Park Street Festival Recognition

On Saturday, Gossip CBUS racked 193 twitter tweets. Thank you, Joe Boxer, Jonathon Ciancetta, and Gandhi (WNCI); Randy Haffey and Tori Lioness (Park Street Patio); Pat West, Trevor Day, and Mike Material (Lodge Bar); Jeff Lauback (Callahan’s); and every venue manager, slinger, and security employee.

Always Live

Randy Haffey and Drew Hanson have resolved their conflict. Contradictory accounts concerning who instigated the truce.

Always Live

Randy Haffey and Drew Hanson’s clash has concluded. Tonight, Gossip CBUS received this text from Hanson… “I’m letting it go,” he said. “I’m out of town all weekend anyway, so Park Street Fest won’t even matter.”

Always Live

A Randy Haffey-Drew Hanson clash may be emerging, according to several sources. This evening, Hanson posted the following on his facebook page… “I just heard this stage 5 doucher thinks he is so powerful that if I show up at Park Street Fest... the entire street of Park... he will have me thrown out. I seriously welcome this.”

I know I glossed Hanson as the Cheshire cat, but I never expected an actual feline fracas lol… (No word on whether Haffey responded)

One Night in Sugar

Expectations are useful and unwanted. Expectations are adaptable, flexible, modifiable, and variable. They make one smarter. They make one stronger. They make defeats resemble victories. They make victories more substantial. How are expectations unwanted? Eventually, one’s moment occurs and expectations must be met…

For seven days, innuendo, rumor, and speculation swirled. Would Paris Hilton actually appear in Sugar Bar? I had complete confidence she would. Why was I so confident? Chris Corso, Mike Gallicchio, and Brian Swanson are not morons. They are not stupid. If Hilton’s appearance were merely a publicity stunt, forget figurative egg… Corso would be scraping omelet off of his face indefinitely…

With one hour remaining until Sugar Bar’s open, activity and energy were omnipresent. Whenever I am asked my favorite aspect of this website, I never hesitate… The hours prior to open and subsequent to close are my favorite… The bunnies and bunny chasers never witness these hours…. They never witness (unless they have worked in a venue) the hours of prepping or concluding a venue requires…

As drink slingers and servers placed bottles onto tables, security mentally prepared, and sound was checked, Gallicchio and Swanson paced with anticipation. Their demeanor and dialogue was an intricate mixture of accomplishment, cockiness, and nervous energy… Would Hilton produce the crowd? Would the crowd arrive earlier? Would the evening equal previous iconic escapades?

I know I’ve mentioned Swanson previously, but inevitably, he is an annotation when I discuss Corso and Gallicchio. Why is this? Corso and Gallicchio’s persona scream millionaire moguls… Swanson’s persona suggests your high school classmate, who always strode with assurance because he knew the proposition was not if, but when he would succeed. Corso and Gallicchio made nightlife in this city, but Swanson is equally relevant… He is the street credibility of the trio…

Approximately one hour into the evening, one of my previous questions was answered… The crowd maintained this city’s reputation for tardiness… On the sidewalk, Gallicchio prowled as if he were a Royal Bengal Tiger… His eyes were intense… His face was expressionless… By eleven p.m. on the night of Donnie Wahlberg’s appearance, Sugar Bar was crushed… By eleven p.m. on this night, one could dribbled a basketball comfortably through the venue…

Thankfully, Sugar Bar Promotions Superstar Whitney Allure rescued the opening hours… You would assume I would have one evening where I encounter the precocious pop tart and cannot construct a paragraph… I’ve known her less than two weeks… That evening was not this evening, as via her personality and scrumptious black and sequined dress, Whitney once again ensorcelled my attention…

Ensnaring my attention for the polar opposite reason was the casting session for Freaks & Beef that Sugar Bar was hosting… I know I’ve typed several scorching sentences about heifers and I promise I will type some more… But, I must cuddle another controversy and discuss the transvestite collection which was present this evening… I want to say this before you even type word one, let alone sentence one, of your e-mails… I have no objection to an alterative lifestyle…

However, transvestite is not an alternative lifestyle… Men wearing dresses (as several did this evening) or women wearing men’s clothing is not appropriate… Ken transforming himself into Barbie doesn’t make Ken a special subset of people worthy of equal rights… It makes him weird… Every moment the abhorrent green and gold dress wearing perversion crept near me this evening was a moment when I considered leaping from Sugar Bar’s balcony onto the dance floor…

I promised I would return to my favorite piñata and the heifers were prevalent amidst the platinum bunnies tonight… I realize every crowd cannot be composed solely of muffins and some evenings, an even equation is a victory… But, Sugar Bar’s crowds have crossed the sixty-forty parallel and are flirting with seventy-thirty… Is Sugar Bar the official venue for those who haven’t heard the words calorie count or can we correct this?

