Activity is not a singular word. I cannot comprehend those who watch a movie and assert that as activity… Activity is texting friends about a movie as you view that movie… Activity is discussing sports as you watch sports… Activity is attending a festival which encompasses this city’s premiere market, music, and strip of entertainment real estate…
Whoever conceptualized the Park Street Festival merits applause, drinks, or recognition (whichever they choose)… Instead of commencing or concluding the street with the stage (practical, but obvious), the round creation splits the environment, creating a spectacular visual with patrons arrayed everywhere…
Amidst the crowd, vendors, and venues, I encountered several people I had met previously… Whether they were professional colleagues or simply venue acquaintances, the montage of familiar faces was elating… An extensive conversation was virtually impossible (thank you zero crowd control), still the encounters reminded me that this city’s miniscule market mentality is not always unwelcome…
As I walked amongst the carnival chaos, my eyes darted between the imposing city skyline and a couple walking their adorable dachshund… For a second moment, the minor attitude of this major city was appreciated and inviting… I was walking a street I traverse every evening, yet I may as well have been walking through my hometown…
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Always Live
Within one hour of my prediction, Callahan’s second level was crushed. Given the crowd he warranted, Gonzo savored every moment and morsel… He challenged them… He enticed them… He posed, preened, scratched, and strutted… And we matched each other energetic lyric for energetic lyric…
Gonzo spins sets like I string sentences… Calculated and random… “Lose Your Love,” “Love Story,” “Love Game,” “Pour Some Sugar,” and “Welcome to the World”… The combination of skill and sound were perfect…
Gonzo spins sets like I string sentences… Calculated and random… “Lose Your Love,” “Love Story,” “Love Game,” “Pour Some Sugar,” and “Welcome to the World”… The combination of skill and sound were perfect…
Always Live
While the Park Street Festival crushed several venues, Park Street Patio was the unquestioned champion. Patrons scurried between the menagerie, music, and inside and outside bars. However, the overall and platinum bunny population never subsided.
Speaking of platinum bunnies, Park Street Patio’s cupcake collection was again spectacular. Christina Charm’s adorableness could consume multiple pages… Jamie Precious is equal parts conversationalist and educator… Mia Charisma possesses a random perfection… The trio’s appearance and allure is unparalleled within this city…
Speaking of platinum bunnies, Park Street Patio’s cupcake collection was again spectacular. Christina Charm’s adorableness could consume multiple pages… Jamie Precious is equal parts conversationalist and educator… Mia Charisma possesses a random perfection… The trio’s appearance and allure is unparalleled within this city…
Always Live
Randy Haffey and Drew Hanson have resolved their conflict. Contradictory accounts concerning who instigated the truce.
Friday, June 12, 2009
INVITE: Park Street Festival
Commencement: 11:00 a.m.Venue: Park Street
Performances: Saturday
Candlebox
Dot Dot Dot
Downplay
Saving Jane
Bike Fest (Saturday)
Bike Show
Charity Poker Run
Grill Masters (Saturday)
Barbecue Sauce Contest
Food Vendors
Grilling Demonstrations
Kids Fest (Saturday)
Mike Vrabel Book Reading & Signing
Columbus Parent Gift Bags
Balloon Artists
Face Painters
INVITE: Lodge Bar Pig Roast
Commencement: 5:00Venue: Lodge Bar (Arena District)
Backyard Barbecue
Cornhole Tournament
Drinks (Available All Night)
$8 Arnold Palmer Bucky Bowls
$2 Miller Light Drafts
Robbery Imitation & Traditional
NBC 4: A male entered the Starbucks Coffee Shop at 350 S. Third St. at about 6:10 a.m. Friday. CPD said the suspect approached an employee, pointed a sawed-off shotgun at her and demanded cash. The employee could not open the register and called for the shift manager. The manager complied with the suspect’s demand, CPD said. The suspect tucked the shotgun inside his hooded sweatshirt and fled the scene, going eastbound on Sycamore Street, according to police. The suspect was described as a white male who is between the ages of 30 and 35. He is between 5 feet 8 inches and 6 feet 1 inch tall. He weighs about 150 pounds and was described as “very skinny.” He has light-colored eyes and some facial hair. He was wearing a winter knit hat with a red logo; black, hooded, zippered sweatshirt; black gloves; black shirt and jeans. The firearm was described as a sawed-off shotgun with a pistol grip. There were no injuries out of the incident.
10 TV: Four people were taken into custody Friday after investigators searched a west side apartment in connection with a suspected counterfeit money ring. The search was conducted at a building on Hilton Avenue at about 1:45 p.m… Investigators with the Franklin County Sheriff's Office said fake bills were recovered from the apartment. Bobby Hunt, 22, and Kalen McCormick, 18, will likely be charged in connection with the case, deputies said.
10 TV: Four people were taken into custody Friday after investigators searched a west side apartment in connection with a suspected counterfeit money ring. The search was conducted at a building on Hilton Avenue at about 1:45 p.m… Investigators with the Franklin County Sheriff's Office said fake bills were recovered from the apartment. Bobby Hunt, 22, and Kalen McCormick, 18, will likely be charged in connection with the case, deputies said.
Personalities Salvage Pathetic, Weak T’s
Every column and every evening is a study is personality. Behavior can be evaluated and observed. Character can be equaled and scrutinized. Traits can be examined and inspected. Qualities can be compared and contrasted.
Upon my arrival for the Park Street Festival Kick Off, the weather was ominous. Every chair and table were occupied. A swarm encircled the area immediately prior to the stage… Still, everyone focused one of their eyes on their conversation or the stage and one of their eyes on the sky, which simultaneously taunted the mass with inciting clouds and inviting sunshine…
Approximately ten minutes after my arrival, I encounter Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar Co-Owner Chris Corso… And any thoughts I had concerning the weather were rapidly abandoned as a conversation that was equal measures awkward, entertaining, and intelligent commenced… (Trust me when I say cringed and smiled simultaneously several times)…
While the Park Street Festival and Social Room are discussed, the majority of our conversation references Corso’s work philosophy (he doesn’t believe the hours spent inside his venues are work… That must be nice) and the male anatomy (I’m not expanding upon that and don’t ask)… In this website’s existence, Corso and I have had fifty conversations, but until this one, I never truly appreciated the paradox of his personality… He is a brazen cross between Gordon Gekko and Kid Rock…
Amidst Corso and I’s conversation, Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar Co-Owner Mike Gallicchio arrives. Corso alone is a venerable verbal opponent… Corso and Gallicchio as a tandem are enough to make even the most gifted of gabbers sit down and sob… They are the Hollywood Blondes with business acumen… They are Money Incorporated with insightful sarcasm…
As Gallicchio and I discuss the Social Room, the venue’s appearance on another website is broached (and no, I’m not mentioning the other website on this website)… Gallicchio mentions the link was lifted from his facebook page… I ask why aren’t we friends on facebook… He states he must be selective about his friends and Corso retorts that Gallicchio is selective, which is why his facebook includes 800 friends… The three of us exchange glances and laughs… Obviously, we are friends… But friendship is not immunity from mockery…
With split skies still overhead, the Plain White T’s took the stage. Now, I’ve overestimated certain acts previously and I will confess that this city’s taste remains a partial mystery… However, I expected the Plain White T’s would excel with Park Street Patio’s intimate exterior stage… I want everyone who has ever or will ever send me a critical response to read this (as I am only typing this once)… I was wrong again….
