A Public Service Announcement From Generation One A.M.

Generation One A.M. conducts meetings when the vast majority of our city is asleep. We connect in casual and unimaginable ways. We consume more alcohol in four years, than our parents consumed in twenty. We make important choices via facebook, instant message, and text. We seek the spotlight in any manner imaginable. If any or all of these illustrate you, you are of this generation.

Upon my arrival for Dos de Mayo, Lodge Bar was crushed. When I say I crushed, I don’t mean merely impassable walkways. I mean the entrance line consumed half a block, there was a two deep stack in the red room, and the patio crowd could have exceeded the Garage Bar’s capacity. The menagerie of patrons, dancing, drinking, singing and talking was incomprehensible.

And whereas the bunnies were scarce at McFadden’s, Lodge Bar’s every area was a bunny clutch. You couldn’t walk ten steps and not encounter one… They were on the stage, on the dance floor, seated at tables, talking with their friends, and guzzling alcohol as if it were chocolate… If you were a single male and you couldn’t induce one into a conversation, you were either an ox or you weren’t trying…

And these were fashionable bunnies… No couch patters or outdated logos were present… Vogue could have done an entire shoot this evening… The colors were bright and vibrant… The prints were leopard, zebra, and others… The form flattery was also perfect… One could easily locate any cut and clarity they desired…

From every angle, the top railing above the dance floor, behind the stage, on the steps adjacent to the DJ booth, in the entranceway, the panorama of bunnies was exquisite… I didn’t regret my previous two hours spent at McFadden’s… I simply regretted that I didn’t have two more hours to enjoy the panorama…

What made the evening exceptional and unique was that throughout the two hours I twittered, I barely spoke with any Lodge Bar employees… Now, I know what you are thinking, I have a minimum of one employees name in every column… How could I say not speaking with them was an exceptional evening? Simple… the crushed spectacle satisfied both of our objectives… I got column material and they got paid…

What was unsatisfying was yet another varied display of bachelorette debauchery… I know I have mentioned this previously and allow me to say that as a member (and essentially founder) of Generation One A.M., I am not opposed to excess… However (and this is a huge however), excess and stupidity are entirely opposite… Excessive is consuming one more Soco and Lime than you should have and dancing on the bar… Stupid is wearing a pink plastic penis on your head and mimicking anally assaulting a stuffed bear…

And while I am on the subject, why are the penis displays necessary? Bunnies and heifers, males know what they are… They know what they will be inserting into you after you make them go through a week of flowers, guests, and vows… They don’t need, and more specifically the rest of this city doesn’t need to see you wear one on your head to show us you are getting married… That cubic zirconia on your finger makes that point…

I have said it before, I will repeat it again… I’m not demeaning weddings and if, the night before, the bride to be wants to get crazy, I am fine with that… However, avoid displays that make the rest of us want to throw up… We don’t need your crowns or your sashes or pink plastic penises….

What I could have enjoyed, and I’m assuming the crowd would have enjoyed also, was another three or four sets from Mission 19, who proliferated an already nuclear energy… I had seen Ryan and Joe perform previously and I knew what to expect… Yet, as they reveled in the crowd’s energy, as they stoked that energy, you could view them elevating their performance…

It’s not the song selection or even the vocals that epitomize Ryan and Joe… What makes them special, what sets any band apart, is their personality… As they create energy, consume shots, interact with the crowd, and sing, you sense that their persona isn’t contrived… What they are showcasing on stage isn’t an act… They are this entertaining…

My observation was confirmed within ten minutes of their final song, when Ryan I spoke off stage… Given his “99 Problems” rendition, I suggested (only half-jokingly) that he should sing “Public Service Announcement” when the band returns for Red White and Boom… Ryan (who said on stage several times that he was drunk) proceeded to almost flawlessly rattle off the song… He said afterward it’s a personal favorite, but that’s irrelevant… Anyone with that level of knowledge and skill is remarkable…

Equally remarkable was the man in the spotlight when Mission 19 was not in the spotlight, Lodge Bar Saturday Night DJ Michael… Now, some mixers would see the between sets opportunity as a moment for their own agenda… Michael didn’t and I applaud him… He kept a packed dance floor pulsating with “Single Ladies,” “Poker Face,” and “If You Seek Amy…” There are DJ’s in this city that could learn from him…

As Michael spun his closing selections and the evening concluded, predictably bizarre and yet still entertaining behavior ensued… An apparently disgruntled girl wrote on her receipt “give me better service f&ck&r.” Exactly, what did she believe she would accomplish? If someone is terrible, you leave them a minimal tip… You don’t insult them on your receipt or the next time (and there’s always a next time), they spit in your cocktail…

Then, there was Seth (and no his name isn’t actually Seth, I’m using that because of this scene in Entourage)… With one minute remaining for legal alcohol purchases, he requested a Jager Bomb… He was informed that it was cash only… And he offered one hundred dollars… I’m serious… He offered one hundred dollars for a shot… Ignore for a moment that he was intoxicated (actually plastered is the word)… When he woke up in the morning, he would have had to wrestle with an impossible question… Which was worse, the hangover or the fact that he will now be short on his bills?

With the lights brightened and the crowd exiting the premises, I could finally speak with the evening’s true stars… Mike and Nick, two of the most insightful people I encounter on a weekly basis… Jake, one of the most genuine people I have met since I started this website… Promotions Superstar, bartender, and biscuit Jen Bunny, who I think said five words to me, but yet remained adorable…

The two most notable closing conversations were with (and anyone could have seen this coming) Crown Princess Kadi and Promotions Superstar\Bartender Kattie… Princess and I could talk everyday and yet every conversation with her could last two hours… Her personality is that infectious… Kattie is delightful… Her age exceeds 21, of that I am almost positive, and yet her appearance remains completely scrumptious…

As almost a half dozen conversations concluded, the thoughts of the stars and myself were universal… After an abysmal Friday night, where rain dictated the agenda, Generation One A.M. responded with a provocative, one sentence statement… Allow me to reintroduce myself…