Columbus Will Not Replace Retiring Police

10 TV: In the next two years, 200 Columbus police officers face retirement. Without funds to replace those officers, public safety will be jeopardized, a police union official said.

"It's going to be catastrophic," said Jim Gilbert, president of Capital City Lodge No. 9 of the Fraternal Order of Police. "What do you say to the crime victim? What do you say to the person who is waiting and waiting for police as a violent crime is happening in front of them?" Gilbert said.

Columbus Auditor Hugh Dorian has told City Council an income tax is the best solution to raise money. So far Mayor Michael Coleman has not taken a position on the issue and neither has City Council.

Should the council decide to put an income tax on the November ballot and it fails, the auditor warns the city would not just lose police officers. Two hundred retiring firefighters also would not be replaced. "We would have to cut our services," said Jack Reall, president of the International Association of Fire Fighters Local 67.

Fewer firefighters would be available to work on arson investigations and fire inspections, and fewer paramedics would be available to respond to emergencies. Reall said it all comes down to what voters are willing to pay for. "You either want to keep your services where they are at and pay more (in taxes), or decide what you don't want in terms of the menu of services that government provides," Reall said.

Number Forty-One

10 TV: At least two people forced their way inside a home on South Skidmore Street at about 1 a.m. A woman who lives in the home said the intruders threatened to shoot her after they restrained and blindfolded her. The thieves took the woman's purse and jewelry, police said.

Quick Read

Today’s edition featured an entirely local, extremely diverse front page… Barbara Carmen (911 smart mapping) and Robert Vitale (city spending and the rainy day fund) type excellent stories… They team up on a third, concerning city staffing… And Suzanne Hoholik’s feature on doctors aiding the uninsured, completes an exquisite quartet…

Unfortunately, Elizabeth Gibson’s clichéd and insipid story on crime muddles the perfection… Stories on crime do need to be written… But, Gibson’s relies on mayoral talking points… Crime is up because of the bad economy and the city is safe… 34 incidents involving gunfire a day are reported in this city… Does that feel safe? Also, criminals are criminals in any economy…

Jeffrey Sheban (Life and Arts) types a solid story on five friends and their efforts to combat thyroid cancer (Although he could have delved into the friendship more)… Mike Pramik (Business) was again brilliant with his column on the joint marketing of Tim Horton and Coldstone…. And Kevin Maynard’s feature (Metro0 on the Ohio State Aquatic Center was this edition’s most interesting…

Number Forty

10 TV: An east side man was shot on Saturday night after someone kicked in the door in his home. According to police, the shooting occurred at a home on South Chesterfield Road. Sidney D. Smith, 25, was shot in the face and was struggling to stay alive… Anyone with information is asked to contact Crime Stoppers at 614-645-8477.

You Have Questions... I Have Answers

Since Gossip Cbus began, I’ve been swamped with e-mail (thanks for the love)… While I’ve tried to give individual responses to several, I also know that some of the questions are questions others may have and thus, answering them publicly would be better… Therefore, from time to time, I will answer questions where everyone can see them…

Q: Will you ever announce “twitter live” before an event?
A: Prior to the Fiesta Bowl, the Back 2 School Bash, and the Blue Jackets vs. Red Wings, Gossip CBUS did announce that we would be live from those locations. As for other events, the decision to twitter or not twitter is based on several factors, which are unknown before our arrival. At some point, we may alter our policy and begin on announcements… For now, you may want to stay tuned…

Q: Will Gossip CBUS have Mardi Gras coverage?
A: We will have announcements on Monday (January 23) about events that are taking place… As for twitter coverage or wraps, that is also tentatively scheduled, but remains subject to change…

Q: I have noticed several charity announcements recently. Is philanthropy a goal of the website?
A: Even more than night life or breaking news, Gossip CBUS loves to be publicize charitable events, cover charitable events, and be involved in philanthropy through any manner available… If there are charities or groups who have checked out the site, but thought, it doesn’t fit our demographic, I encourage you to e-mail with events or your questions… As an active member of the community, Gossip CBUS is very interested in helping the community…

Quick Read

On Sunday, Front Page and Metro front each featured important stories… Misti Crane’s (front page) addressed pending health cuts and Molly Willow’s (metro front) addressed the recreation center closings… Unfortunately, Crane and Willow only addressed the facts and figures of these stories… The facts and figures are known and now annoy people… Where was the emotional and psychological impact of these events on communities?