The Plain White T’s commenced their four song set with “1, 2, 3, 4” and they concluded with “Hey There Delilah.” None of the quintet ever appeared comfortable… They never appeared enthusiastic… And the lead singer appeared twice as if he wanted to cease playing and exit the premises… I was certain that the acoustic nature of their music would blend brilliantly with the crowd… Instead, the crowd treated the Plain White T’s as if they were simply five teenagers in plain white t-shirts playing for prom money….
As I said on twitter, if Thursday’s crowd was any indication, Friday’s concert will not be sold out… Also (and I am hoping this remains untrue), if Thursday’s crowd was any indication, Park Street Festival could be a disappointment…
Since I mentioned the Park Street Festival, I enjoyed a ten-minute conversation with Park Street Patio Promotions Superstar Tori Lioness, who appeared scrumptious in a simple white top with jeans… I will say and I assume she would as well… This weekend has to be one of the highlights of the summer calendar… Yet, she will be elated when it concludes…
I cannot conclude this column without mentioning Park Street Patio’s cupcake collection, which could rival any drink slinging contingent in this city… Jamie Precious, a platinum bunny with a matching personality, is their perfect personification… She is adorable and alluring… Entertaining and exquisite… (And she isn’t the only one)…
As I walked Park Street at the conclusion of my evening, I strode with conflicting thoughts… This city ignored another significant act… Yet, I knew this column would read significantly positive… Another study in the behavior, character, qualities, and traits that comprise my evenings.
Upon my arrival for the Park Street Festival Kick Off, the weather was ominous. Every chair and table were occupied. A swarm encircled the area immediately prior to the stage… Still, everyone focused one of their eyes on their conversation or the stage and one of their eyes on the sky, which simultaneously taunted the mass with inciting clouds and inviting sunshine…
Approximately ten minutes after my arrival, I encounter Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar Co-Owner Chris Corso… And any thoughts I had concerning the weather were rapidly abandoned as a conversation that was equal measures awkward, entertaining, and intelligent commenced… (Trust me when I say cringed and smiled simultaneously several times)…
While the Park Street Festival and Social Room are discussed, the majority of our conversation references Corso’s work philosophy (he doesn’t believe the hours spent inside his venues are work… That must be nice) and the male anatomy (I’m not expanding upon that and don’t ask)… In this website’s existence, Corso and I have had fifty conversations, but until this one, I never truly appreciated the paradox of his personality… He is a brazen cross between Gordon Gekko and Kid Rock…
Amidst Corso and I’s conversation, Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar Co-Owner Mike Gallicchio arrives. Corso alone is a venerable verbal opponent… Corso and Gallicchio as a tandem are enough to make even the most gifted of gabbers sit down and sob… They are the Hollywood Blondes with business acumen… They are Money Incorporated with insightful sarcasm…
As Gallicchio and I discuss the Social Room, the venue’s appearance on another website is broached (and no, I’m not mentioning the other website on this website)… Gallicchio mentions the link was lifted from his facebook page… I ask why aren’t we friends on facebook… He states he must be selective about his friends and Corso retorts that Gallicchio is selective, which is why his facebook includes 800 friends… The three of us exchange glances and laughs… Obviously, we are friends… But friendship is not immunity from mockery…
With split skies still overhead, the Plain White T’s took the stage. Now, I’ve overestimated certain acts previously and I will confess that this city’s taste remains a partial mystery… However, I expected the Plain White T’s would excel with Park Street Patio’s intimate exterior stage… I want everyone who has ever or will ever send me a critical response to read this (as I am only typing this once)… I was wrong again….
The Plain White T’s commenced their four song set with “1, 2, 3, 4” and they concluded with “Hey There Delilah.” None of the quintet ever appeared comfortable… They never appeared enthusiastic… And the lead singer appeared twice as if he wanted to cease playing and exit the premises… I was certain that the acoustic nature of their music would blend brilliantly with the crowd… Instead, the crowd treated the Plain White T’s as if they were simply five teenagers in plain white t-shirts playing for prom money….
As I said on twitter, if Thursday’s crowd was any indication, Friday’s concert will not be sold out… Also (and I am hoping this remains untrue), if Thursday’s crowd was any indication, Park Street Festival could be a disappointment…
Since I mentioned the Park Street Festival, I enjoyed a ten-minute conversation with Park Street Patio Promotions Superstar Tori Lioness, who appeared scrumptious in a simple white top with jeans… I will say and I assume she would as well… This weekend has to be one of the highlights of the summer calendar… Yet, she will be elated when it concludes…
I cannot conclude this column without mentioning Park Street Patio’s cupcake collection, which could rival any drink slinging contingent in this city… Jamie Precious, a platinum bunny with a matching personality, is their perfect personification… She is adorable and alluring… Entertaining and exquisite… (And she isn’t the only one)…
As I walked Park Street at the conclusion of my evening, I strode with conflicting thoughts… This city ignored another significant act… Yet, I knew this column would read significantly positive… Another study in the behavior, character, qualities, and traits that comprise my evenings.
Talent, Truffles Present Material Treasure
Column material isn’t obvious. Column material doesn’t introduce itself via an engraved invitation. It must be conceptualized, examined, polished, and resolved. It’s availability must match it’s omnipresence.
