Memorial Weekend Waste Simply Another Sideshow

Immerse yourself within this city’s nightlife and you will achieve a realization. It is the circus. The drink slingers and promotions superstars are the attractions. The bunnies, bunny chasers, intoxicated, and randoms are the spectacle. And the margin separating the cliques is negligible.

Prior to Cinco de Mayo and St. Patrick’s Day, I had minimal and moderated expectations… I should have maintained similar skepticism for Memorial Day. I assumed the comfortable weather and weekend placement would instinctively entice the masses into various venues. What I forgot was that this city calendars only Thursday, Friday, and Saturday for the purposes of inebriation…

Throughout the evening, Lodge Bar was scattered. With music inside and outside, the crowd remained energetic. A plurality of chairs were occupied. Several tables were occupied. Still, the crowd never resembled or rivaled Mardi Gras… It never even resembled or rivaled four days ago, when the venue secured scoreboard over Sugar Bar… (Trust me, the results were different this evening)…

While I typically covet crowd and energy, scattered evenings produce spectacular column material…. And no one is more spectacular column material or simply spectacular than Lodge Bar Promotions Superstar Jen Bunny… As she danced, flirted, laughed, and talked, it was impossible to extract my attention from her (And I suppose it helped that I didn’t actually want to)… It’s not as if Lodge Bar isn’t littered with platinum… However, Jen Bunny is an immaculate marquee amongst their several scrumptious solitaires (for those unfamiliar with the terminology, google diamonds)…

Jen Bunny was marvelous material, but Jake Wisdom provided the evening’s signature conversation… Since my initial appearance at Lodge Bar, I must have spoken with Jake on two dozen occasions… What makes every conversation valuable is the expertise and knowledge I acquire by simply listening… I may offer parameters or topics, but Jake owns the conversation…
Within thirty minutes of my arrival at Lodge Bar (for those of you lost, this is what you might term a flashback), I received a phone call and stepped outside the venue… As I spoke on my phone, Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar Co-Owner Mike Gallichio pulls alongside the curb… He asks if I reside or work at Lodge Bar… I answer no… He then asks why I spend the hours I spend at Lodge Bar if I don’t reside or work there….

Obviously, I expect venue executives and promotions superstars to campaign and request coverage… However, Sugar Bar’s continuous campaigning is ridiculous… They critique other venues… They protest our coverage… They seek attention… Do I never venture into their venue? (Wait, I am in their venue almost every evening)… Sugar Bar is an exemplary scene and their owners shouldn’t campaign… They should simply enjoy what I type…

They should also enjoy what I twitter, if and when the conversations cease and allow me to twitter… I can’t say this enough, I adore and respect everyone that I encounter… They make this website possible… However, their charm and my penchant for never shutting up are impeding my reporting… Half of my evenings are conversations… Seventy percent of my evenings should be reporting…

Eventually, I entered Sugar Bar, which enjoyed a swarmed night… I could spend multiple paragraphs discussing that, but I will instead focus on the conversations, which captivated most of my attention… Jen Excellence and Molly Style are the most amusing and random pair in this city… Whether it’s mocking the masses or promoting themselves, they are never sans confidence or a concise retort…

Shawn Money and Avi Primetime are a pair which separately provide enough column material for a month and jointly provide enough column material for the next two years… They are entertaining and informative… They are sarcastic and serious… They comprehend what their occupation is and isn’t… Whereas the masses want to be them for an evening, they wouldn’t mind being one of the masses…

And now I must mention another superstar, someone I met only two evenings ago, but someone who has already earned several conversations and a twitter mention… Sugar Bar Promotions Superstar Whitney Allure… You appreciate her presence for five minutes… You speak with her for ten minutes… And you can’t completely understand her… Behind her crystal appearance, she is a New Life Crisis song… She’s blessed, depressed… Her inner beauty remains confined…

Preventing one completely vacant evening was Park Street Patio, who was swarmed from the moment I arrived until the moment I closed my phone… Every chair as occupied… Every table was occupied… And their music was incredible… I’m unaware as to how much money was raised, but if the event served as an indication, the coffers should be crushed…

Speaking of worthy causes, I enjoyed a twenty-minute conversation with Crawl for Cancer Organizer JP Ratajczak, whose event (which will include all afternoon and evening twitter coverage) is less than one week away… As one speaks with JP, he is clearly scattered and swarmed with details… Yet, his workload doesn’t detract from his intrigue or passion for the event that his consumed his persona…