The front page continued the paper’s excellent State of the State coverage and Benjamin Morrison (Insight) presented an excellent argument for the coexistence of newspapers and websites (an argument we applaud)…

Steve Wartenberg led Business with an incredible article about the practice of physician approved pill splitting… Kevin Landers complimented that work with a front page worthy analysis of how the recession is impacting child support payments and recipients…

Michael Grossberg’s column (Arts and Life) feature on Cleveland and Cincinnati scoring theatre shows ahead of or instead of Columbus was outstanding and Ken Gordon’s sprawling recount of Beulah Park (sports) was superb… Sadly, Bob Hunter continued his incompetence, typing another tired column… This one whining about the NBA’s one year only required rule for collegians (Bob, everyone has written that column)…

Black, Bunnies, & Free Agent Bartenders

For the boys and bunnies that populate McFadden’s each evening, their attraction is the intoxicants, which inhabit bottles or clear plastic cups. For myself, the bartenders, managers, security, and staff are the attractions…

Upon my arrival for the Blackout Bash, I made a pair of rapid observations… Not everyone received the multiple e-mails and promos about wearing black (seriously, can you people read?) and whomever spent the afternoon decorating the venue, deserves free drinks for the next three months…

I know I gushed about McFadden’s New Year’s interior… However, Saturday night’s enhancement was more impressive and more unique… For this evening, you weren’t in McFadden’s, where spilled beer and thrown napkins stain the floor… You stepped into a quasi-cross between an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog full of photography (on the screens and arrayed in still montages throughout the venue) and a premier nightclub… Black draped curtains, elegant lighting, and enchanting stars…

Troy McKinley, the host of the party, and from what sources have told me, the concept artist behind the design managed the unthinkable… It’s not like McFadden’s hasn’t hosted a theme party before, they host one a week… He (in my opinion), masterminded a memorable evening… An even more memorable evening than New Year’s Eve, which I would have thought impossible…

McKinley, while genius, cannot take all the credit… The attire and the bunnies that showcased that attire, also created the evening… Now, I could spend hours setting up what I am about to type… I could discuss the mythology of the little black dress and it’s prominence in womanhood and how nothing (and I mean nothing) looks better on a bunny than the perfect black dress, but, instead, I will simply type the obvious… The troves and troves of bunnies (and they were everywhere) made this night…

From the silk-lace ensemble worn by one of the bartenders to the red and black flower print (with red shoes) worn by a customer bunny to Amy’s (McFadden’s Promotions Manager) low cut black dress to the hundred other different patterns and textures, the glamorous dresses and the gorgeous bunnies who exuded sex with every moment, were enough to turn observers into bunny hunters and hunters into stalkers… Compliment those dresses with the glow sticks, which McKinley was nice enough to provide and the evening found a whole new category of perfect…

Speaking of perfect… I know I have discussed the Lucky Charms previously, McFadden’s own combination of customer conversationalists and shot sellers, but I must discuss them anew for two reasons… The first reason being there are additions to the ensemble and the second reason being their brilliant role in this perfect event… Sytease (the leader of the collection) was stunning in her full-length black ensemble and silver necklace… And the rest of the Charms, who, from my information, sold an impressive number of pounders, jello and test tube shots, were equally impressive…

With that said, Brooke merits special mention… With the persona of a pre-psychotic Britney Spears and the flawless blonde hair and face of Hayden Panettiere, Brooke (although I only spent two minutes speaking with her), could rival Sytease or Emily Rose as McFadden’s hottest charm…

As midnight approached and the crowd, which began the night as impressive and swelled toward ridiculous, continued exerting phenomenal energy, two dozen (yes 24) bunnies overran the bar for a quartet of songs that included, appropriately, “Single Ladies.” I assume the bunnies (a few of whom were larger bunnies), would have occupied the space for the evening, but alas, they were asked to dismount so that jewelry could be awarded….