Theoretically, Thursday Night Live was this evening’s subject. I would discuss the third edition of our series, but the recapitulation would resemble a comprehensive analysis of the Manny Pacquiao-Ricky Hatton contest… It would be brief and brutal…
This was not two weeks ago when Sugar Bar scored victory, despite their random recital… This evening, Sugar Bar’s platinum bunnies were spectacular… Lodge Bar’s population was nonexistent… If the Detroit Red Wings and Pittsburgh Penguins needed a vacant venue in which to discuss strategy prior to their game seven skirmish, they could have utilized Lodge Bar…
Thankfully, Maxwell captured my interest amidst the silence… It’s not as if I unaware of Maxwell… He is a former WNCI host, I had heard his show, and we know several of the same people… What turned a three-minute grip and gab (that’s a handshake and hello to those of you without imagination) into a one-hour conversation was the insight and vision he articulated…
For six months, I’ve discussed this city’s miniscule market mentality… Maxwell shares my premise… We spoke for ten minutes… twenty minutes… And his words continued illustrating my thoughts… Why aren’t more premiere events staged in this city? Why isn’t this city capitalizing on it’s talent? Why shouldn’t those with talent and vision attempt to transform this city’s mindset? The dialogue was informative and intense…
I’ve had conversations with superstars that make me appreciate their talent… I’ve had conversations with superstars where ideas are concocted… Maxwell and I’s conversation motivated me to advance several of our ideas and made me value his exponential talent… Maxwell is brilliant, but brilliant is a trait shared by several in our city… It’s Maxwell’s unlimited vision which shocked my attention…
While Lodge Bar’s virtually vacant main room allowed Maxwell and I to converse, DJ AAA squandered several impressive moments in the silence… From “Break the Ice” to “I Love College,” AAA spun selections that everyone enjoys, that everyone likely indulges inside the privacy of their vehicle, but that never score space on a set list… It is unfortunate that the venue’s décor was his principal spectator…
Now, I know what you’re thinking… Three sentences prior I utilized the phrase virtually vacant, meaning a minimal audience must have been present… Minimal in numbers… Maximum in mass… This is where I return to the unfairness of comparing Lodge Bar and Sugar Bar… Sugar Bar had miniature morsels such as Brie (a future fashion show participant) on their stage… Lodge Bar had, as one bouncer phrased it, more beautiful creatures on their walls than on their dance floor…
Since I mentioned the bouncer, who I spoke with frequently, yet whose name escapes me (I apologize), I must compliment him on his aptitude… I have thirty conversations a night in this city, most are entertaining, but rare is the conversational participant who can spar with me as I praise platinum bunnies and scorch heifers… This bouncer was my equal…
From his beautiful creatures comment to stating the obvious (Sugar scored the bunnies, Lodge scored the dust bunnies), he equaled and occasionally exceeded my saucy and searing commentary on the calamity that was the venue’s crowd… In fact, there was only one moment I can remember where he was overmatched… As we both stared toward a platinum bunny, he stated that she was a diamond among coal… I responded she was more accurately a truffle amongst the pig excrement…
Over four hours, one venue was scattered. Another venue was swarmed. No storyline was obvious. Yet, a bouncer, a mixer, and a premiere talent provided column material.
Theoretically, Thursday Night Live was this evening’s subject. I would discuss the third edition of our series, but the recapitulation would resemble a comprehensive analysis of the Manny Pacquiao-Ricky Hatton contest… It would be brief and brutal…
This was not two weeks ago when Sugar Bar scored victory, despite their random recital… This evening, Sugar Bar’s platinum bunnies were spectacular… Lodge Bar’s population was nonexistent… If the Detroit Red Wings and Pittsburgh Penguins needed a vacant venue in which to discuss strategy prior to their game seven skirmish, they could have utilized Lodge Bar…
Thankfully, Maxwell captured my interest amidst the silence… It’s not as if I unaware of Maxwell… He is a former WNCI host, I had heard his show, and we know several of the same people… What turned a three-minute grip and gab (that’s a handshake and hello to those of you without imagination) into a one-hour conversation was the insight and vision he articulated…
For six months, I’ve discussed this city’s miniscule market mentality… Maxwell shares my premise… We spoke for ten minutes… twenty minutes… And his words continued illustrating my thoughts… Why aren’t more premiere events staged in this city? Why isn’t this city capitalizing on it’s talent? Why shouldn’t those with talent and vision attempt to transform this city’s mindset? The dialogue was informative and intense…
I’ve had conversations with superstars that make me appreciate their talent… I’ve had conversations with superstars where ideas are concocted… Maxwell and I’s conversation motivated me to advance several of our ideas and made me value his exponential talent… Maxwell is brilliant, but brilliant is a trait shared by several in our city… It’s Maxwell’s unlimited vision which shocked my attention…
While Lodge Bar’s virtually vacant main room allowed Maxwell and I to converse, DJ AAA squandered several impressive moments in the silence… From “Break the Ice” to “I Love College,” AAA spun selections that everyone enjoys, that everyone likely indulges inside the privacy of their vehicle, but that never score space on a set list… It is unfortunate that the venue’s décor was his principal spectator…
Now, I know what you’re thinking… Three sentences prior I utilized the phrase virtually vacant, meaning a minimal audience must have been present… Minimal in numbers… Maximum in mass… This is where I return to the unfairness of comparing Lodge Bar and Sugar Bar… Sugar Bar had miniature morsels such as Brie (a future fashion show participant) on their stage… Lodge Bar had, as one bouncer phrased it, more beautiful creatures on their walls than on their dance floor…
Since I mentioned the bouncer, who I spoke with frequently, yet whose name escapes me (I apologize), I must compliment him on his aptitude… I have thirty conversations a night in this city, most are entertaining, but rare is the conversational participant who can spar with me as I praise platinum bunnies and scorch heifers… This bouncer was my equal…
From his beautiful creatures comment to stating the obvious (Sugar scored the bunnies, Lodge scored the dust bunnies), he equaled and occasionally exceeded my saucy and searing commentary on the calamity that was the venue’s crowd… In fact, there was only one moment I can remember where he was overmatched… As we both stared toward a platinum bunny, he stated that she was a diamond among coal… I responded she was more accurately a truffle amongst the pig excrement…
Over four hours, one venue was scattered. Another venue was swarmed. No storyline was obvious. Yet, a bouncer, a mixer, and a premiere talent provided column material.
Sugar Bar Snubs Maxwell
On Thursday, Maxwell was refused entrance into Sugar Bar. At approximately midnight, Gossip CBUS received this twitter from the former WNCI host. “Had no idea a dude could get denied entrance @ sugar bar for wearing true religion jeans and a black v neck calvin t shirt...wow.”
While Sugar Bar has admitted baseball cap wearers, Maxwell’s lid was apparently intolerable. Sugar Bar Promotions Superstar Shawn Money reacted with shock to the discrepancy saying, “I wish someone would have asked me. I would have let him in.”
WNCI may have axed him, but Maxwell remains a nightlife notable… What’s next? Sugar Bar refuses me entrance?
While Sugar Bar has admitted baseball cap wearers, Maxwell’s lid was apparently intolerable. Sugar Bar Promotions Superstar Shawn Money reacted with shock to the discrepancy saying, “I wish someone would have asked me. I would have let him in.”
WNCI may have axed him, but Maxwell remains a nightlife notable… What’s next? Sugar Bar refuses me entrance?
Gossip CBUS Announces Voter’s Affiliations
The first annual Gossip Awards voter’s organizations include Ballet Met Columbus, Big Fish Networking, Callahan’s, Columbus Best Blog, Columbus Underground, Columbus Young Professionals, Corso, Gallichio, and Swanson Ventures, Cosi, Eddie George’s Grille, Experience Columbus, Frog Bear and Wild Boar, Greater Columbus Sports Commission, Hienzerling Foundation, Humor Consultants, Ifelicious Blog, Lahr-Griffeth Events, LBX Productions, Lodge Bar, Magical Attractions, McFadden’s, Meeting Partners Group, Onyx, Positive Connections, R BAR, School Boy Productions, Sportsnetworker.com, Tech Columbus, WBNS (10 TV), WCMH (NBC 4), Wexner Center for the Arts, and WNCI.