I cannot conclude this column without mentioning Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar Promotions Superstar Randy Haffey, whose success I referenced earlier… On a regrettable and scattered evening, Haffey executed an eighteen-carat success. His triumph merits praise, not only for the charitable contribution it provided, but for the highlight it intermixed into an otherwise horrific night…

As light illuminated the five venues that were available this evening, bunnies, bunny chasers, and randoms staggered toward their cars… Drink slingers counted receipts, emptied trash, and scrubbed bottles… This was not an evening either clique had expected… Yet, each was only hours away from another evening in the center ring…

These Were Their Stories

Every evening in this city, an identical and inquisitive refrain is applicable. Tell me baby, what's your story… Where you come from and where you wanna go this time… (And yes, those are lyrics from something)…

Upon my arrival for the G&Co Spring Fashion Showcase, Sugar Bar’s exterior was crushed. It’s not as if other venues arrivals are not protracted, but they sweep their swarm out of sight through a series of ropes… The visual of four dozen potential patrons, talking and texting, standing in the open air in a parade which consumes more than a block is the signature and most unique aspect of Sugar Bar…

Since I mentioned signature, unique, and visual, I must discuss Sugar Bar Promotions Superstars Jen Excellence and Molly Style whose apparel and personalities are perfect compliments (especially on this evening)… Dressed in Christian Audigier print and white, Jen and Molly appeared the polar opposite of their typical attire (black)… However, Jen’s staccato sniping and Molly’s subtle supportiveness were evocative of why they are intoxicating conversations…

Approximately fifteen minutes after my arrival, I entered into the centerpiece attraction of the evening, Promotions Superstar Randee Limelight’s venue premiere… Her section was swarmed… I will discuss it’s composition in a moment, but I must mention this initially… No other section was… The dance floor was scattered… The upper and lower mezzanines were vacant… Clearly, Randee’s initial hour was a success… But, success has diverse definitions…

As for the composition, bunnies and randoms were surprisingly even… Why surprisingly? If you ever meet Randee (and if you have the opportunity, seize it), she exudes the allure of someone who spends their evenings surrounded by platinum bunnies… Potentially, these were my expectations only, but when I arrived, I expected a crush of platinum bunnies… Randee was the only one…

Not that I am opposed to her individual perfection, which trust me was visible this evening… Dressed in platinum with sequins (and yes, the platinum bunny chose the dress for the person who originated the phrase), Randee appeared more scrumptious and stunning than I have ever witnessed… I know I reference eighteen or thirty-six carats when discussing bunnies, but I cannot when discussing her… Randee’s exquisiteness is simply incomprehensible…

I know what you’re thinking… My reaction to her is favorable… My reaction to her promotion is unfavorable… You would be incorrect… My reaction to her is favorable, but my reaction to her promotion is also favorable… This was her premiere… She performed adequately and her performance will improve… If she had crushed the venue in her opening act, the only second act would be failure…

Speaking of second acts, you may remember I scorched Zachary Sin’s Red Planet Fashion Show… Tonight, G&Co redeemed Sin… The collection was not perfect… The showcase itself lagged… However, Red Planet’s completely calamity was avoided… G&Co exhibited several superb pieces, which should own this summer’s style…

The collection’s signature combination was a gorgeous white top, casual enough to work as date attire, versatile enough to work as office attire… The model who wore the ensemble rivaled Randee as the prize bunny of the evening… Perfect structure, perfect hair, and a face, which any artist could not have replicated…

While the women’s collection contained three other notable pieces, I must focus on the men’s collection, not for it’s acceptable constitution, but for the male models who once again with their antics, reflected poorly on their employers… Male models, keep your freaking shirts on… We all know you have abs… Abs are likely how you became a male model… Also, you are walking the runway at a fashion show… Some of us (and I mean me) want to judge the fashion (not your porn prospects)…

Tonight, a half dozen stories were presented within a three-hour period… Half were what we expected… Half have opportunities to re-present in the future… The only question is where will they go next time?

BREAKING: Sugar Scores Nightlife Notable

Nightlife Notable and Promotions Superstar Randee Limelight will join Sugar Bar, starting this week. Limelight has and will continue publicizing Onyx. Her Sugar colleagues will include Tori Lioness, Shawn Money, Avi Primetime, and Molly Style.

The Taste For Victory

Individual confrontation is the greatest… Boxing, Blackjack, Darts, Tennis… Basketball or golf with only two competitors… The adrenaline rush when you stare into the eyes of your adversary, knowing the choice is either own or be owned, is incomparable… It’s why James Jordan, father of Michael Jordan, was absolutely correct, when he spoke about his wagering… “Michael doesn’t have a gambling problem,” James Jordan said. “He has a competitiveness problem.”

