Bunnies Balance Fashion Failure

Variety is imperative… I’ve never understood those people who enjoy only one beer… only one shot… only one kind of people… only one type of venue… In my opinion, only one circumstance permits perpetual repetition… marriage.

Upon my arrival at Sugar Bar, the energy was evident… The crowd, as per usual, was late arriving… But, one could sense an atmosphere… Tonight would not wallow with the pierced, seedy, tattooed societal rejects that were present two nights earlier… Tonight would epitomize what this city expects when it enters Sugar Bar…

And what I expect (and I know I’m not speaking for myself here) are bunnies… Clutches of bunnies… Collections of bunnies… Bunnies in the upper mezzanine… Bunnies on the dance floor… Bunnies everywhere… On this evening, the bunnies were crawling from the moment I arrived… And the variety was spectacular…

From the bleach blonde bunny (who if the lights went out, you could still spot… I swear that hair would glow in the dark) to the bunny with the perfect skirt… From Park Street Bunny Mia, who sat cozy at a corner table to the blonde, Sugar Bar dance bunny, who literally had a folded up twenty visible on her camouflage… Every potential craving and obsession was addressable…

Their fashion was mostly flawless… Their mesmerizing array of tops blended perfectly with their skirts and jeans… It’s not like one is not accustomed to bunnies at Sugar Bar (on most nights, it might as well be renamed Sugar Bunny)… Still… When one can eye the dance floor and without effort, view a half dozen exquisite treasures… This is a perfect evening…

Adding to the perfection was DJ Samurai, whose precision was a delight to hear and observe… Now, I had seen Samurai work previously… However, until one affords his skill complete attention (and I only afforded it partial attention, thank you bunnies), one cannot appreciate the depth of his talent… Blending “All Night Long” and “Public Service Announcement” (and this is merely one example, I could name a half dozen) was enough to convince me… Samurai is a superstar…

Unfortunately, he is was the only one on Sugar Bar’s stage this evening… Approximately 12:30, the Red Planet Fashion Show commenced… Within two minutes, I was praying it would conclude… The collection was a complete calamity… Whatever the designer was drinking when he sketched and executed this mess… I want a triple…

The women’s collection was vastly superior to the men’s… Unfortunately, it included only a pair of superstars… One of those, I must discuss… A gorgeous gray sweater and jeans… They were casual, yet versatile, form fitting and flattering and the model who wore the ensemble was the prize bunny of the evening… Perfect structure, perfect hair, and a face, which any artist could not have replicated…

No artist would want to replicate the men’s collection… I could spend the entire column scorching it (but I don’t have that kind of time)… The second piece of the collection… A shirt which read “I Make Great Babies”… Is there a bunny in this city that would not see that shirt and fall to the floor laughing at the loser wearing it? Is there a male in this city who would actually purchase it? This shirt alone, which should be incinerated promptly, ruined the collection…

But, the endeavor got worse… Every male model insisted on removing their shirt… Were they attending a fashion show or a strip club audition (I thought those were Wednesday)… And once the shirts were removed, the belt buckles were revealed… Now, I know a lot of males that wear a belt… But, none that wear glittering, gigantic belt buckles… What was the designer’s inspiration for this store of stupidity… President George W. Akon?

As putrid (and I mean putrid) as the Red Planet Disaster was, the night emphasized why there is seldom a regrettable evening at Sugar Bar… Bunnies and variety are the cornerstones of this city… They are why everyone (except for maybe the bunnies themselves) litters Park Street each evening…