These organizations are not involved with the Gossip Awards. They are merely the voter’s affiliation.
These organizations are not involved with the Gossip Awards. They are merely the voter’s affiliation.
Gossip Awards Announce Corso & Gallichio
Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar Co-Owners Chris Corso and Mike Gallichio will present at the first annual Gossip Awards. Since 1998, Corso and Gallicchio have owned and revolutionized city nightlife. Their previous ventures included Long Street Live, Mecca, Red Zone, and Spice Bar. Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar are two and three years old respectively.
Always Live
Late Thursday night, a fight ensued outside of Sugar Bar. According to witnesses, a man was attacked and rendered unconscious. The incident required five policemen, four police cars, and an ambulance. The instigator of the skirmish was arrested for assault.
Always Live
South Campus spies inform me that McFadden’s was crushed. Evidently, the awaiting masses consumed a complete block.
Always Live
Callahan’s French door, sidewalk café renovation is spectacular. With their reformation and scrumptious staff, Callahan’s is turning into the Arena District’s premiere venue.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
INVITE: Park Street Festival
Commencement: 5:00 p.m. (June 12); 11:00 a.m. (June 13)Venue: Park Street
Performances: Friday
17th Floor
Bourbon Kings
Lovesick Radio
DJ N.A.T.E.
Performances: Saturday
Candlebox
Dot Dot Dot
Downplay
Saving Jane
Bike Fest (Saturday)
Bike Show
Charity Poker Run
Grill Masters (Saturday)
Barbecue Sauce Contest
Food Vendors
Grilling Demonstrations
Kids Fest (Saturday)
Mike Vrabel Book Reading & Signing
Columbus Parent Gift Bags
Balloon Artists
Face Painters
Stoned Stupid: Buckeye Recruit Faces Felony
NBC 4: One of Ohio State’s top football recruits for this fall has been arrested by Miami police. Buckeye-to-be running back Jamaal Berry was cited by Miami police on charges of marijuana possession.
According to Miami court records, Berry was arrested with 28 grams of marijuana, which would be labeled a third-degree felony in Florida. His arraignment hearing is scheduled for July 2.
Berry, from Palmetto High School in Florida, was ranked as the fifth best running back in America by several recruiting services and is considered a candidate to get playing time as a true freshman for the Buckeyes. No comment was available from The Ohio State University.
According to Miami court records, Berry was arrested with 28 grams of marijuana, which would be labeled a third-degree felony in Florida. His arraignment hearing is scheduled for July 2.
Berry, from Palmetto High School in Florida, was ranked as the fifth best running back in America by several recruiting services and is considered a candidate to get playing time as a true freshman for the Buckeyes. No comment was available from The Ohio State University.
Curfew Procedure Announced
NBC 4: The city of Columbus again plans to crack down on youth who stay out too late. The city announced its 2009 summer-curfew enforcement Thursday.
Children younger than 13 should be home one hour after sunset and until 4:30 a.m. Juveniles between 13 and 17 years old must be off the streets by midnight and until 4:30 a.m. If the teens aren’t in home by midnight, they will face charges. A curfew violation is a third-degree misdemeanor with a maximum fine of $500 and/or 60 days in jail.
Last summer, Columbus police picked up those after curfew and took them to a truancy classroom at the Downtown YMCA. CPD picked up 60 kids during the summer months of 2008; 27 were taken to the YMCA. The city planned to do things a little differently this summer.
“Last year’s pilot curfew program was a huge success, and we’re proud to work with Franklin County Children Services to ensure that we continue to keep our kids and neighborhoods safe,” said Mayor Michael B. Coleman. “Nothing good happens when kids are on the streets after midnight, and we need to do more to keep kids out of harm’s way and out of trouble.”
Coleman credited the media and said the direct result was less children on the streets after curfew. The 2009 summer initiative was set to be a 24/7 operation in partnership with children services. The 2008 summer initiative was enforced Thursdays through Saturdays.
If a child is picked up for curfew violation, CPD officers will issue them a summons to appear in court for a curfew violation. CPD officers are to take violating youth home and to a parent or other responsible adult or to FCCS intake center at 525 E. Mound St. if a parent is not at the home. There, caseworkers will contact the child’s parent or guardian to facilitate the return of the child as expediently as possible.
The city will pay nothing for the program; the county absorbs the cost. CPD officers will be crucial to its success, which brings the program’s future success back to the city budget. If voters weren’t to pass Issue 1, the failure’s outcome on the summer curfew initiative in 2010 couldn’t be assumed currently.
Children younger than 13 should be home one hour after sunset and until 4:30 a.m. Juveniles between 13 and 17 years old must be off the streets by midnight and until 4:30 a.m. If the teens aren’t in home by midnight, they will face charges. A curfew violation is a third-degree misdemeanor with a maximum fine of $500 and/or 60 days in jail.
Last summer, Columbus police picked up those after curfew and took them to a truancy classroom at the Downtown YMCA. CPD picked up 60 kids during the summer months of 2008; 27 were taken to the YMCA. The city planned to do things a little differently this summer.
“Last year’s pilot curfew program was a huge success, and we’re proud to work with Franklin County Children Services to ensure that we continue to keep our kids and neighborhoods safe,” said Mayor Michael B. Coleman. “Nothing good happens when kids are on the streets after midnight, and we need to do more to keep kids out of harm’s way and out of trouble.”
Coleman credited the media and said the direct result was less children on the streets after curfew. The 2009 summer initiative was set to be a 24/7 operation in partnership with children services. The 2008 summer initiative was enforced Thursdays through Saturdays.
If a child is picked up for curfew violation, CPD officers will issue them a summons to appear in court for a curfew violation. CPD officers are to take violating youth home and to a parent or other responsible adult or to FCCS intake center at 525 E. Mound St. if a parent is not at the home. There, caseworkers will contact the child’s parent or guardian to facilitate the return of the child as expediently as possible.
The city will pay nothing for the program; the county absorbs the cost. CPD officers will be crucial to its success, which brings the program’s future success back to the city budget. If voters weren’t to pass Issue 1, the failure’s outcome on the summer curfew initiative in 2010 couldn’t be assumed currently.
Man’s Self-Employment: Home Based Brothel
10 TV: A man faces charges after deputies said he was caught running a brothel from his home on the city's southeast side... In addition to allegations that Christopher Cobbs sold sex from his Pendent Lane home, investigators say a prostitute working out of his house was an underage teenage girl.
Detectives said they set up communication with Cobbs through e-mails, and inquired about Internet advertisements that offered prostitutes at his residences... According to a search warrant, an undercover detective went to Cobbs' house, paid $150, and was led to an upstairs bedroom where a 16-year-old girl waited to have sex with him.