At approximately 12:30, I encountered Park Street Patio Promotions Superstar Tori Lioness, who informed me that Hilton would not be arriving until one a.m. Thirty seconds and less than fifteen steps after those words were spoken, I was walking the edge of the venue’s dance floor when Hilton strutted past me…

Dressed in royal blue with a matching headband and showcasing enough diamonds to purchase several sections of this city (as well as city center for the purpose of turning it into her dog’s new home), Hilton was escorted into the balcony by a phalanx of security that would have made any elected official in any state or city jealous… Six security personnel and a trio of police…

As Hilton ascended into the balcony, an anticipated and anxious throng followed (and was of course refused entrance into the balcony by security)… Moments subsequent, I encountered the throng personally when Avi Primetime, Shawn Money, and I sought our spots above the dance floor… Avi was in front of me with a hand on my shoulder… Shawn was behind me with a hand in my back… We squeezed our way through the clamoring hoard and after one moment of walking stairs arrived in Paris’ perch…

And allow me to state that the seconds I was squeezed through the clamoring hoard were completely worth it… Above the dance floor was an unequaled compilation of empire and platinum bunny perfection… Corso, Gallicchio, Swanson, Randy Haffey, Tori, Shawn, Avi, and Paris Hilton… I know I’ve compared this city’s nightlife with the circus, but that comparison was marginal until this evening… Above the dance floor, I was now part of the collection in the center ring…

Within ten minutes of my entrance into the balcony, Hilton assumed the microphone and spoke with her typical tandem of instigative playfulness… She then swallowed a shot, took pictures of the crowd on the floor, danced with her boyfriend (was anyone even noticing he was there), danced with herself, and sat atop the rail… With her back to the potential peril, Hilton appeared placid and provocative, openly flirting with those who could not garner entrance into her paradise…

If asked (and I don’t know this personally, but everything I’ve read suggests it), Hilton will tell you that she craves the camera and that she makes the cameras crave her… Both were true this evening… Her antics entranced and invited digital flashes and those digital flashes outnumbered the amount of people staring toward the balcony…

Amidst the crush of digital flashes, Corso approached and requested vindication… The conversation I will keep private, but the subtext was that Hilton had appeared, even though this city had doubted his ability to produce this result… I will retype what I told him and also twittered… Chris, I make it a point never to doubt the king…

As her night concluded, Hilton appeared dissimilar to the decadent debutante, who had entered the balcony only ninety minutes earlier… Seated upon a couch, her boyfriend’s arm around her, Hilton was withdrawn… She smoked a cigarette… She pressed her hands to her face… She appeared at multiple points to cry…

At approximately two a.m., Hilton surrounded herself with security and walked the stairs toward the exit… As she passed the balcony bar, the upstairs drink slinger snapped a pair of pictures and Hilton disappeared into the stairwell… Her hyped and hyperbole visit to this city concluded with only pictures as proof she was ever present…

In the exhilaration of their triumph, Corso, Gallicchio, and Swanson celebrated and conversed with clutches, as their venue was cleaned… Despite incomprehensible expectations, the trio once again, shut up and put their money where their mouth was… Today, the expectations will alter, as the trio shakes this conquest from their memories…

Memorial Weekend Waste Simply Another Sideshow

Immerse yourself within this city’s nightlife and you will achieve a realization. It is the circus. The drink slingers and promotions superstars are the attractions. The bunnies, bunny chasers, intoxicated, and randoms are the spectacle. And the margin separating the cliques is negligible.

