’d discuss crowd composition and I want to state right now, before you continue reading, that I may offend anyone even if you aren’t one of the people I directly reference… Wednesday’s crowd possessed some bunnies and they were gorgeous…. Unfortunately, the bulk (and the use of that word is intentional) of the crowd was heifers… And I’m not talking the heifers who I usually assail… I’m talking heifers large enough to feed third world nations for decades, five of which, three in black, one in teal, and one in blue, could have formed an offensive line that any running back could have hidden behind for months…

They crowded Sugar Bar’s stage and turned it from normal paradise to nauseatingly putrid… The invaded the cage, grinding their flab until I wanted to puke… They plagued the dance floor and walkway, dancing and pretending as if no one could see them… I saw them… I assume everyone saw them and the image is enough to fill a half dozen trashcans with vomit… And that’s prior to anyone having even a sip of alcohol…

I know what I’ve said isn’t polite and if you abhorred that, you’ll loathe this… Don’t these plus size porpoises realize the obvious as they sit in front of their mirrors? Don’t they realize as they view all of their repulsiveness in their mirror that they have no friends for a reason… That their phones never ring for a reason… I have said it previously, I will say it again, heifers have a right to a social life, but why must they exercise this right? Why must they put us through this horror?

Life isn’t only for the gorgeous… And I’m sure I will have a volume of e-mail because of the last three paragraphs… But, I’m merely speaking honesty to obesity… The heifers I witnessed on this evening should comprehend why they were high school pariahs, college pariahs, and why they remain pariahs… Personality counts only in the case that appearance opens the door… I’m assuming these heifers have had more than a few doors slammed in their faces…

I had zero expectations as Pete Wentz entered the booth for his spin set at approximately one a.m. Obviously, he can write a song… He can play a song… But, could he equal the skills of DJ Samurai or Gonzo…. Would he even attempt this? As Wentz assumed control of the music, he wasn’t starved for attention… Every set of eyes in the venue, from the couch to the mezzanine to the floor was on him…

Now, I mentioned that this crowd was not equivalent to Wahlberg’s crush… What I did not mention was that has it’s advantages… Specifically, I was able to, with relative ease, traverse from the upper mezzanine to the right side of the booth, a simple jump from Wentz… The energy and the visual around him were incredible… I’ve always said that I judge a venue on energy, not on overall crowd size… The energy surrounding Wentz was exemplary…

If only the same could be said for his spinning precision… His song selection was spectacular... “Wonderwall,” “Don’t Stop Believing,” “99 Problems...” He had the crowd frenzied… With that said, I am an untrained evaluator and thus I sought several opinions when the performance concluded… The consensus of those who know what they are speaking of is that Wentz is a great celebrity and a lousy DJ…

As the evening concluded, Gonzo and I sat on the stage in Park Street Patio… This night for various persons and various reasons was triumphant… Not everyone could be considered a sweetheart and some (as I have typed) needed to simply drop dead… But, on this rare occasion, everyone was within steps of someone superior… Everyone, for a few hours, enjoyed proximately to prominence…

Always Live

Upon my arrival at Park Street Patio, the entrance was crushed. Other venues were scarcely able to acquire an indoor crowd by 10:00. Park Street Patio had three dozen people outside waiting to matriculate indoors… Watching them wait were Co-Owners Chris Corso and Brian Swanson, who stood in the open air marveling at their success…

Standing inside Park Street Patio was Promotions Superstar Randy Haffey, who was also satisfied with the visual. We discussed the crowd for a moment (and only for a moment, as I truly had no comprehension of it’s size) and then our conversation redirected into the Park Street Festival, which will occur June 12-13. Activities will include a Bike Fest, the Kid’s Fair, and A Taste of the North Market. Candlebox, Dot Dot Dot, Downplay, Lovesick Radio, Saving Jane, the 17th Floor, and the Bourban Kings will perform.

When Haffey and I’s conversation concluded, I traversed toward the open air. From the backstairs of Park Street Patio, I witnessed an unimaginable scene. The venue was crushed. Every chair and table were occupied and three dozen conversations were occurring in the walkways (seemingly all in front of me)… It took me twenty minutes to walk from the stairs to the exit, where I encountered Corso again… Our thoughts were synchronized… Officially, it’s bunny season…

Always Live

Five minutes after my arrival at Sugar Bar, I encounter Owner Chris Corso, encircled within a quartet of bunnies (two of which were platinum blonde)… As one speaks with Corso, one easily surmises that his interests are not momentary… Our conversation covers the city, the post bricks revitalization, and both of our futures…

Speaking of ranging conversations, I encounter Randy Haffey at Park Street Patio… He and I discuss a pair of major upcoming events… The appearances of Frankie Delgado (April 30) and Pete Wentz (May 13).

