Three Bars, All Wow

Walk the four minutes between Park and Vine Streets… Not the city’s most famous stretch (that’s Lane)… Not the city’s most traveled stretch (that’s High)… But, those four minutes reverberate with a beat and an energy and a pulse, which is truly unequaled…

Upon my arrival at Lodge Bar (approximately 9:40), I could have counted stools or logs or cracks in the bar…. The place was that empty… I know Thursday night crowds are traditionally late arriving, but seriously, less than ten people (not counting staff) in a major bar on a quasi-weekend evening?

A potential factor in the lackluster commencement was the cancellation of the OSU Greek Guest Bartending Competition (which we promoted and came out to cover)… According to a source, the Kappa Delta representative was prevented from competing due to the sorority’s regulations against alcohol (Greek Life regulations against alcohol? Are you serious?)…

Amidst this non-competition lull, I started speaking with Rick, a bartender with which I had previously spoken…. What started as a conversation about the hiring of two former guest bartenders as actual bartenders evolved into a lesson from a master craftsman… Twenty minutes with Rick (and I know I wrote something similar to this on twitter), reminded me of something I had never forgotten, but never appreciate until I am in this situation… When you have the chance to listen to an artist with passion… Savor it… There is nothing better in this world…

Alright, maybe there is one thing better in this world, and it’s something I never thought I would witness in this venue… A bunny equal to Lodge Bar’s Crown Princess Kadi… If you’ve read before (and I know you have), you know I gushed about Kadi’s every aspect…. You know I called her the incomparable unquestioned standard… For now, she remains this…. However, Lauren is a challenger… If beauty is any indication of personality (which I know its not, but let’s pretend it is)… Lauren should own the hearts (and phone numbers) of every male under twenty-six in this city…

As two hours passed, Lodge Bar went from dead to dull to delicious… As I left to walk those four minutes to Park Street, specifically, the Sugar Bar Columbus Crewzers Date Auction, the crowd was improving… Improving, but nothing equal to what I would encounter at Sugar, which was littered with patrons outside, patrons at tables, patrons on the dance floor, at the bar, and throughout every walk way… When I arrived, Sugar had been open less then two hours and they were crammed (so much for a late arriving crowd)…

Teen minutes after my arrival, I learned that the Date Auction would take place at Park Street Patio… I walked the jammed dance floor, down the darkened hallway, up the stairs, and into Park Street and the vibe couldn’t be more different… Whereas Sugar is a rhythmic, intoxicating enclave of bunnies and bunny chasers, Park Street is a mellow ensemble of conversation and quarters enjoying their evening out… Yes, there is a DJ in both and music in both… But, the adjoining buildings may as well be separated by a couple of continents…

After three trips between Sugar and the Park Street, each more dizzying than the last, the Date Auction commenced… I will discuss the charitable proceeds and the DJ in a moment, but first, I cannot say enough about the auction items… As many of you know from previous writing, I am not a soccer fan… But I think these bunnies could change that…

As they danced and posed and smiled, they looked like normal college women, enjoying their drinks and flaunting their attributes, but once the bidding began, you knew they were so much more… Yes, they are soccer professional cheerleaders, but they are cheerleaders nonetheless and what American male doesn’t want a cheerleader?

The answer to that question was reflected in the bidding… Eight pairs of girls, dozens of bids, and $645 raised for Children’s Hospital… An unbelievably worthy cause… The girls couldn’t have been better representatives of their organization either… Encouraging the bidders and showcasing the personalities that obviously make them worth watching on a nightly basis…

Not worth watching or listening to on any basis was the Auctioneer\DJ, a putrid, unprepared weasel, whose hours preparing jokes about the Crewzers sexual preferences obviously trumped (by a substantial margin), his hours preparing for this auction… Half of the names he read for the auction weren’t in attendance, he didn’t know until half way through who the benefiting charity was, and he decided at the opening to do the girls in pairs, rather than individually (which likely could have made more money)…. Don’t get me wrong, the auction was a success and Sugar and Park Street should be proud of themselves… I am proud of them… But that DJ should never work again…

After the auction wrapped, I walked the four minutes back to Lodge Bar…. Why you ask? Because a manager had told me to stop back because, in his words, Lodge would be slammed busy after midnight… I would have bet my alcohol consumption for a month that wouldn’t the case… Glad I didn’t bet… When I walked in, the previously impressive bunny population had quintupled…

Bunnies on the dance floor, music pumping, a thousand random conversations (as opposed to the ten that were taking place when I left)… I found the manager and asked how did he know… Seriously, was he hiding these people in a closet when I left? I know what I’m doing he told me… Apparently, he does…

In addition to a more favorable impression of their evening, my return to Lodge Bar netted me an extensive conversation with WNCI DJ Gonzo… As the lights came up and Lodge Bar closed for the night, he and I discussed everything from the economic impact on clubs to the economic impact on the average person… It was the kind of meaningful conversation two young professionals have when they know potential, far outweighs their present circumstances…

The long conversation, which finally ended around 2:20, concluded an evening in which two events were covered, three venues were entered, three potential interviews (Gonzo, the Crewzers, and the political interview we teased on twitter) materialized, and tidbit after tidbit of breaking news was whispered into my ear… That’s the thing about this city… On any given evening, if you just listen, reverberates with a beat and an energy and a pulse, which is truly unequaled…