Investigators said the teenage girl was a runaway who later admitted that Cobbs took nude photographs of her and posted them on the Internet to advertise prostitution... Neighbors were dumbfounded by the allegations that a brothel was operating so close to their homes. Cobbs was charged with promoting prostitution and was released from custody as investigators consider the possibility of additional federal charges…
Detectives said they set up communication with Cobbs through e-mails, and inquired about Internet advertisements that offered prostitutes at his residences... According to a search warrant, an undercover detective went to Cobbs' house, paid $150, and was led to an upstairs bedroom where a 16-year-old girl waited to have sex with him.
Investigators said the teenage girl was a runaway who later admitted that Cobbs took nude photographs of her and posted them on the Internet to advertise prostitution... Neighbors were dumbfounded by the allegations that a brothel was operating so close to their homes. Cobbs was charged with promoting prostitution and was released from custody as investigators consider the possibility of additional federal charges…
INVITE: Peace & Love Party
Commencement: 10:00Venue: Sugar Bar (525 Park Street)
Mezzanine Drinks (Available 11 p.m. – Midnight)
$1 Top Shelf Drinks
Dann Done With $1,000 Fine
10 TV: Former Attorney General Marc Dann, accused of wrongly using campaign funds, has reached a tentative agreement with the state that will result in a $1,000 fine and the dismissal of all but one remaining charge in the case.
According to a copy of the agreement obtained by The Associated Press on Thursday, Dann's campaign will acknowledge that his use of campaign funds to pay for a trip to San Francisco for his family were in violation of state law. The state will acknowledge that Dann has already refunded some of the money and didn't intentionally break the law.
By agreement, Dann and his campaign will pay a $1,000 fine. The commission accepted the agreement Thursday and the fine was imposed. The agreement was negotiated over the past two weeks. It reflects that the commission has already found Dann in violation of election law for using campaign funds for installation of a security system at his Youngstown home and for personal use of a cell phone.
On those two violations, the 7-member panel voted not to refer Dann to prosecutors. Dann stepped down a year ago amid a sexual harassment scandal at his office. A top aide, Anthony Gutierrez, faces a 10-count indictment alleging he committed felony theft in office and used a state computer system to transmit fraudulent workers' compensation documents.
According to a copy of the agreement obtained by The Associated Press on Thursday, Dann's campaign will acknowledge that his use of campaign funds to pay for a trip to San Francisco for his family were in violation of state law. The state will acknowledge that Dann has already refunded some of the money and didn't intentionally break the law.
By agreement, Dann and his campaign will pay a $1,000 fine. The commission accepted the agreement Thursday and the fine was imposed. The agreement was negotiated over the past two weeks. It reflects that the commission has already found Dann in violation of election law for using campaign funds for installation of a security system at his Youngstown home and for personal use of a cell phone.
On those two violations, the 7-member panel voted not to refer Dann to prosecutors. Dann stepped down a year ago amid a sexual harassment scandal at his office. A top aide, Anthony Gutierrez, faces a 10-count indictment alleging he committed felony theft in office and used a state computer system to transmit fraudulent workers' compensation documents.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
BREAKING: Social Room Specifics
One week ago, Gossip CBUS received an exclusive tour of the Social Room. Presently in the permit process, the Social Room will include an enclosed patio, multiple bars, and an upstairs. The city’s initial member’s only venue will be completed and open this fall.
While membership will not be limited, membership will cost $29.95 per month. Members must also be no less than an acquaintance of the venue’s ownership.
Since 1998, Chris Corso and Mike Gallicchio have owned and revolutionized city nightlife. Their previous ventures included Long Street Live, Mecca, Red Zone, and Spice Bar. Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar are two and three years old respectively.
While membership will not be limited, membership will cost $29.95 per month. Members must also be no less than an acquaintance of the venue’s ownership.
Since 1998, Chris Corso and Mike Gallicchio have owned and revolutionized city nightlife. Their previous ventures included Long Street Live, Mecca, Red Zone, and Spice Bar. Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar are two and three years old respectively.
Always Live
Randy Haffey and Drew Hanson’s clash has concluded. Tonight, Gossip CBUS received this text from Hanson… “I’m letting it go,” he said. “I’m out of town all weekend anyway, so Park Street Fest won’t even matter.”
National Tragedy Scares Columbus Community
10 TV: Jewish community organizations in central Ohio were under heightened alert Wednesday night after a gunman killed a security guard at the National Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C. Synagogues received warnings to be on the look-out for anything suspicious…
Columbus police relayed notices from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security to the Columbus Jewish Federation, Federation CEO Marsha Hurwitz said... Hurwitz said the shooting at the National Holocaust Museum is especially disturbing to the area's Holocaust survivors.
"For many of them who were survivors, I think it caused them to relive some of the pain and fear they may have felt when they went through it years ago back in Europe," Hurwitz said.
Columbus police relayed notices from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security to the Columbus Jewish Federation, Federation CEO Marsha Hurwitz said... Hurwitz said the shooting at the National Holocaust Museum is especially disturbing to the area's Holocaust survivors.
"For many of them who were survivors, I think it caused them to relive some of the pain and fear they may have felt when they went through it years ago back in Europe," Hurwitz said.
INVITE: Senior Crawl
Commencement: 9:00Venue: McFadden’s (South Campus)
U-Weekly Senior Crawl T-Shirts Available
Drinks (T-Shirt Wearers Only)
$2 Dragon Berry Shots
Drinks (Available All Night)
$2 Domestic Pints
INVITE: Park Street Festival Kick Off
Commencement: 7:00Venue: Park Street Patio (533 Park Street)
Drinks (Available 4 p.m. – Midnight)
½ Price Bud Light Pitchers (48 ounces)
½ Price Margarita Pitchers (48 ounces)
½ Price Sangria Pitchers (48 ounces)
Performance
Plain White T’s
Sponsor
WNCI
INVITE: Park Street Festival
Commencement: 5:00 p.m. (June 12); 11:00 a.m. (June 13)Venue: Park Street
Performances: Friday
17th Floor
Bourbon Kings
Lovesick Radio
DJ N.A.T.E.
Performances: Saturday
Candlebox
Dot Dot Dot
Downplay
Saving Jane
Bike Fest (Saturday)
Bike Show
Charity Poker Run
Grill Masters (Saturday)
Barbecue Sauce Contest
Food Vendors
Grilling Demonstrations
Kids Fest (Saturday)
Mike Vrabel Book Reading & Signing
Columbus Parent Gift Bags
Balloon Artists
Face Painters
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Always Live
A Randy Haffey-Drew Hanson clash may be emerging, according to several sources. This evening, Hanson posted the following on his facebook page… “I just heard this stage 5 doucher thinks he is so powerful that if I show up at Park Street Fest... the entire street of Park... he will have me thrown out. I seriously welcome this.”