Always Live

Following the Blue Jackets second consecutive calamity, I encounter Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar Co-Owners Chris Corso and Mike Gallichio. Corso and I speak, on the bricks, before and after Fleetwood Mac. Gallichio, his wife, and I speak, as I walk toward Callahan’s.

Corso’s conversation is intriguing. We discuss the concert (Stevie Nicks was impressive) and Co-owner Brian Swanson’s birthday party. Gallichio’s conversation is much more animated. As per usual, he urges coverage for his venues, equal to the coverage I provide other venues… Hey Mike, what were those five words?

Always Live Postponed

Always Live should have started tonight. Unfortunately, this gossip needs their sleep. Always Live will commence tomorrow with Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar Co-Owners Chris Corso and Brian Swanson, Lodge Bar General Manager Pat West, Crown Princess Kadi, DJ Legend, and Arena District drama…

Bottle It Up

I’ve attended Sugar Bar on iconic nights… I twittered every second of Brody Jenner’s visit… I’ve attended other venues on iconic nights… Let me say this in capital terms… I have never experienced anything close to what I experienced Friday evening…

Prior to my arrival at Sugar Bar, I had expectations for the evening… As I said, I attended Jenner’s appearance… However, I had zero comprehension of what awaited me, as I walked the concrete from the Frog Bear and Wild Boar to Sugar Bar… Upon my arrival, one fact was immediately obvious… This was not Jenner’s appearance…

I walked the entrance carpet and through the doors, arriving below upper mezzanine, adjacent from the coat check area… As I said on twitter, the only appropriate word was wow… The couch area was crawling… The stairs held a slight path… However, the upper and lower mezzanine and the dance floor was crushed… Not crushed as in the typical sense… Not crushed as in you could barely walk toward the bathroom or the stage or another area… Crushed as in completely impassable…

With fifteen minutes until Donnie Wahlberg’s appearance (he was apparently running slightly behind schedule), I settled to the left of the upper mezzanine, where Chris Corso, Mike Gallichio, Brian Swanson, Gonzo, and two dozen bunnies were roped off inside the evening’s prime piece of real estate… I debated in my mind, text someone, let them know I am here… I knew if they knew I had arrived, I would end up in that real estate…

Approximately, five minutes after that thought traversed its way through my mind, I spotted Gallichio walking past me… We hugged… We shared a quick exchange… He exited, he returned, and not ten minutes after I had desired entrance, I gained entrance… Upper mezzanine, inside the ropes, with the crème de la crème of city nightclub society…

As I settled myself within the mezzanine, it didn’t take seconds to realize this was location… It didn’t take seconds to realize that anyone of the thousand screaming masses on the floor or behind the ropes would trade places with me in a second… Swanson and I talked… Corso and I talked… Amidst the multiple digital flashes and the crush, it wasn’t lost on any of us that we were the envied…

It also wasn’t lost on anyone that Gonzo had made his triumphant return to Sugar Bar… I know I’ve discussed Gonzo previously, but all prior words now seem inadequate… From the moment I walked into upper mezzanine, you could tell that Gonzo was within ecstasy… Spitting perfect phrases, texting, talking, enjoying the music… Gonzo owned the initial portion of the evening… I’ve said this before, I will say this again… When you have the chance to listen to an artist with passion… Savor it… There is nothing better in this world…

Speaking of master craftsman, DJ Samurai was completing the tone for the evening… From throwing a remix beat under “Creep” and “Lose Your Love” to, for the second straight night (although by another artist), throwing a dance beat under “Wonderwall,” DJ Samurai was incomprehensible… Dancing to his talent seemed insufficient… You wanted to frame it and sell it at auction…

And the trio with enough money to buy it at auction were standing inches from me in upper mezzanine… With smiles of satisfaction on their faces (and they deserved them for the way the night was unfolding), Corso, Gallichio, and Swanson chatted with other fortunate mezzanine mavens and stared into the throng of people, stirring with anticipation for Wahlberg’s arrival…