Prior to Cinco de Mayo and St. Patrick’s Day, I had minimal and moderated expectations… I should have maintained similar skepticism for Memorial Day. I assumed the comfortable weather and weekend placement would instinctively entice the masses into various venues. What I forgot was that this city calendars only Thursday, Friday, and Saturday for the purposes of inebriation…

Throughout the evening, Lodge Bar was scattered. With music inside and outside, the crowd remained energetic. A plurality of chairs were occupied. Several tables were occupied. Still, the crowd never resembled or rivaled Mardi Gras… It never even resembled or rivaled four days ago, when the venue secured scoreboard over Sugar Bar… (Trust me, the results were different this evening)…

While I typically covet crowd and energy, scattered evenings produce spectacular column material…. And no one is more spectacular column material or simply spectacular than Lodge Bar Promotions Superstar Jen Bunny… As she danced, flirted, laughed, and talked, it was impossible to extract my attention from her (And I suppose it helped that I didn’t actually want to)… It’s not as if Lodge Bar isn’t littered with platinum… However, Jen Bunny is an immaculate marquee amongst their several scrumptious solitaires (for those unfamiliar with the terminology, google diamonds)…

Jen Bunny was marvelous material, but Jake Wisdom provided the evening’s signature conversation… Since my initial appearance at Lodge Bar, I must have spoken with Jake on two dozen occasions… What makes every conversation valuable is the expertise and knowledge I acquire by simply listening… I may offer parameters or topics, but Jake owns the conversation…
Within thirty minutes of my arrival at Lodge Bar (for those of you lost, this is what you might term a flashback), I received a phone call and stepped outside the venue… As I spoke on my phone, Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar Co-Owner Mike Gallichio pulls alongside the curb… He asks if I reside or work at Lodge Bar… I answer no… He then asks why I spend the hours I spend at Lodge Bar if I don’t reside or work there….

Obviously, I expect venue executives and promotions superstars to campaign and request coverage… However, Sugar Bar’s continuous campaigning is ridiculous… They critique other venues… They protest our coverage… They seek attention… Do I never venture into their venue? (Wait, I am in their venue almost every evening)… Sugar Bar is an exemplary scene and their owners shouldn’t campaign… They should simply enjoy what I type…

They should also enjoy what I twitter, if and when the conversations cease and allow me to twitter… I can’t say this enough, I adore and respect everyone that I encounter… They make this website possible… However, their charm and my penchant for never shutting up are impeding my reporting… Half of my evenings are conversations… Seventy percent of my evenings should be reporting…

Eventually, I entered Sugar Bar, which enjoyed a swarmed night… I could spend multiple paragraphs discussing that, but I will instead focus on the conversations, which captivated most of my attention… Jen Excellence and Molly Style are the most amusing and random pair in this city… Whether it’s mocking the masses or promoting themselves, they are never sans confidence or a concise retort…

Shawn Money and Avi Primetime are a pair which separately provide enough column material for a month and jointly provide enough column material for the next two years… They are entertaining and informative… They are sarcastic and serious… They comprehend what their occupation is and isn’t… Whereas the masses want to be them for an evening, they wouldn’t mind being one of the masses…

And now I must mention another superstar, someone I met only two evenings ago, but someone who has already earned several conversations and a twitter mention… Sugar Bar Promotions Superstar Whitney Allure… You appreciate her presence for five minutes… You speak with her for ten minutes… And you can’t completely understand her… Behind her crystal appearance, she is a New Life Crisis song… She’s blessed, depressed… Her inner beauty remains confined…

Preventing one completely vacant evening was Park Street Patio, who was swarmed from the moment I arrived until the moment I closed my phone… Every chair as occupied… Every table was occupied… And their music was incredible… I’m unaware as to how much money was raised, but if the event served as an indication, the coffers should be crushed…

Speaking of worthy causes, I enjoyed a twenty-minute conversation with Crawl for Cancer Organizer JP Ratajczak, whose event (which will include all afternoon and evening twitter coverage) is less than one week away… As one speaks with JP, he is clearly scattered and swarmed with details… Yet, his workload doesn’t detract from his intrigue or passion for the event that his consumed his persona…

I cannot conclude this column without mentioning Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar Promotions Superstar Randy Haffey, whose success I referenced earlier… On a regrettable and scattered evening, Haffey executed an eighteen-carat success. His triumph merits praise, not only for the charitable contribution it provided, but for the highlight it intermixed into an otherwise horrific night…

As light illuminated the five venues that were available this evening, bunnies, bunny chasers, and randoms staggered toward their cars… Drink slingers counted receipts, emptied trash, and scrubbed bottles… This was not an evening either clique had expected… Yet, each was only hours away from another evening in the center ring…