And then, McFadden’s made their one mistake of this evening… They never announced that the jewelry was being awarded… They announced ten minutes remaining until… five minutes remaining until… But, they never announced the actual start of the awarding… A half an hour after the five-minute call, I see a bunny (and this one was a bunny), carrying a little black bag, which I knew was one of the jewelry prizes… What the… Now, don’t misunderstand me, this was a monumental evening and the fact that an announcement was not made was minor, but still… I was writing about the event, the prizes were a focal point of the event… It would have been nice if someone had told me…

It also would have been nice if I had known prior to the evening that this was Karl’s last night at McFadden’s… I would have prepared a tribute video (alright, I am just kidding)… Like Taryn before him, Karl walked the bar one final time… Unlike Taryn, his hair was down and crazy and his soundtrack was “Welcome to the Jungle…” Karl shook, he strutted, he scorched more than a few willing throats with shots, and then he spent the next two hours with Lester taunting him with farewell selections, including “Total Eclipse of the Heart…”

Now, I assume you’re waiting for a sentimental salute to Karl… You wont get one… It turns out that while Taryn joined the real world, Karl is merely exiting one opportunity for another… Sources tell me he is relocating to Park Street Patio…

I don’t know if I will see him as much, but I know this… When a free agent leaves one franchise for another, my respect for that free agent doesn’t diminish… The same is true when one bartending superstar walks out from behind one bar, only to step behind another…

Vision For A Visionary

Andy Warhol was a visionary. He understood that the image, whether that image was a painting, photograph, or video clip, would trump the spoken or written word. The latter might backdrop or frame the event. However, the former would serve as the authentic and verifiable record.

Like Warhol, “Other Voices, Other Rooms,” comprehends the visual’s importance. The exhibit is brilliant in it’s layering of the photographed image alongside the painted image alongside the video image. Every piece was unique. Every room inspired new thoughts and questions.

They also inspired sensory deprivation. In one room, you marveled at Warhol’s signature pop art, while a half dozen screens showed his movies, and a collage of purple-faced Chairman Mao’s stared at you from across the room… It was almost as if, while you were concentrating on the art, the room was consuming you….

What I loved about the exhibit (which I saw twice), was that it wasn’t a flogging of the obvious… When you say Andy Warhol, most non-art patrons would respond with something about a soup can… This exhibit showcased the soup cans… But, it also paraded Warhol’s “Interview” magazines, his MTV work, and his habit of being a pat rack, which was never more evident than when walked past the display of newspapers from the day he was shot…

The Wexner Center for the Arts was even meticulous with his quotes… Yes, they featured his sound bite about fifteen minutes, which everyone can recite with their eyes closed… But, they also, on their elegant red carpet complimented wall, spotlighted his other sphinx-like, less well known pronouncements… The menagerie included “Publicity is like eating peanuts. Once you start you can’t stop.”

When the grand art cities of the world are discussed, Columbus will never be a topic. We fall after New York, Los Angeles, Paris, Barcelona, and possibly Omaha (just kidding)… The Wexner Center’s exhibition of Warhol didn’t change anyone’s minds and it didn’t vault Columbus into world art consciousness… It gave us fifteen minutes… For that, the Wexner Center merits congratulations…

Another Coleman Calamity: City Cuts Tow Trucks

NBC 4: City budget cuts continued Friday with another round of layoffs. Seven of nine tow truck drivers with Columbus police have been laid off. Could their pink slips impact public safety?

The tow truck drivers are trained police drivers who are key to keeping evidence secure. Columbus police tow truck drivers are trained to treat vehicles involved or around a crime scene as evidence. Now that seven of nine drivers will be cut, private tow truck drivers will have to be escorted by police officers to and from impound lots because of the vehicle evidence value.

The absence of the drivers also ties up officers who should be patrolling the streets, not escorting an empty vehicle. In fact, according to Fraternal Order of Police President Jim Gilbert, there are five to ten vehicles a day involved in serious crimes that need police tow truck drivers.

In addition to the cuts, Sgt. Rich Weiner with Columbus police said city money will be lost because when a police cruiser breaks down, the division will have to pay a private tow truck company to pick them up.