Forget anxiety or worry over how the night would progress…. From the moment I arrived, it was clear the titan trinity was celebrating their success… Every glance from them, every handshake with them was an affirmation… In Gallichio’s case, it was a admonition… Make sure Saturday’s column equals the majesty of this evening (I’ll return to that subject shortly)…

Finally, Donnie Wahlberg, flanked by security that would made have made glass case enclosed items jealous, arrived… Wearing jeans and a jacket, with a hat, and a bandana around his neck, he personified the street wise heartthrob that bunnies spent the better part of their adolescence fawning over… He was only inside Sugar Bar for ten minutes before stepping to the microphone…

Back dropped by a crush of bunnies, two of which were holding signs that read “Get at Me” and “Dew Me,” and eyeing a swarm of digital flashes, that would have made the Super Bowl’s opening kickoff jealous, he smiled and strutted and spoke and the bunnies swallowed every word twice… “I didn’t come to Columbus to sleep,” he implied… Trust me, no one was sleeping or dancing or taking their eyes off of the mezzanine while he was present…

The way that I know they weren’t is the crush intensified… The crush was unbelievable… In the upper mezzanine, feet from me, a rope line of five security guards, walled off heartbroken heifers, who holding cameras and pictures, were pleading for access… Alas, access, thanks to the granite wall, was denied…

The phenomenon was nothing I had ever witnessed… Jenner was famous and arguably more relevant given reality television’s success… Kirk Herbstreit is more notable within the city… Yet, he could freely walk without fear at Park Street Patio… Wahlberg was surrounded… As his presence in the venue continued, the swarm exploded… The chain grew to a sixth security guard on one side… Two security guards on the other and on the dance floor, no one was shaking their ass… Every eye was on Wahlberg…

As he took the microphone for a second time to announce that the New Kids on the Block will be returning to Columbus (the Full Service Tour) this summer, the digital flashes outnumbered the amount of people staring toward the stage (and there were at minimum a thousand people)… Wahlberg danced as the music returned… He was clearly consuming the attention….

Something else that was clear that Gonzo kept disappearing… After about an hour of watching him exit and enter the mezzanine, I discovered why… He had been seeking a song, a rare track, that Wahlberg would perform to later… Leave it to Gonzo to score huge on an already huge night… And leave it to the crowd to swell beyond what I ever conceived…

By the time Wahlberg was set to speak for the third of what turned out to be three occasions, there was literally no room to breathe at any point in Sugar Bar… The mezzanine had even engorged beyond capacity… As this occurred, my phone died, at a big event, yet again… I rapidly borrowed Gonzo’s phone to twitter a sign off, unaware of the spectacle which would ensue in heartbeats…

With microphone in hand and the music omnipresent, Walhberg strutted and straddled the line between showman and stuntman, as he performed “Full Service…” The throng was with him word for word… They were pitch perfect… He smiled, he soaked up the attention, and akin to a trapeze artist, he worked the cage bar as if it were a stripper pole… Swinging out, never making contact with the crowd, and returning… It was amazing…

As he exited the stage, encircled again by security, Wahlberg approached the ropes and was herded toward the exit… And the herd, which had crammed the outside mezzanine and the lower mezzanine and the dance floor, followed him… There was a literal stampede of people, who all night had begged for access into where I was standing… They were now chasing Wahlberg into the street… The sheer volume of the delirium of the heifers and the lengths they would go to for one minute with their idol made me wince… It also made me realize once again, why I love this website…

Throughout the night, the outsiders had begged for access, when I had access… They wanted to stand with Gonzo, talk with Gallichio, and be feet from Wahlberg… but I was… See the mistake everyone makes with this life is that it’s about joining the party… It’s not about joining the party… I’m part of the party and I can tell you, I don’t talk about the access or take the access because I want to say to someone, I’ve been here or done this… In the words of Wahlberg , “I do it for love…”

I also do it to say these five words to Gallichio (told you we’d return to his lobbying)… Your thoughts on the column?

Police Benefit From Spectacular Perfection

In Los Angeles, celebrities are omnipresent. They eat, drink, relax, and shop amongst ordinary citizens. They intermix with the everyday. In Columbus, our celebrities are fewer and much less casual. Jim Tressel rarely is seen enjoying dinner with his family. Les Wexner is never seen running everyday errands.