I Stood Five Feet From Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Column

Prominence is important. Proximity to prominence is imperative. Not everyone can be prominent. Not everyone can possess access or contacts. Befriending someone of prominence, ingratiating yourself within their circle, affords importance, opportunity, and reputation. (And before anyone writes complaining that the title insults Fall Out Boy, Sugar Bar, or the evening, the title is a play on a Fall Out Boy song)…

Within thirty minutes of my arrival (some of which was twittered, some of which was not), Park Street Patio and Sugar were swarmed with stars… The Famed Four, Co-Owners Chris Corso, Mike Gallichio, and Brian Swanson and Promotions Superstar Randy Haffey were expected… R Bar Co-Owners Mike and Natalie Darr, who were seated at a table in the lower mezzanine, were not… McFadden’s General Manager Damien Fuller, who was enjoying a drink, was not…

Also not expected was Onyx Promotions Superstar and Nightlife Notable Randee, who I encountered as she stood flummoxed, unable to cross between venues… Why was she unable to cross? Sugar’s security person was carrying out his assignment (also known as acting like an…)… Randee and I spoke for five minutes, as she waited, discussing her upcoming Models and Moguls event, Onyx Thursday and Saturday evenings, and city buzz…

Finally, she was allowed to traverse the hallway between Sugar Bar and Park Street Patio… I’ll return to discussing her in moments, but for this moment, let me address a previous sentence… Sugar Bar’s security people are professional and I understand they have responsibilities… However, people skills wouldn’t injure them and they aren’t that hard to master…

A craft which is hard to master is mixing… However, Gonzo has succeeded… I encountered the national sensation in Park Street Patio, as he celebrated his nationwide syndication and prepared for the other half of the Fall Out Boy After Party… Gonzo’s peppiness, which normally can exhaust red bull, was obvious this evening… It’s not as if anyone ever questioned his talent, but this announcement (which you can read above if you haven’t already) was validation he has always deserved…

After twenty minutes of watching Gonzo dart between activities and darting between activities myself, DJ Triple A, Randee, and myself convened below Park Street Patio’s stage… Intermittently, Gonzo joined the conversation as we discussed the evening and various venues… I’m certain I’ve said this previously, but if I haven’t I should have… The access to these conversations, the camaraderie between the Generation 1 a.m. working set is the only reward I will ever require from this occupation…

Speaking of rewards, the Ultimate Vodka Party was a perfect diversion as both Park Street Patio and Sugar Bar awaited Fall Out Boy’s arrival. I was told (and I cant imagine this is true) that the Ultimate Vodka Party was the evening’s attraction, that Pete Wentz and company were merely an occurrence… I assume some of the venue superstars who I have mentioned appeared strictly for research… Yet, I can’t fathom someone planning their evening out around an alcohol and not a celebrity…

What I also can’t fathom is doughnut holes, an item which cost $2.50 (not $1.77 as I twittered), as a venue desert item… Apparently, Corso can… We sample the moist morsels, which are scrumptious (would I pay what he wants to charge, likely not) and discuss the NBA and NHL playoffs… In his estimation, the Detroit Red Wings win game seven over Anaheim…

In my estimation, this crowd was not Sugar Bar’s most iconic… I twittered every second of Brody Jenner and Donnie Wahlberg’s appearances… Jenner’s included marginally passable walkways and limited dance floor and mezzanine space…. Wahlberg’s crushed every area with only a minimal walkway on the stairs… Tonight, the upper mezzanine and couch area were swarmed… The lower mezzanine and dance floor were merely buzzed…

Now, I know what you’re thinking… I’m not using the word crushed, because I am judging Sugar Bar on the basis of those other two events… I am and I won’t apologize for this… The thing about expectations is that when you perform well, they increase and you have to match them… Why not simply decrease expectations? Because that’s not the way expectations work… Performers who perform must perform or sentences as were typed above get typed…

Am I labeling Sugar Bar’s evening a failure? I am not… I am simply stating the obvious… This crowd did not match previous productions and thus, did not meet expectations… The evening was exemplary… It was one worthy of praise and a lengthy column (which you are reading right now)… However, Jenner topped other nights and Walhberg topped Jenner… This topped neither…