I know I glossed Hanson as the Cheshire cat, but I never expected an actual feline fracas lol… (No word on whether Haffey responded)
I know I glossed Hanson as the Cheshire cat, but I never expected an actual feline fracas lol… (No word on whether Haffey responded)
INVITE: Park Street Festival
Commencement: 5:00 p.m. (June 12); 11:00 a.m. (June 13)Venue: Park Street
Performances: Friday
17th Floor
Bourbon Kings
Lovesick Radio
DJ N.A.T.E.
Performances: Saturday
Candlebox
Dot Dot Dot
Downplay
Saving Jane
Bike Fest (Saturday)
Bike Show
Charity Poker Run
Grill Masters (Saturday)
Barbecue Sauce Contest
Food Vendors
Grilling Demonstrations
Kids Fest (Saturday)
Mike Vrabel Book Reading & Signing
Columbus Parent Gift Bags
Balloon Artists
Face Painters
INVITE: Beer Shot Game Night
Commencement: 8:00Venue: Spice Gastro Lounge (491 Park Street)
Competitions
Beer Pong (Tournament)
Cornhole
Fooseball (Tournament)
Flip Cup
Wii Bowling
Drinks (Available All Night)
$3 Bottles (16 ounces)
$3 Jack & Coke
$3 Mango Bombs
$3 Soco & Lime Shots
Co-Sponsors
Beta Pong
Ohio Beer Pong League
Income Tax Increase Proponents Commence Campaign
NBC 4: Against the backdrop of Fire Station 10 on West Broad Street, supporters of Mayor Michael Coleman’s proposed half-percent income tax increase stood side-by-side. Each made a plea to voters to approve Issue 1 on August 4.
Some like Kevin Miles, President of Central Ohio Crime Stoppers, opposed a city-wide tax increase seven years ago. He is firmly behind this latest request. “I am here to tell you today that Crime Stoppers does not endorse politicians. We are not a political organization. What we do is support our local fire and police,“ said Miles.
City officials claim the income tax increase would cost taxpayers another $50 per year for every $10,000. It would generate $100 million for the city coffers. But not everyone is convinced.
Matt Ferris, a Republican candidate for Columbus City Council tells us the opposition is strong. He says Mayor Coleman and council members have not done enough to trim the fat from the budget. “When you have a city government that has been operating in the shadows for close to a decade now, it’s very difficult to find out where the money has been going,“ explained Ferris.
The income tax increase is critical for communities like Franklinton. Ask anyone who lives in that neighborhood and they will tell you how much crime boarded up homes attract. But an increased police presence is going a long way to deter such activity. “Since precinct eight moved to 338 West Town down by COSI, the police officers go through our community all the time to get to the west side,“ said Carol Stewart, Chair of the Franklinton Area Commission.
But unless they City of Columbus pass the half percent income tax increase that police presence could drop considerably. That is bad news for an area expecting growth. Through $22.8 million in Federal Neighborhood Stabilization Funds, the city plans to build and refurbish homes to rent and sell. The plan also calls for demolish rundown homes.
Franklinton resident Carol Davey said she plans to vote for the tax increase. “I’ve had seven children and it was a nice neighborhood then. Then gradually it started to getting bad,“ remembered Davey.
Neighbors agree the only way it won’t get any worse rests solely on a continued police presence. The next public forum on Issue 1 is June 17 at the Marion Franklin Recreation Center on Lockbourne Road. It runs from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.
Some like Kevin Miles, President of Central Ohio Crime Stoppers, opposed a city-wide tax increase seven years ago. He is firmly behind this latest request. “I am here to tell you today that Crime Stoppers does not endorse politicians. We are not a political organization. What we do is support our local fire and police,“ said Miles.
City officials claim the income tax increase would cost taxpayers another $50 per year for every $10,000. It would generate $100 million for the city coffers. But not everyone is convinced.
Matt Ferris, a Republican candidate for Columbus City Council tells us the opposition is strong. He says Mayor Coleman and council members have not done enough to trim the fat from the budget. “When you have a city government that has been operating in the shadows for close to a decade now, it’s very difficult to find out where the money has been going,“ explained Ferris.
The income tax increase is critical for communities like Franklinton. Ask anyone who lives in that neighborhood and they will tell you how much crime boarded up homes attract. But an increased police presence is going a long way to deter such activity. “Since precinct eight moved to 338 West Town down by COSI, the police officers go through our community all the time to get to the west side,“ said Carol Stewart, Chair of the Franklinton Area Commission.
But unless they City of Columbus pass the half percent income tax increase that police presence could drop considerably. That is bad news for an area expecting growth. Through $22.8 million in Federal Neighborhood Stabilization Funds, the city plans to build and refurbish homes to rent and sell. The plan also calls for demolish rundown homes.
Franklinton resident Carol Davey said she plans to vote for the tax increase. “I’ve had seven children and it was a nice neighborhood then. Then gradually it started to getting bad,“ remembered Davey.
Neighbors agree the only way it won’t get any worse rests solely on a continued police presence. The next public forum on Issue 1 is June 17 at the Marion Franklin Recreation Center on Lockbourne Road. It runs from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Gossip Awards Information
On July 24, the first annual Gossip Awards will commence at 7:30. They will conclude at 9:00. Gonzo will spin the event. A host will be announced this weekend.
Additionally, sponsorship opportunities are now available. Sponsorship will cost $175. Sponsors will receive recognition via prominent sign placement at the event and this website prior to the event. If interested, e-mail gossipcbus@gmail.com
Additionally, sponsorship opportunities are now available. Sponsorship will cost $175. Sponsors will receive recognition via prominent sign placement at the event and this website prior to the event. If interested, e-mail gossipcbus@gmail.com
Always Live
Gonzo, will appear at Callahan’s this weekend, is the probable choice to spin on the venue’s rooftop patio, according to sources with knowledge of the situation. The rooftop patio will open later this month.
Always Live
I know I asked this on twitter, but why were all the platinum bunnies on Park Street this weekend? Another question… How proud can pupils make instructors? If DJ Legend was your pupil, the answer is very… On Saturday, the superstar spun for his mentor and exemplary epitomizes the performance…
INVITE: Park Street Festival
Commencement: 5:00 p.m. (June 12); 11:00 a.m. (June 13)Venue: Park Street
Performances: Friday
17th Floor
Bourbon Kings
Lovesick Radio
DJ N.A.T.E.