Prior to my arrival at Park Street Patio, I had mixed expectations for the Celebrity Bartender Competition. With five name city celebrities under one roof, how would the crowd react? How would the celebrities react? Would the energy disappear after the novelty wore off and we realized this was a one-time occurrence or would the digital flashes and energy resonate throughout the evening?

When I arrived, those questions seemed ridiculous. The energy was exquisite. Every bar seat was occupied. Every table was occupied. People were standing in the walkways, they were standing in the doorways… Clearly, the importance of this evening was apparent… Five celebrities, two of which would place on any top ten of the city’s elite, uniting to help those who protect and serve our city… The formula was perfect…

Also perfect and the reason I enjoy Park Street Patio (and of course, Sugar Bar) is the camaraderie I share with Owners Chris Corso and Mike Gallichio and Promotions Superstar Randy Haffey. Whether it was discussing next Wednesday’s Vivid Video event with Mike or Chris cracking jokes about how I spend my nights (although, I spend most of them in his venue) or Randy and I discussing how much he loves his job… The conversation and interaction are among the best I enjoy in this city… I know I write positively about these three all the time, but I must… They deserve it…

As the bartenders made their way through introductions, onto the floor, and inside the bar, one could sense the electric anticipation… Would they get the orders right? Would anyone break anything? How would they interact with customers? When the competition, which was less of a competition and more of a collaboration for charity (as it should be) commenced, the bar was swamped with people…

Celebrities, bartenders, bar backs… Instructions were quick… Orders were quicker… Jimmy Jam looked as though he had bartended his entire life… Within ten minutes, he was snapping off bottle caps as though this was his day job…. Kirk Herbstreit and Rick Nash were slightly slower… Not because they weren’t fast learners… Because everywhere they turned, a digital flash occurred… Someone asked them for a picture… Someone talked to them… In the first half hour, I think Herbstreit and Nash’s combined smiles outnumbered drinks poured… Obviously, they were the centers of attention…

Until the Pepsi Power Patrol walked onto the stage… The collection of red and blue bunnies, turned a jersey auction (which raised nearly $5000) into their own personal showcase… Forget that Herbstreit and Nash were bidding against each other for the jerseys… Forget that Corso spotlighted what an exemplary human being he is, by winning a jersey and donating it to a policeman (way to go Chris)… The half-dozen bunnies, notably Holly and Sarah, captured every eye and thought in the venue…

The combination of the Power Patrol, the Bartenders, Corso and company, the hundreds of flashes, and an excellent DJ separated this evening from any other I have enjoyed in this venue… April 2 was not the typical Thursday crowd which saunters into Park Street Patio seeking to relax with a beer and a basketball game… This crowd had a buzz (not just alcoholic)… Simply stated, when I cast my vote for Event of the Year… this is the evening…

As the evening concluded, Herbstreit and Nash continued their delightful relation with the assembled throng… Jimmy Jam, meanwhile, was clearly satisfied with his performance and seeking interaction of a different variety… As ten p.m. approached and the celebrities were officially cut, Jimmy Jam relocated himself to a table of bunnies… Relaxed and worn from the two hours, he appeared less as the person we hear every morning and more, the person we would encounter on a normal Thursday at Park Street…

Speaking of encounter… As midnight approached, I finally scored a conversation with Herbstreit and Nash… Before I say anything else, I must compliment their presence… Both were approachable and relatable… Particularly, Herbstreit, who clearly has not forgotten where he came from… Herbstreit, Nash, and I discussed this website, a possible interview, and when I discussed the Gossip Awards with Herbstreit, he mentioned a possible appearance… Whether or not this occurs, I want to personally thank Nash and Herbstreit for the time they allowed me… They are both outstanding individuals…

As I departed my three minutes of celebrity for other events and Herbstreit and Nash returned to their customer mingling (they stayed longer to continue raising money), I passed Holly, who had returned to the bar, having swapped the red and blue for a black and silver shirt and the perfect pair of jeans… She looked OUS (that would be gorgeous, luscious, scrumptious… Anything that ends in OUS)…

The celebrity bartender competition was not a success… Success implies pedestrian phrases such as a job well done… This was a titanic triumph… Haffey and all who participated should be proud of themselves… At a moment when police need our support more than ever in this city, Thursday showed them exactly what they are worth…

BREAKING: Spice Bar’s Brutal Assessment

On February 13, Gossip CBUS reported that Spice Bar would close this month. According to an employee familiar with the venue’s finances, how they remain open is a mystery.

