Bunnies, Belligerence Bring In 2009

In “H to the Izzo’s” opening line, Jay-Z comments “You coulda been anywhere in the world, but you're here with me…”

Prior to New Years, I could have drown in party invitations (and I want to say before I say anything else that I appreciated everyone)… From the Arena District to Campus to Easton and Polaris, I received three dozen invites… While I considered each carefully and all had their plusses and minuses, my decision came down to an important and sentimental truth… When I moved to Columbus, the first venue that I visited, the first venue that impressed me was McFadden’s….

From my entrance, I knew I would not be disappointed. I know I’ve discussed McFadden’s uniqueness, however, I underestimated their brilliant versatility… Their transformation from campus hang out to chic, immaculate wonderland was remarkable… For this evening, you weren’t in McFadden’s, where you down shots… You were in a crystal paradise… Gorgeous snow flakes, silver disco balls, draped curtains… even white lights draping the DJ booth… Pictures would not do the evening justice… The reinvention was exquisite…

Even the bartenders and staff sparkled… Amy (Marketing Director) in a brilliant blue, barely there dress… Becca (Amy’s assistant) in a jaw dropping black ensemble… Even Dustin, Jackson, and Karl shed the jeans and McFadden’s logos in favor of fashion… While the staff makeover was obviously not the reason anyone attended, it was well worth the price of admission…

The bunnies were also worth the price of admission… Drinking everything they could consume, shaking their asses in dresses that in some circumstances appeared painted onto their bodies, their radiating sexuality could make anyone forget they were with a date… McFadden’s always has bunnies… However, this rush was different… Especially, when they took over the bar (more later)…

I must, at this point, interrupt my bunny lust to mention the buffet… Actually, I must rave about the buffet… When a venue throws in free food, you have to expect the worst… You have to expect since they gave you an open bar, they will scrimp on food… McFadden’s did not… The cooks deserve a round of applause or drinks, whichever they want… Meat balls, chicken balls, smothered chicken, pasta… Their spread was more impressive than their decorations (and that’s saying something)…

As midnight neared, I found myself talking with one of the security and I noticed an ambulance and fire truck outside… With recent memories of McFadden’s smoke mishap, I was curious… I walked outside and seven cops and fire fighters rushed past me headed toward (you guessed it)… Skye Bar… I will have more in our next post…

Moments later, I returned from Skye (how do you think I would have more if I didn’t go down there myself and find out) and the ball drop countdown had begun… Eyes on every television screen, Lester stirring the crowd… Five, four, three, two, one… The ball drops, the champagne bottles pop, and the making out begins… Here is where I sound like a bitter single person (which I am single, but not bitter)…

New Year’s Eve is a couples holiday… I get that and I also get that it’s tradition to kiss your significant other as your first act post countdown, but seriously, one kiss, one passionate, thirty second, adorable lip lock… That’s it people! When your making out carries on for the rest of the night (which some couples did), when your making out gets to the point that you are basically reproducing in front of a room full of people (which some couples did), when your making out gets in the way of people trying to get to the bar or leave the room (which some couples did), it’s freaking time to stop kissing… I don’t sound bitter at all do I?

From bitter to belligerent… Within forty minutes of the ball dropping, the massive, uninterrupted alcohol consumption caught up with the alcohol consumers… And the crap hit, well what the crap hits… Boyfriends and girlfriends started fighting, friends started fighting… I saw three people get tossed within a two minute span, Woody almost get kicked in the (cough) male anatomy… People fight so they wouldn’t leave, people argue, curse, threaten… I even, at one point, saw McFadden’s General Manager get into an argument with a drunken idiot, while the drunken idiot was surrounded by cops… I have said it before, I will say it again… Enjoy your drinks… Don’t ruin my enjoyment with your drinking…

Speaking of enjoyment (and I promised more about bunnies), they finally scaled the bar an hour after the ball drop… they were well worth the wait… Amy (yes, promotions director), Becca, McFadden’s newest bartender, a Taylor Swift look alike, rocked the downstairs bar… And upstairs, six bunnies in dresses so form fitting and flattering that they made makes want to scream… Black, blue, teal…. The color was irrelevant… Every male I looked at as they worked their butts had stopped and was drooling…

There exists (and I don’t know where I heard it) a cliché that your new year will be defined by what you do in the first hour of the year… As I watched these bunnies, I couldn’t help but think… If this is to be my year… I can't wait for each one of the next 364 days… Enjoy those January 1 hookup wishes and hangover dreams…