Lodge Bar’s Brilliant Blend

Ohio Stadium has a recipe. The recipe makes every moment memorable…Every visit special and unique. Celebrity. Personality. Tradition. It’s sitting on the first level, staring at former Buckeyes, who are spending their NFL off weeks, in the stadium which launched them into the professional ranks… It’s watching the fans who paint themselves, decorate their signs, and dress like Woody Hayes… And it’s sitting in a stadium first opened in 1922, cheering a team which first played in 1890…

Lodge Bar’s recipe is the same… McFadden’s has personality. Sugar has celebrity. The Varsity Club has tradition… But, Lodge Bar subtly blends the trio and in so doing, makes you forget that you’re in a bar, just as Ohio Stadium makes you forget you’re in a simple sports arena…

Upon my arrival, the crowd (which I assume included several who were anticipating Kourtney Kardashian’s appearance) was already impressive. Their energy was palpable… They weren’t the eight p.m. crowd that you typically encounter in this city, scattered, solemn, working their first beer… These clusters (minimum of four with several groups exceeding seven or eight) were buzzing… They were the crowd every bar craves at any hour…

I’m assuming (only assuming) that Lodge’s unique variety of alcohol had something to do with the buzzing… Now, I have previously visited Lodge Bar (The NBC Charity Toy Drive)… But, apparently, I missed a detail on that night… Several details actually… The methods through which people were consuming their alcohol were via (and again, I’m only assuming) a combination of creativity and insanity…

The Bucky’s Bowl… A fish bowl container, filled to the brim with (what again I am only assuming) mixed drinks… The Coors Light Pitchers… I believe one could rapidly consume enough alcohol from them for a series of sweet dreams… The Molson Towers… Similar to what Quaker Steak and Lube offers, but this tube ascends from a hockey helmet… And I thought Columbus didn’t appreciate the Blue Jackets…

Consuming this treasure trove of alcohol from the various treasure chests were a collection of bunnies, which will be hard to replicate… Yes, there was a binge of potential prizewinning heifers which I discussed on twitter… However, they were overmatched by the bunnies who shook their asses, swallowed their shots, and through several unique fashion choices, made whiplash a welcome affliction…

While the consumer bunnies were superb, the staff bunnies were simply scrumptious… Three waitresses whose petite size and understated beauty reminded anyone that simple remains elegant… And a beer tub girl who could melt ice with her gorgeous… She appeared bored, which was completely acceptable, as this induced her to dance, as a means to keep herself entertained… That dancing was every male’s highlight this evening…

As impressive as the quartet I have just mentioned were, I cannot compare them to the crown jewel… Kadi… I know what you’re thinking… I’ve applauded Abby (Frog Bear and Wild Boar); I’ve touted Taryn (McFadden’s)… Kadi is simply their equivalent at Lodge Bar… Comparing Abby and Taryn to Kadi (although both are beautiful) is like comparing a Twix candy bar to German Chocolate Cake… Kadi is exquisite…. Blonde hair, perfect face, and a smile that (in the event of another wind storm) could light this city… Yes, in other bars, I will rave about other bartenders… But, Kadi is the unquestioned standard.

Speaking of standards, My Zero Hero may want to apply some the next time they choose a set list… Do not misunderstand, the band is outstanding and I was impressed with several of their selections (both song choice and execution)… Unfortunately, the search for diversity ruined what could have been a stellar performance… Two notable songs, both of which I discussed on twitter, stained their entire pair of sets… “I Love Rock and Roll” and “So What”… Both are personal favorites. However, Joan Jett, Britney Spears, and Pink are all women… My Zero Hero is all male…

Their interpretations of the two songs were acceptable… But, I couldn’t get past the fact that both were sung by, I believe also written by, women. As I said, My Zero Hero is an exemplary quartet and I would absolutely listen to them again… But, they require change… Anything with a female singer on the original title, needs to be dropped…

What doesn’t need to be dropped is their rendition of the timeless “Sweet Caroline,” which provided the evening’s signature moment… I expected the crowd refrain during the chorus, that tradition runs the length of our nation… What I didn’t expect was the visual… Hundreds singing the song, girls covering the stage, and Bucky, a stuffed something wearing a Chris Wells jersey (I assume he is the Lodge Bar mascot) dancing on the speakers… Add the act that their follow-up song was “Sloopy” and you can only imagine the perfect memory that occurred…

Obviously, I cannot run this entire wrap without mentioning the attraction, which we promoted three times this week… Kourtney Kardashian… Her ensemble was stunning… Shimmering silver vest and black leather boots… Her facial expression ran the spectrum, occasionally smiling and interacting with fans… Occasionally, appearing bored and staring into her blackberry… While she may not have been continuously happy, those who scored pictures and autographs certainly were… Lodge Bar deserves great credit for placing a unique celebrity in a unique environment… They succeeded…

Now I have already received a half dozen e-mails with the same question… Why did my twitter updates cut off abruptly after speaking with Kourtney? Without details (and this involves a friend, so please don’t ask), I received a text message that a friend had encountered trouble at another venue in the Arena District… I immediately bolted Lodge Bar for that venue and my friend, as of this moment, is out of trouble… That’s honestly all I can say on the subject and I apologize for the twitter turmoil…

As I near a thousand words, I will conclude where I commenced… Any bar can have celebrity, personality, or tradition… Some bars have two of the three… But, Lodge, unique, even in a section of two where bars outnumber parking meters, stands alone… A monument to the perfect recipe and what can be accomplished with it…