“When we saw that report, we thought we were toast,” said the source, who spoke on condition of anonymity. “It’s not just what I’ve seen, it’s the crowds, its people who used to come here now go to Sugar or Brothers or Lodge. I’m waiting for the day I show up and the doors are locked. I cant imagine why it’s not happened.”

Given the current economic conditions, one could assume that lenient treatment or owner’s assets are sustaining Spice. Skye Bar enjoyed a similar arrangement prior to their close on January 15.

“Anything is possible,” said our source. “If you’re asking me, I cant say one way or the other, but my guess is something is being done. We aren’t the bar we were in 2006 or 2007. It’s not Chris [Corso] turning everything into gold around here. We’re in trouble. I know it. The street knows it. The city knows it. Its not if we close, its when.”

Originally developed by Sugar Bar Owners Chris Corso and Mike Gallicchio, the 6,290 square foot Spice Bar was purchased by BOMA Developer Tom Starker in October 2008. No one associated with Spice Bar could be reached for comment concerning this story.

One Exquisite Evening

In this city, there are hundreds of memorable nights and dozens of amazing nights. A spectacular night requires an extra element. Memorable nights and amazing nights have alcohol and anticipation, splendor and success… Yet, spectacular nights have that aspect memorable and amazing nights will never…

Upon my arrival at Sugar Bar, one could note the presence of said extra element (and if you don’t know the “element” I’m referencing, you’ve obviously taken up residence in an undisclosed location)… Three hours prior to the arrival of Brody Jenner, Park Street Patio (which really should be given the nickname of official pre-game location for Sugar weekends) was buzzing…

As I walked from table to table, there were not the small groups which would normally arrive an hour before to enjoy one beer before bunny chasing… On this night, there were packs… Six, eight, and ten boy and bunny packs consuming shots, discussing the aforementioned celebrity… The energy not normally present in Sugar Bar until midnight on an ordinary evening, was vibrant at nine p.m. on this evening…

While I will take some credit for the promotion of this evening (first of all, I ran multiple announcements and second of all, if you don’t give yourself credit, who will), I must heap credit upon several members of the Sugar-Park Street management team… I know I’ve discussed factions or individual members of other venue’s management, but I will say without hesitation, no ensemble, despite different personalities, outperforms Sugar-Park Street…

Owners Chris Corso and Mike Gallicchio not only enjoy their occupations, they not only succeed at their occupations, they revel in their occupations… Promotions superstars Avi, Brian, Molly, and Tori could sell bubblegum in a lockjaw ward… And Randy, is in a word, omnipresent… He is always there, always anticipating, always with the correct answer…

As two hours elapsed, the anticipation of Jenner’s arrival and the crowd clamoring for that arrival, only exploded… I know I have discussed what a late city this is, and on most nights, you could set your watch for a midnight turnout, but on this night, the city announced their presence early… There were lines stacked twenty deep on the street, the dance floor was slammed, even the hallways, entranceway, and steps were crowded… (And if one were to line up every bunny that had arrived prior to midnight, I am certain they could encircle the walk from Park Street to Nationwide Arena)…

Now, I must at this point say the following (I promise, we will return to the bunnies momentarily)… I am not often jealous of someone else’s job… I have a good job and even if I were broke, I still normally don’t lust after another person’s occupation… With that said, rules have exceptions, and I am jealous of Chris Corso’s job…

Having the title of venue owner will score you some points… Being as successful as Chris has been, will undoubtedly score you some more… But, Chris Corso’s point total on this evening was simply ridiculous… Standing to the right of the main bar, surrounded by four, exquisite, off the chart, bunnies, I had to admit, for the first time in forever, I wanted someone else’s job… The platinum parade dancing with him, sipping drinks with him, talking to him was an embarrassment of riches…

Speaking of embarrassments of visual riches… I’ve discussed before, the ability of bunnies to wear anything, (potato sack, blanket, rug, end of a mop) as an outfit and get away with it… But, the variations on this night stretched all conceivable boundaries… From the seemingly painted on black dresses to the form flattering animal prints to the cutting edge ensembles, the bunnies tastes were exceptional…

