Love the Logos, Hate the Losers

Random is intriguing. Ridiculous is simply stupid. Alice in Wonderland’s Cheshire cat standing on top his own head and asking “can you stand on your head” is random. The Cheshire cat converting head into a soccer ball and kicking it past the Columbus Crew goalie is ridiculous. Understand the difference?

When I arrived, Sugar was empty. The booths, the dance floor, the tables… they spelled empty in capital letters. Thankfully, a lower scoring than I would have imagined slugfest between Florida and Oklahoma provided welcome entertainment. I stood and watched the game, which Sugar thoughtfully had on every television screen, likely with the same pair of thoughts in mind as every Sugar Bar employee I saw… Those two thoughts being, when will people arrive and why is Oklahoma’s offense playing so miserable?

As Florida assumed command of the fourth quarter (first by a field goal and eventually by their winning margin of double digits), they started to trickle in. Four guys and three girls. A trio of bunnies. Another trio of bunnies. Two guys. As the college football season concluded, the crowd was expanded, but remained reserved.

Twenty minutes later, the crowd exploded. Bunnies in booths, bunnies at tables, bunnies on the dance floor, and the street cast of the Wire looking to hit on all of them (more on that momentarily)… I must pause at this point to thank (by name) Avi Primetime and Brian Swanson… As we teased all week, Gossip Cbus was a co-sponsor of the evening and Aaron and Brian were phenomenal, making sure our logo was exquisite and on every screen…. Looking at our logo, the same logo you see on this website, on their television screens… my evening was perfect…

Perfect, albeit slightly scattered, given the crowd that had accumulated… I know the first time I experienced Sugar, I raved and this experience overall was similar… I still love the venue… And, just like the first experience, there were bunnies dancing, drinking, shaking their asses… Most were as immaculate as what I had seen the first time….

Unfortunately, ridiculous was also present… A drunken girl who was the spitting image of Amy Winehouse (wardrobe included), one male that should consider a career as a couch (yes, he is that large), and four girls whose every step must register as earthquake weather… And before anyone sends me hate mail, I am not being mea… It is not my fault these four girls had more buns than a day old bakery…

Worse than the bizarre patrons, were the bunnies that chose to hook up with them… One nauseating pairing in particular coupled an adorable doll (black leopard print dress and stunning body) with a Marlo Stanfield imitator with hair that looked like one of my ex’s bad shag carpet… The site of these two dancing, making out, her sitting on his lap with his Yankees (yes Ohio, Yankees) cap on… it was enough to make you vomit… Desperate white girls and Wire castoffs, if you want to hook up (even though you really shouldn’t), there are clubs in this city where you can do this… But, please avoid the ones I attend…

While the site of Cleopatra becoming Cleopatra Jones was annoying, it was not enough to ruin another overall magnificent Sugar experience… You will have random and ridiculous at every spot in this city… The trick is not letting either overtake you… With our logos on the screen (thanks again Avi and Brian), neither could spoil my night…