Performances: Saturday
Candlebox
Dot Dot Dot
Downplay
Saving Jane
Bike Fest (Saturday)
Bike Show
Charity Poker Run
Grill Masters (Saturday)
Barbecue Sauce Contest
Food Vendors
Grilling Demonstrations
Kids Fest (Saturday)
Mike Vrabel Book Reading & Signing
Columbus Parent Gift Bags
Balloon Artists
Face Painters
Always Live
Apparently, Joe Information and I were talking about two different bachlorette parties… I apologize for the misstatement…. However, Joe’s standards are still exceedingly low lol…
Sunday, June 7, 2009
1,000 Posts & 4,000 Tweets
Who would have thought in six months, Gossip CBUS would announce an awards showcase, cover celebrity appearances and sports spectacles, influence this city’s culture and dialogue, and rack one thousands posts and four thousand twitter tweets… You made it possible Columbus! Keep reading and keep e-mailing… You never know what might happen next…
INVITE: Park Street Festival
Commencement: 5:00 p.m. (June 12); 11:00 a.m. (June 13)Venue: Park Street
Performances: Friday
17th Floor
Bourbon Kings
Lovesick Radio
DJ N.A.T.E.
Performances: Saturday
Candlebox
Dot Dot Dot
Downplay
Saving Jane
Bike Fest (Saturday)
Bike Show
Charity Poker Run
Grill Masters (Saturday)
Barbecue Sauce Contest
Food Vendors
Grilling Demonstrations
Kids Fest (Saturday)
Mike Vrabel Book Reading & Signing
Columbus Parent Gift Bags
Balloon Artists
Face Painters
INVITE: Lodge Bar Pig Roast
Calendar: June 13Commencement: 5:00
Venue: Lodge Bar (Arena District)
Backyard Barbecue
Cornhole Tournament
Drinks (Available All Night)
$8 Arnold Palmer Bucky Bowls
$2 Miller Light Drafts
INVITE: Uncivil War
Calendar: July 4Commencement: 7:00
Venue: Frog Bear & Wild Boar (343 N Front Street)
Cost: $25
Reservations: Ticket Leap
Performance
Downplay
Co-Sponsors
Budweiser
Cock Diesel
Crowne Plaza
Navy
INVITE: Doo Dah Parade & Party
“Celebrating Liberty & Lunacy”Calendar: July 4
Commencement: 11:00 a.m.
Venue: Short North
Reservations: 228-0621
You Have Questions... I Have Answers
Since Gossip Cbus began, I’ve been swamped with e-mail (thanks for the love)… While I’ve tried to give individual responses to several, I also know that some of the questions are questions others may have and thus, answering them publicly would be better… Therefore, from time to time, I will answer questions where everyone can see them…
Q: How much of your writing is meant to provoke and how much of it do you actually believe?
A: That's the second secret I'll never tell... (You know you love me)…
Q: Will Gossip CBUS ever include photography with your columns?
A: Gossip CBUS is seven months old… As such, coverage opportunities and philosophies are altered and debated on an almost daily basis… Photography is an important aspect for any experience and it’s an aspect that will be incorporated into this website in the future… In what manner is still undetermined…
Q: How will you cover the Park Street Festival?
A: Absolutely, Gossip CBUS will cover the Park Street Festival… We will have an announcement on Wednesday (June 10)…
Q: How much of your writing is meant to provoke and how much of it do you actually believe?
A: That's the second secret I'll never tell... (You know you love me)…
Q: Will Gossip CBUS ever include photography with your columns?
A: Gossip CBUS is seven months old… As such, coverage opportunities and philosophies are altered and debated on an almost daily basis… Photography is an important aspect for any experience and it’s an aspect that will be incorporated into this website in the future… In what manner is still undetermined…
Q: How will you cover the Park Street Festival?
A: Absolutely, Gossip CBUS will cover the Park Street Festival… We will have an announcement on Wednesday (June 10)…
Scrumptious Excellence & Sickening Excrement
This city’s nightlife and reality are polar opposites. Occasionally, reality intrudes upon our exquisite charade. Executives are reassigned. Slingers are removed. Servers are replaced.
Theoretically, Alexa’s Summer Escape (I’ll explain the title) was this evening’s subject. The intoxicating tart will receive the requisite number of sentences, but as frequently occurs obvious and unexpected column material presented itself… And by presented itself, I mean alcohol, embarrassment, and randomness were involved…
Since warm weather commenced, Lodge Bar’s crowd is difficult to evaluate. They separate themselves between the main room and the patio… I would label the individual cliques as scattered, then I pause and consider that if a catastrophic rainstorm struck, the combined mass would rival any evening I witnessed in cold weather…
If a catastrophic rainstorm is a possibility (and it obviously is), can I request one to obliterate every bachlorette in this city? I know that comment may offend anyone and I know that I’ve spent several sentences on this subject and I assume that you are over reading my opinion… You are not half as over reading my opinion as I am stating my opinion… However, the putrid volume of what I witnessed this evening necessitate several additional sentences…
It’s not that I wish to cuddle another controversy in every column, but the excruciating and excremental behavior seems to escalate… Just when I assume I’ve seen every repugnant and ridiculous utilization of a pink plastic penis, these eventual ex-wives embarrass themselves… They embarrass the sanctity of marriage… A necklace of penises? A name tag which reads baby mama?
I know I said this on twitter… Yet, it’s worth repeating for emphasis…. If you’re wearing a penis on your head (anywhere on your person), your nametag should read stupid… You may as well wear a shirt with the words pathetic trash emblazoned upon it… Because that is what you are… Pathetic trash… Your actions clearly crave attention, which makes you pathetic… Your actions indicate that you have zero respect for yourself, which makes you trash…
I have said repeatedly, heifers have a right to a social life… Bachlorettes have no such right… Heifers may ruin my visual, but their insolence is the result of appearance, which is only partially controllable… Bachlorettes choose their penis attire… They choose their insolence and tastelessness… Thus, I can choose to banish them… (and since I haven’t said it yet, save your e-mails)…
Since I’ve mangled bachlorettes and mentioned heifers, I must intertwine the pair for a moment… Amidst a conversation with Joe Information, I asserted that every bachlorette party was forgettable… He countered that one party, a collection of heifers with flower necklaces, was not… Immediately, I realized what I had always assumed and never admitted… My standards are acceptable… Joe’s are exceedingly low…
As the evening progressed, Lodge Bar’s energy remained impressive… Energy was never a concern… The conversation was prevalent… The dance floor was crushed… I didn’t want to depart because the venue was dull… I considered departing because the composition of those inhabiting the venue was dreadful… Fortunately, the favorites salvaged the evening…
Once again, DJ Michael (and I swear, we will alter that name by the next column) was spectacular… I could spend multiple paragraphs discussing how he cultivated this evening’s superb energy, but I will instead state the obvious… No spinner in this city possesses his mix of audacity and style…
Speaking of audacity and style, Jen Bunny frolicked in the spotlight… With the vast majority of muffins, it’s an aspect or a pair of aspects that capture your attention…. With Jen Bunny, it’s the entire experience… Whether encouraging mass consumption of a shot, dancing, or compelling you to dance, Jen is a mesmerizing encounter… She is simply someone attention craves…
While Jen Bunny was alluring, Lindsey Natural ensorcelled my attention… I know I have discussed off the rack previously and even enumerated several examples, but Lindsey Natural (hence her gloss), may be the perfect personification of the term… With a Coach purse on her arm and the most engaging eyes of any platinum bunny I have encountered, Lindsey never invites anyone’s attention… She simply owns it…