Following two hours, one hundred stars, and a dozen scary heifers (we’ll talk crowd composition shortly, I know you’re awaiting my opinion), Fall Out Boy arrived… Unlike Jenner and Walhberg, the crowd didn’t suffocate them… A Secret Service phalanx wasn’t required… I attribute this to Fall Out Boy’s appearance (if you have ever seen them, they blend into their generation comfortably) and their affability with the crowd…

Jenner adored the attention, but still set himself apart… Kourtney Kardashian could have not spoken to a single person and been thrilled… Fall Out Boy mingled, they danced, they didn’t appear to be genuinely enjoying themselves, they were genuinely enjoying themselves… They are and were twenty-five plus year old males with influence, money, and power… And yet they acted as if they were four twenty-five plus year old males who would attend class at Ohio State this morning…

I promised we’d discuss crowd composition and I want to state right now, before you continue reading, that I may offend anyone even if you aren’t one of the people I directly reference… Wednesday’s crowd possessed some bunnies and they were gorgeous…. Unfortunately, the bulk (and the use of that word is intentional) of the crowd was heifers… And I’m not talking the heifers who I usually assail… I’m talking heifers large enough to feed third world nations for decades, five of which, three in black, one in teal, and one in blue, could have formed an offensive line that any running back could have hidden behind for months…

They crowded Sugar Bar’s stage and turned it from normal paradise to nauseatingly putrid… The invaded the cage, grinding their flab until I wanted to puke… They plagued the dance floor and walkway, dancing and pretending as if no one could see them… I saw them… I assume everyone saw them and the image is enough to fill a half dozen trashcans with vomit… And that’s prior to anyone having even a sip of alcohol…

I know what I’ve said isn’t polite and if you abhorred that, you’ll loathe this… Don’t these plus size porpoises realize the obvious as they sit in front of their mirrors? Don’t they realize as they view all of their repulsiveness in their mirror that they have no friends for a reason… That their phones never ring for a reason… I have said it previously, I will say it again, heifers have a right to a social life, but why must they exercise this right? Why must they put us through this horror?

Life isn’t only for the gorgeous… And I’m sure I will have a volume of e-mail because of the last three paragraphs… But, I’m merely speaking honesty to obesity… The heifers I witnessed on this evening should comprehend why they were high school pariahs, college pariahs, and why they remain pariahs… Personality counts only in the case that appearance opens the door… I’m assuming these heifers have had more than a few doors slammed in their faces…

I had zero expectations as Pete Wentz entered the booth for his spin set at approximately one a.m. Obviously, he can write a song… He can play a song… But, could he equal the skills of DJ Samurai or Gonzo…. Would he even attempt this? As Wentz assumed control of the music, he wasn’t starved for attention… Every set of eyes in the venue, from the couch to the mezzanine to the floor was on him…

Now, I mentioned that this crowd was not equivalent to Wahlberg’s crush… What I did not mention was that has it’s advantages… Specifically, I was able to, with relative ease, traverse from the upper mezzanine to the right side of the booth, a simple jump from Wentz… The energy and the visual around him were incredible… I’ve always said that I judge a venue on energy, not on overall crowd size… The energy surrounding Wentz was exemplary…

If only the same could be said for his spinning precision… His song selection was spectacular... “Wonderwall,” “Don’t Stop Believing,” “99 Problems...” He had the crowd frenzied… With that said, I am an untrained evaluator and thus I sought several opinions when the performance concluded… The consensus of those who know what they are speaking of is that Wentz is a great celebrity and a lousy DJ…

As the evening concluded, Gonzo and I sat on the stage in Park Street Patio… This night for various persons and various reasons was triumphant… Not everyone could be considered a sweetheart and some (as I have typed) needed to simply drop dead… But, on this rare occasion, everyone was within steps of someone superior… Everyone, for a few hours, enjoyed proximately to prominence…

Skirts, Stars Score Spotlight

Life’s objective is the spotlight. The reason celebrities are idolized and millionaires are rich is they adore the spotlight. They relish the spotlight. Their ambitions were never anonymity, conformity, or obscurity. That’s the thing about the spotlight. It will never seek you. You must seek it.

Upon my arrival for the Luau, McFadden’s was swarmed. Given Greek Week’s volume of activity and the unwelcome weather (when did May become this city’s official rain month), one would assume campus might relax. Instead, those who consumed alcohol all week ignored the rain and consumed alcohol one more evening.