When I arrived at Sugar Bar’s Casino Night, I was determined to cover the entire event (as we always cover entire events)… Although, I knew as soon as I sat down at a blackjack table, I wouldn’t cover anything else… I already hear your thoughts… This column is about me… Well… yeah, it’s mostly about me…

Before I discuss my evening (which I promise, I will hold under one thousand words… just kidding), I must compliment the event… Once again, Sugar Bar and Park Street Patio showcased why they are one the most unique venues in this city… The evening was spectacular… The combination of the green felt tables, chips, and tuxedo clad croupiers, in conjunction with Sugar’s customary crush of bunnies produced a speakeasy allure, which was equal parts back alley enclave and Las Vegas strip.

The event was not flawless… Some of the dealers were slow, bordering on novices and the pulsating beat of both venue’s music, made hearing difficult and the tables not immune to shaking… Still, the croupiers, the player’s reactions, the bunnies perching over shoulders of boys that were on streaks (not realizing apparently that the money they were winning as not real)… The evening had all the glam of a casino and all the mischief of a fraternity social…

Now, as you requested (sarcasm), back to me… As soon as I swapped out my first faux cash (I had $6,000 to play with…) for the shimmering black circles, engraved with “100,” the bunnies became nonexistent… Carrie Underwood could have walked in at that moment, walked up to me, and whispered “your place or mine” in my ear and I wouldn’t have budged… It was me, my stack of chips, the cards, and that dealer… That son of a, piece of, dealt me a ten, when I had a nine and a three dealer…

After an initial two victories and a set of losing hands (at least a half dozen, where I could not buy a card)… I located the zone… I started frolicking in the zone… Every card came up as desired and the bets increased… Steady stacks of 250 that turned into 500, 500 that turned 1,000, 750 that turned into 1,500… I was blazing… When, by 1:30, they announced they were concluding (concluding? What? I could do this all evening…), I had turned my $6,000 into $10,000… And my evening into a future V.I.P. evening at Park Street Patio…

As I walked the dance floor gauntlet from Park Street through Sugar Bar to reconnect with promotions superstars Avi and Molly, my mind wasn’t on the cards… As I shook hands with Avi, my mind didn’t think about the hands I won… As I hugged the perfectly exquisite Molly, my mind didn’t think about the hands I lost… But, as I departed Sugar Bar and entered the cold night air, I wanted to be back at that table…

One Exquisite Evening

In this city, there are hundreds of memorable nights and dozens of amazing nights. A spectacular night requires an extra element. Memorable nights and amazing nights have alcohol and anticipation, splendor and success… Yet, spectacular nights have that aspect memorable and amazing nights will never…

Upon my arrival at Sugar Bar, one could note the presence of said extra element (and if you don’t know the “element” I’m referencing, you’ve obviously taken up residence in an undisclosed location)… Three hours prior to the arrival of Brody Jenner, Park Street Patio (which really should be given the nickname of official pre-game location for Sugar weekends) was buzzing…

As I walked from table to table, there were not the small groups which would normally arrive an hour before to enjoy one beer before bunny chasing… On this night, there were packs… Six, eight, and ten boy and bunny packs consuming shots, discussing the aforementioned celebrity… The energy not normally present in Sugar Bar until midnight on an ordinary evening, was vibrant at nine p.m. on this evening…

While I will take some credit for the promotion of this evening (first of all, I ran multiple announcements and second of all, if you don’t give yourself credit, who will), I must heap credit upon several members of the Sugar-Park Street management team… I know I’ve discussed factions or individual members of other venue’s management, but I will say without hesitation, no ensemble, despite different personalities, outperforms Sugar-Park Street…

Owners Chris Corso and Mike Gallicchio not only enjoy their occupations, they not only succeed at their occupations, they revel in their occupations… Promotions superstars Avi, Brian, Molly, and Tori could sell bubblegum in a lockjaw ward… And Randy, is in a word, omnipresent… He is always there, always anticipating, always with the correct answer…

As two hours elapsed, the anticipation of Jenner’s arrival and the crowd clamoring for that arrival, only exploded… I know I have discussed what a late city this is, and on most nights, you could set your watch for a midnight turnout, but on this night, the city announced their presence early… There were lines stacked twenty deep on the street, the dance floor was slammed, even the hallways, entranceway, and steps were crowded… (And if one were to line up every bunny that had arrived prior to midnight, I am certain they could encircle the walk from Park Street to Nationwide Arena)…