Quick Read

After viewing this Dispatch’s excellent dissection of the stimulus, I am lost as to which category Mayor Coleman’s Columbus Commons project fits into…

The front page and Life and Arts get into the spirit of the holiday (or non-holiday, if you’re sitting home bitter and single)… Amy Saunders’ “Too Picky, Too Perfect” (front page), which discusses the value of niche dating sites, is exquisite and Joe Blundo’s review of the “Red Roses Poetry Contest” is enjoyable…

Sports leads with solid coverage of the Blue Jackets important 3-2 victory over the Detroit Red Wings… Unfortunately, Rob Oller’s column makes me wish I could give the victory back… Steve Mason is a top five goaltender? He is better than Chris Osgood, who has two Stanley Cup rings? I like Mason also, but Oller’s column was hyperbolic and stupid…

Mike Pramik’s feature (business) on a central Ohio homeowner burned by the stimulus package was this edition’s most interesting… And the Metro section’s front page about the Franklin County Coroner was this edition’s most insipid… I understand she improved the offices services… But, when does the coroner rate front page of anything (except possibly obituaries)…

Columbus Bored With Jackets

In HBO’s “The Wire,” reporter Scott Templeton spells out his story objective… “What I’d really like to do,” he says. “Is find some chaw chewin old timer, who would rather die than miss an Orioles opener.”

The Blue Jackets don’t have those diehard fans. Why? The Blue Jackets have only been a franchise for eight years. Dakota Fanning is six years older than them.

Upon my arrival at the Frog Bear and Wild Boar, the crowd was impressive. Yes, the number of Detroit Red Wings jerseys equaled the number of Blue Jackets jerseys, but what should you expect. The Red Wings have won four cups in eleven years. Fans wearing their jersey are like fans who wore Dallas Cowboys jerseys in the 1990’s… They might wear them because their fans… They might wear them because its popular…

As the clash commenced and six minutes into it, the Blue Jackets accrued a 1-0 lead, I found what was not popular among the “fans” was actually watching or discussing the game… Occasionally, their eyes glanced toward the screen… But, the vast majority of their conversations discussed rich young millionaires or their friend’s divorce or their pet’s surgery (yes, someone was actually talking about)… Rick Nash could have, in the first period, walked into the bar and I don’t think anyone would have asked “Why aren’t you still playing?”

As I returned for the third period, the Red Wings knotted the game at 2-2. I can assume every Detroit fans reaction to this… I don’t have to assume or imagine Blue Jackets fans reactions… there weren’t any… The reactions were even scarcer when, with less than ten minutes remaining, the Blue Jackets assumed command for the third time, 3-2…

In 48 meetings, the Red Wings have defeated the Blue Jackets 35 times with one tie. You would think that everyone inside Frog Bear and Wild Boar would be ecstatic at the prospect of (a) defeating the Red Wings, (b) evening the season series with that win (at 2-2), and (c) notching a two game winning streak versus the Red Wings, something the Blue Jackets have only managed on two occasions previously… Sadly, the final pair of exciting minutes passed with barely and sound and only a crackle of cheers as the Blue Jackets kept their playoff hopes brightly alive…

Now, I know what you’re thinking… it’s a Friday night, people are out to have fun, and it’s the regular season, why should anyone hang on every minute… Allow me this irrefutable argument… On any given Saturday during the college football season, no fan, wearing a jersey or not discusses divorces, millionaires, or pet surgeries… Every moment is tension filled and every reaction is communal and verbal…

As much as anyone would like to claim the Blue Jackets and the season their having as a milestone for the franchise and this city, tonight illustrated why Nash may as well be wearing a stamp across his forehead that reads “Property of Ohio State Football…”

Access Columbus

For a century or so, philosophers, physicians, and poets have, in their own way, pondered one question… What is life about? I don’t know their answer, but I know mine and I believe (in my unbiased opinion), mine should be acceptable as universal… If life is about anything, it’s about access… Access to conversations with the right people, access to the right events, access to opportunities… Access, access, and access….

After spending the first hour of my evening at the Frog Bear and Wild Boar (see above), I arrived at Lodge Bar. Whereas the crowd at Frog Bear and Wild Boar was subdued and social, groups of between two and six; the crowd at Lodge Bar was scorching… The groups were eight or ten, the energy was palpable, and the bunnies (Miller Lite and otherwise) were everywhere…

Fifteen minutes after my entrance, Lodge Bar commenced their Date Auction, which benefited the very worthy Make A Wish Foundation… If only the crowd had realized how worthy the cause was… The ten employees (five men and five women) were charming… They even had little biographical spreads which accompanied their appearance (some of the material on those, obviously altered for effect)… The “Auctioneer,” while not perfect was certainly better than the calamity that voiced the Columbus Crewzers Auction… And the packages that went with the dates, great restaurant gift cards, Blue Jackets tickets, without question exceeded the dinner you received with the Crewzers…