I know you’re thinking, he has been talking for ten paragraphs… But, finally, the moment in this column and the evening arrived, Brody Jenner entered, slightly past midnight, surrounded by a phalanx of security, which would have made President Obama jealous… He was escorted to a table amidst screams and digital photography flashes and one could convey from his smile that he enjoyed every second of it…

As security scrambled to create enough room in his section and the bunnies swarmed for the best position from which to take a picture from or with him or get close enough to touch him, the entire episode unfolded like an Elton John song… Primas and prima donnas seeking space… Jenner, sitting like a prince, perched in his electric chair…

Since I mentioned Elton John songs (Thursday night’s alright for fighting)… Forty minutes (approximately) after Jenner’s arrival, the inevitable occurred… Feet from my twitter position, a fight ensued and three security guards quickly found themselves escorting, scratch that, dragging an intoxicated moron from the venue… Only this moron was really special, because after getting dragged from the mezzanine through the bar and the hall, he attempted to fight a trio of cops in the street… (I’m not completely smart, but I know, even when intoxicated, never to take on a cop)…

With the intoxicated moron (last time I will use the phrase, I promise) ousted, the attention returned (like it ever left) to Jenner, who continued humbly lapping it up… An hour later, the obviously not shy reality star finally spoke… “Are there any guys here that go to Ohio State,” he asked. “Are there any girls here that go to Ohio State? Are there any guys here that want f*** girls who go to Ohio State?” (His gift for interesting conversation aside, the venue sizzled with approval)…

About thirty minutes and another two hundred or so camera flashes after that statement, Jenner, engulfed again by security, walked from his table toward the exit… His head was down; he had a slight swagger, although he was clearly tired… He reminded me of a boxer who had just fought… He wanted more adulation, but could not stand to take it… He was rushed down the hall and into a waiting cab and if what I know of him is correct, he has called Lauren Conrad twice by now (just kidding)…

Amidst Jenner’s appearance, Dr. Mojoe provided another dazzling highlight, as they unveiled their spring collection… Having been to the store once and not having been very impressed, I did not know what to expect from this show, but understood that anything they showcased could only improve my opinion… They did more than improve my opinion… They impressed me… Their color choices were inspired, their patterns were appealing, and their styles were exceptional…

I will offer this caution… Dr. Mojoe chose the perfect collection of models for the items showcased… It was almost as if they fit the model to the clothes, instead of the other way around… Thus, there is the chance that clothes on the rack will appear less than desirable… With that said, and while I will review the collection more in-depth, I would recommend the impressive apparel…

Brody Jenner, fashion brilliance, a superb staff, personalities, and bunnies everywhere… Although I had never forgotten, tonight Sugar made me remember why the venue, on it’s greatest nights, owns this city’s nightlife… It’s not enough to get in the door… You want to be dancing with the table full of bunnies, with a bottle of champagne on that table… You want to be doing shots with the promoters in the V.I.P. Mezzanine… You want to be on the stage, in the dj booth, at the table next to the millionaire’s son… It’s this combination, part Les Deux and part Studio 54, that make Sugar a fantasy land that one you walk away from, you want to walk right back into…

And make no mistake; this was one of those greatest nights… As I stood in the mezzanine, I glanced toward the dance floor bar, where Chris Corso was standing… Eye contact, I nodded, he nodded… No words necessary… That look of recognition sealed this evening’s perfection…

BREAKING: Spice Suffocates

Spice Bar will close next month, according to multiple sources familiar with the situation. One source, who spoke on condition of anonymity, stated bluntly, “You don’t know have to know the economy is bad to know they’re in trouble. All you have to do is walk in and look around.”

Originally developed by Sugar Bar Owners Chris Corso and Mike Gallicchio, the 6,290 square foot Spice Bar was purchased by BOMA Developer Tom Starker in October 2008. No one associated with Spice Bar could be reached for comment concerning this story.

BREAKING: Sugar Safe

Despite recent rumors, Sugar Bar remains economically secure. According to a source familiar with the situation, salaries have not been reduced. And while amenity alterations have been made, they were anticipatory. They were not revenue related.

The 7,500 square foot Sugar Bar, which is located next to Park Street Patio, was developed by Chris Corso and Mike Gallicchio. Sugar Bar opened on March 2, 2006.