Now, I must at this point say the following (I promise, we will return to the bunnies momentarily)… I am not often jealous of someone else’s job… I have a good job and even if I were broke, I still normally don’t lust after another person’s occupation… With that said, rules have exceptions, and I am jealous of Chris Corso’s job…

Having the title of venue owner will score you some points… Being as successful as Chris has been, will undoubtedly score you some more… But, Chris Corso’s point total on this evening was simply ridiculous… Standing to the right of the main bar, surrounded by four, exquisite, off the chart, bunnies, I had to admit, for the first time in forever, I wanted someone else’s job… The platinum parade dancing with him, sipping drinks with him, talking to him was an embarrassment of riches…

Speaking of embarrassments of visual riches… I’ve discussed before, the ability of bunnies to wear anything, (potato sack, blanket, rug, end of a mop) as an outfit and get away with it… But, the variations on this night stretched all conceivable boundaries… From the seemingly painted on black dresses to the form flattering animal prints to the cutting edge ensembles, the bunnies tastes were exceptional…

I know you’re thinking, he has been talking for ten paragraphs… But, finally, the moment in this column and the evening arrived, Brody Jenner entered, slightly past midnight, surrounded by a phalanx of security, which would have made President Obama jealous… He was escorted to a table amidst screams and digital photography flashes and one could convey from his smile that he enjoyed every second of it…

As security scrambled to create enough room in his section and the bunnies swarmed for the best position from which to take a picture from or with him or get close enough to touch him, the entire episode unfolded like an Elton John song… Primas and prima donnas seeking space… Jenner, sitting like a prince, perched in his electric chair…

Since I mentioned Elton John songs (Thursday night’s alright for fighting)… Forty minutes (approximately) after Jenner’s arrival, the inevitable occurred… Feet from my twitter position, a fight ensued and three security guards quickly found themselves escorting, scratch that, dragging an intoxicated moron from the venue… Only this moron was really special, because after getting dragged from the mezzanine through the bar and the hall, he attempted to fight a trio of cops in the street… (I’m not completely smart, but I know, even when intoxicated, never to take on a cop)…

With the intoxicated moron (last time I will use the phrase, I promise) ousted, the attention returned (like it ever left) to Jenner, who continued humbly lapping it up… An hour later, the obviously not shy reality star finally spoke… “Are there any guys here that go to Ohio State,” he asked. “Are there any girls here that go to Ohio State? Are there any guys here that want f*** girls who go to Ohio State?” (His gift for interesting conversation aside, the venue sizzled with approval)…

About thirty minutes and another two hundred or so camera flashes after that statement, Jenner, engulfed again by security, walked from his table toward the exit… His head was down; he had a slight swagger, although he was clearly tired… He reminded me of a boxer who had just fought… He wanted more adulation, but could not stand to take it… He was rushed down the hall and into a waiting cab and if what I know of him is correct, he has called Lauren Conrad twice by now (just kidding)…

Amidst Jenner’s appearance, Dr. Mojoe provided another dazzling highlight, as they unveiled their spring collection… Having been to the store once and not having been very impressed, I did not know what to expect from this show, but understood that anything they showcased could only improve my opinion… They did more than improve my opinion… They impressed me… Their color choices were inspired, their patterns were appealing, and their styles were exceptional…

I will offer this caution… Dr. Mojoe chose the perfect collection of models for the items showcased… It was almost as if they fit the model to the clothes, instead of the other way around… Thus, there is the chance that clothes on the rack will appear less than desirable… With that said, and while I will review the collection more in-depth, I would recommend the impressive apparel…

Brody Jenner, fashion brilliance, a superb staff, personalities, and bunnies everywhere… Although I had never forgotten, tonight Sugar made me remember why the venue, on it’s greatest nights, owns this city’s nightlife… It’s not enough to get in the door… You want to be dancing with the table full of bunnies, with a bottle of champagne on that table… You want to be doing shots with the promoters in the V.I.P. Mezzanine… You want to be on the stage, in the dj booth, at the table next to the millionaire’s son… It’s this combination, part Les Deux and part Studio 54, that make Sugar a fantasy land that one you walk away from, you want to walk right back into…

And make no mistake; this was one of those greatest nights… As I stood in the mezzanine, I glanced toward the dance floor bar, where Chris Corso was standing… Eye contact, I nodded, he nodded… No words necessary… That look of recognition sealed this evening’s perfection…