America is obsessed with celebrity… The celebrity can be illegitimate. It can be self-indulgent. It can even be unfavorable… If someone is assessing, discussing, or replicating you, they are not paying attention to someone else… And that attention is what you crave.
Following my extra hour, I arrived at the Frog Bear and Wild Boar, with minutes remaining until Mindy Hall’s appearance… Now, if you were following us on twitter (and I know some were, I saw your phones)… You would know that I delayed coverage of this event not once, but twice, mostly due to the early anemic crowd… Thankfully, the crowd was vastly improved when I returned…
Amidst the crowd, I encountered Frog Bear and Wild Boar Promotions Superstar Jeff, who was visibly amped for Mindy Hall’s appearance… Our conversation covered (which it seemingly always does), an infinite number of topics… None more memorable or ridiculous than the event several bricks venues have planned for next weekend… The Snuggie Bar Crawl… (Immediately, upon seeing the poster, I had one thought… I can’t cover these venues anymore; they’re encouraging people to wear blankets with sleeves).
Jeff and I’s conversation continued into the Gossip Awards, the Scratch Pack and several other upcoming events… We were also joined by a bunny, who talked faster than most people consume shots… While her conversational tone was perplexing, her point was concise and clear… The Frog Bear and Wild Boar isn’t crushed six days each week, because they don’t market themselves into colleges (My only thought is why not?)…
As the conversation concluded, I encountered another pair of previous subjects… Lodge Bar DJ Michael and Frog Bear and Wild Boar Owner David Allsbrooks. Michael and I discussed this website and that he had attempted to lobby his friends into his employer, but they wouldn’t… Allsbrooks and I discussed the Oho State spring game (which he apparently had to DVR, because he was playing golf)…
With the clock approaching Hall’s appearance, the crowd continued improvement… Unfortunately, the crowd’s randomness also continued… The guy in the motorcycle jacket obsessed with her standing in the corner… The heifer who had a tacky crown on her head (we’ll discuss that subject again soon)… And the random that owned the evening’s initial conversation… The white person who was break dancing… Yes, I said it… He was break dancing… (The eighties phoned… They’d like him back)…
Finally, Mindy Hall arrived at approximately eleven… From her initial moment, one could surmise that this wouldn’t be the typical city celebrity appearance… Lodge Bar would have roped off a section… Sugar Bar would have put security around her and made her invisible and unapproachable… The Frog Bear and Wild Boar allowed her to interact with the crowd…
Wearing a scrumptious dress and spider web inspired strappy sandals, Mindy was rapidly the subject of every male’s attention and every female’s jealousy… The crowd encircling her rarely numbered fewer than twenty and they followed with her as if they were Augusta’s patrons following Tiger Woods onto Amen Corner…
Aside from Mindy Hall (you mean there were people in the venue not paying attention?), the crowd remained impressive… As I said on twitter, one can always gage the tone of the evening through the actions and movements of the bartenders… If they are dancing, the night is either energetic or pedestrian or they are drunk… If they are barely communicative, they are either bored or swamped… Tonight, they were sprinting between orders… Bolting from register to register, making sure that the crowd following Mindy Hall could return to following her…
Since I mentioned the bartenders, I must recognize one specifically… I know I’ve never mentioned Sarah, but after speaking with her on this evening, I cannot comprehend why I haven’t… With an eighteen-carat personality, an uncomplicated mindset, and a smokehouse rasp in her voice (what is it with bunnies and that smokehouse rasp?), Sarah is a captivating combination… You want to speak with her… You want to flirt with her… You don’t want to piss her off….
Equally captivating (for a very different reason) was DJ Bombay, who for the second consecutive week, scorched the patio with his skills… From hip-hop and rap to salsa and techno, Bombay’s selections ran the gambit… They were the most random you will hear in this city… However, they were not ridiculous… There was an organized chaos to his spinning… There was a premise for every song and transition…
If only the evening would have shared a similar premise… Someone offered a bathroom attendant fifty dollars to allow them to have sex with someone else in said bathroom… A dozen heifers crushed the dance floor, offsetting Bombay’s brilliance… And three iniquitous bachlorette parties, each more horrific than their predecessor, made me rethink why anyone in this city ever willingly proposes to someone… I will say this without hesitation; I enjoy the Frog Bear and Wild Boar… But, this crowd was ridiculous…
As she finally worked away from the crush that had encircled her, Mindy and I spoke for minutes (she also has the smokehouse rasp in her voice)… We discussed (speaking of random) her spider web inspired shoes, which unbeknownst to me, were purchased at a Cincinnati mall… I quickly realized that despite her television appearance… Despite her renowned… Mindy is a simple attraction…
Overall, the appearance and the evening were a scintillating success and while I could close with any one of a dozen stories, I will close with the half-dozen tennis bunnies, who perfectly epitomized this evening… They entered at approximately 12:30… They wore pastel tops, white skirts, and truly the most random plaid socks I have ever seen…
Their ensembles were self-indulgent… I am certain there must have been opinions of them which were unfavorable… However, people were noticing them… And obviously, that notice is what they craved…
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