Still, the bidding was sparse (and that’s the kindest word I can use)… The auctioneer honestly appeared to be begging at times… Mark and his Blue Jackets tickets received only one bid, Lindsay and Brittany, as gorgeous as they were, scored only slightly higher than him… Only Amanda, rocking her curves in a black dress, that I believe was spray-painted onto her, caused a bidding frenzy…

Now, money is money and obviously Make A Wish (any charity actually), will accept donations with thanks and thankful hearts… And it certainly isn’t a reflection on Lodge Bar that their patrons were lazy… Still, Lodge Bar is such a great venue and their employees are amazing people… Both deserved so much more…

With the auction concluded, I walked the sidewalk, bridge, and brick ground from Vine Street back to the Arena District for the third period of the Blue Jackets and Red Wings (once again, see above)… As the game ended, I happened into (yes, that’s a random term, but the conversation was random also) with Frog Bear and Wild Boar Co-Owner David Allsbrooks… As we spoke, I could clearly understand why his establishment is one that I enjoy… It’s a complete reflection of its exemplary owner…

As much as I enjoyed conversations with Allsbrooks and Frog Bear and Wild Boar Promoter Jeff (who I will mention again momentarily), those discussions fell miles short of the satisfaction I enjoyed speaking with Abbi… For those of you who don’t remember, Abbi was (my words paraphrased), “the present every male was hoping to receive for Christmas.”

Her personality exceeds her perfect appearance (if that’s even possible)… Her personality is delightful and sparkling, she is an engaging person, and fifteen seconds with her easily confirmed everything I had written… I have to say as someone who types adjectives about amazing people, you never know if meeting those people will live up to what you have written… Trust me I say that five minutes with Abbi was a like a country music fan scoring five minutes with Taylor Swift… Exquisite…

I said I would return to my conversation with Jeff and here is the reason… Prior to the Menus (yes, that’s actually the bands name) taking the stage, Jeff had described the lead singer to me as “heterosexually flamboyant…” I know I said this on twitter, but I must repeat it, Jeff could not have coined a better description if he had sat down and spent four hours attempting it… From the moment he took the stage, the Menus lead singer was worth the price of admission…

With the personality of Boy George and the preening of Freddie Mercury, I half expected to hear “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me” or “Radio Gaga…” Instead, I heard one of the most impressive set lists from any band I have seen… The perfect trio of “Sweet Caroline,” “Don’t Stop Believing,” and “Little Pink Houses” fell over the crowd like milk chocolate raining from heaven… And the crowd slurped every available drop (myself included)… As I left to return to Lodge Bar to conclude the night, I was beyond impressed with the Menus…

Wish that I could say the same for Jeremy Hoyle… Lodge Bar’s Friday night choice was, in a word, mediocre… He wasn’t terrible, but he wasn’t terrific… Even the crowd (which had increased by dozens when I returned) was unimpressed, as they threw up only a somber reaction to his version of “Hang On Sloopy…”

Hoyle played “Hey Jealousy,” which I loved and overall his set list was acceptable… But I have been in Lodge Bar when the crowd was so energetic that they could rip the boards from the floor… He didn’t inspire that… Thankfully, I had several great conversations to drown him out and this returns to me where I began…

As I walked out of Lodge Bar, my singular thought was what was in my opening… More specifically, how lucky I am to be able to afford everyone who cant get five minutes with a club owner or the promotions person or the best bartender… I always viewed this website and my words as a privilege and a responsibility, but never more so than this typing… Until the next time you have access vicariously, you know I love you Columbus…

Valentine’s Day 2009: McFadden’s

Commencement: 9:00

Venue: McFadden’s (South Campus)

Sexiest Black Dress receives Andrew’s Jewelers Gift Card

Drinks (Available All Night)
$6 Black and White Martini
$5 Black Ice Drinks
$4 Black Out Shots

Valentine’s Day 2009: Lodge Bar

Commencement: 9:00

Venue: Lodge Bar (Arena District)

Song Trivia (Winners receive $100)

Drinks (Available All Night)
$4 Red Hot Shots
$3 Martinis