Whether it’s dancing on the stage (which wasn’t unique to her) or ordering a shot while singing “Mmmbop,” Lindsey possesses an effortless quality that ninety percent of bunnies (even though they are bunnies) still covet… She will never struggle for the spotlight… Her personality will simply provide it for her…
Another platinum bunny and consistent spotlight object is Lodge Bar Promotions Superstar Kattie Minx… Typically, my mentions are predicated upon an amusing anecdote or important insight the favorite provides… For the purpose of this column material, I don’t need paragraphs to justify Kattie’s inclusion… I don’t need sentences either…. I simply need one unambiguous ten-word statement… No one can rock a pink dress as she can…
I know I promised an Alexa story, but the truth is, I don’t have one… Not one that would rival her previous exploits…. This wasn’t an evening where she danced the cupid shuffle… This wasn’t an evening where she utilized bar equipment as a microphone… On her final evening (see, I explained the title), Alexa was simply the professional, thorough server one would expect…
One month ago, Rick Genius and I shared a conversation and while I will leave the vast majority private, one statement he made merits reprinting… “Alexa could teach servers in this town at their profession ten years about how to be a server…” Rick is correct… Precocious personality aside (although we heart it), Alexa is preeminent in her profession…
As I stood behind the stage, staring toward the Lodge bunnies making it rain napkins, I reflected upon a repetitious question I have received… Anyone who doesn’t comprehend the volume of coverage this venue receives, should meet Jen Bunny, Rick Genius, Joe Information, Kattie Minx, Lindsey Natural, and the intoxicating tart… They should stand with me behind the stage starting toward the entrancing visual… Then, they should consider their question answered…
Theoretically, Alexa’s Summer Escape (I’ll explain the title) was this evening’s subject. The intoxicating tart will receive the requisite number of sentences, but as frequently occurs obvious and unexpected column material presented itself… And by presented itself, I mean alcohol, embarrassment, and randomness were involved…
Since warm weather commenced, Lodge Bar’s crowd is difficult to evaluate. They separate themselves between the main room and the patio… I would label the individual cliques as scattered, then I pause and consider that if a catastrophic rainstorm struck, the combined mass would rival any evening I witnessed in cold weather…
If a catastrophic rainstorm is a possibility (and it obviously is), can I request one to obliterate every bachlorette in this city? I know that comment may offend anyone and I know that I’ve spent several sentences on this subject and I assume that you are over reading my opinion… You are not half as over reading my opinion as I am stating my opinion… However, the putrid volume of what I witnessed this evening necessitate several additional sentences…
It’s not that I wish to cuddle another controversy in every column, but the excruciating and excremental behavior seems to escalate… Just when I assume I’ve seen every repugnant and ridiculous utilization of a pink plastic penis, these eventual ex-wives embarrass themselves… They embarrass the sanctity of marriage… A necklace of penises? A name tag which reads baby mama?
I know I said this on twitter… Yet, it’s worth repeating for emphasis…. If you’re wearing a penis on your head (anywhere on your person), your nametag should read stupid… You may as well wear a shirt with the words pathetic trash emblazoned upon it… Because that is what you are… Pathetic trash… Your actions clearly crave attention, which makes you pathetic… Your actions indicate that you have zero respect for yourself, which makes you trash…
I have said repeatedly, heifers have a right to a social life… Bachlorettes have no such right… Heifers may ruin my visual, but their insolence is the result of appearance, which is only partially controllable… Bachlorettes choose their penis attire… They choose their insolence and tastelessness… Thus, I can choose to banish them… (and since I haven’t said it yet, save your e-mails)…
Since I’ve mangled bachlorettes and mentioned heifers, I must intertwine the pair for a moment… Amidst a conversation with Joe Information, I asserted that every bachlorette party was forgettable… He countered that one party, a collection of heifers with flower necklaces, was not… Immediately, I realized what I had always assumed and never admitted… My standards are acceptable… Joe’s are exceedingly low…
As the evening progressed, Lodge Bar’s energy remained impressive… Energy was never a concern… The conversation was prevalent… The dance floor was crushed… I didn’t want to depart because the venue was dull… I considered departing because the composition of those inhabiting the venue was dreadful… Fortunately, the favorites salvaged the evening…
Once again, DJ Michael (and I swear, we will alter that name by the next column) was spectacular… I could spend multiple paragraphs discussing how he cultivated this evening’s superb energy, but I will instead state the obvious… No spinner in this city possesses his mix of audacity and style…
Speaking of audacity and style, Jen Bunny frolicked in the spotlight… With the vast majority of muffins, it’s an aspect or a pair of aspects that capture your attention…. With Jen Bunny, it’s the entire experience… Whether encouraging mass consumption of a shot, dancing, or compelling you to dance, Jen is a mesmerizing encounter… She is simply someone attention craves…
While Jen Bunny was alluring, Lindsey Natural ensorcelled my attention… I know I have discussed off the rack previously and even enumerated several examples, but Lindsey Natural (hence her gloss), may be the perfect personification of the term… With a Coach purse on her arm and the most engaging eyes of any platinum bunny I have encountered, Lindsey never invites anyone’s attention… She simply owns it…
Whether it’s dancing on the stage (which wasn’t unique to her) or ordering a shot while singing “Mmmbop,” Lindsey possesses an effortless quality that ninety percent of bunnies (even though they are bunnies) still covet… She will never struggle for the spotlight… Her personality will simply provide it for her…
Another platinum bunny and consistent spotlight object is Lodge Bar Promotions Superstar Kattie Minx… Typically, my mentions are predicated upon an amusing anecdote or important insight the favorite provides… For the purpose of this column material, I don’t need paragraphs to justify Kattie’s inclusion… I don’t need sentences either…. I simply need one unambiguous ten-word statement… No one can rock a pink dress as she can…
I know I promised an Alexa story, but the truth is, I don’t have one… Not one that would rival her previous exploits…. This wasn’t an evening where she danced the cupid shuffle… This wasn’t an evening where she utilized bar equipment as a microphone… On her final evening (see, I explained the title), Alexa was simply the professional, thorough server one would expect…
One month ago, Rick Genius and I shared a conversation and while I will leave the vast majority private, one statement he made merits reprinting… “Alexa could teach servers in this town at their profession ten years about how to be a server…” Rick is correct… Precocious personality aside (although we heart it), Alexa is preeminent in her profession…
As I stood behind the stage, staring toward the Lodge bunnies making it rain napkins, I reflected upon a repetitious question I have received… Anyone who doesn’t comprehend the volume of coverage this venue receives, should meet Jen Bunny, Rick Genius, Joe Information, Kattie Minx, Lindsey Natural, and the intoxicating tart… They should stand with me behind the stage starting toward the entrancing visual… Then, they should consider their question answered…
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