And they consumed their alcohol inside an immaculately contrived paradise. It’s not as if McFadden’s had not transformed their interior previously… However, their conversion from campus haunt into a Jimmy Buffett lyric was remarkable. The first level crowd batting an oversized beach ball into several breakable objects… The second level crowd purchasing their pounders from a beer tub, which was remade into straw encircled hut… The décor was spectacular…

Once again, McFadden’s Promotions Superstar Amy scored. It is obvious at this point that she is a star among stars… With that said, her individual genius is almost incomprehensible… Lodge Bar and Jen Bunny have Kattie Minx… Park Street Patio, Sugar Bar, and Randy Haffey have a quartet… Amy is singular… She must conceive and execute the concept… If the concept collapses, she cannot sacrifice anyone… She is responsible…

Yet, the concepts never collapse… Amy’s presentations are consistently intriguing… Her visions are consistently unique… From New Year’s Eve to St. Patrick’s Day to both Little Black Dress Parties, Amy conceives the event… She promotes the event… And the bunnies and bunny chasers arrive and enjoy…

On this evening, they were thoroughly enjoying… From the limbo contest that included two dozen to the two bunnies who danced atop a booth, the energy was excellent. Incidentally, the bunnies were chased off their booth by bouncers, five minutes after they commenced… I assume the reason was safety, but the bouncers should have relaxed… The visual was spectacular…

Equally spectacular was Lester, who (for once) enhanced and did not detract from the atmosphere. Typically, Lester’s randomness, which includes an obligatory once an evening salute to President Obama, is revolting (we understand, he won, you supported him)… Tonight, Lester was superb… His conclusion of the limbo contest with “On A Boat” was appropriate… His transition of “Sweet Caroline” into “Paper Planes” was stellar…

Since we mentioned stellar, the immersion of the Lucky Charms into the Luau theme was exquisite… The combination of bikinis and grass skirts… The allure of skin, which was equal parts appropriate, enticing, and scandalous… The Lucky Charms are marvelous morsels on average evenings… With this ensemble, their magnetism was inconceivable…

Of course, my personal favorite Emily Rose was scrumptious… It wasn’t the obvious with her either… Her perfect physique was striking… She was every male’s aspiration… However, Brooke and Sytease were equally physically appetizing… Emily Rose’s flawlessly bronzed skin… Her off the beach complexion, which exquisitely offset her hair and eyes… As I have said, the term OUS was coined for Emily Rose and this evening was the perfect explanation as to why…

While Emily Rose, Brooke, and Sytease were marvelous, the charm that captured my attention, the charm that captivated my attention was the newest addition to the muffin menagerie, Alisha… I could have observed the obvious with her and had enough verbiage for two paragraphs, but what made her relevant, what catapulted her ahead in the conversation, was when she walked the bar.

I know what you’re thinking, charms walk the bar, they grind, they preen, they strut… It’s essentially their employment description… I will not argue any of that… However, watching Alisha, who could have simply walked the crowd and labeled her night successful, reminded me why McFadden’s is the campus venue… Alisha appeared relaxed… She appeared to be relishing the attention, as she reaffirmed my opening paragraph…

Throughout the evening, I had several conversations, whose essential premise was that McFadden’s has slowed since football season… While the upper and lower levels might not be impassible, while the Arena District may be consuming most of this website’s column inches, Alisha’s performance negated this premise… Crowd size is irrelevant… Number of columns is irrelevant… McFadden’s remains the official home of spotlight seekers now and forever…

Always Live

Sugar Bar Promotions Superstar Shawn Dolan appears and speaks as someone meant to excel at their profession… With the exception of forgetting what holiday occurs on May 5 (and yes he stood clueless for at least a minute), Dolan is articulate and polished… We discuss the venue’s varied crowds, the weather, and what makes Sugar Bar and Park Street Patio what they are… I get smarter every moment I listen…

Speaking of people who make me smarter, I arrive next door and speak with Park Street Patio Promotions Superstar Randy Haffey… Our conversation is much more contemplative and cerebral, with the exception of one moment… During a discussion of his recent sickness, Haffey offers the phrase “I kicked the swine flu’s ass…”

Always Live

Upon my arrival at Park Street Patio, the entrance was crushed. Other venues were scarcely able to acquire an indoor crowd by 10:00. Park Street Patio had three dozen people outside waiting to matriculate indoors… Watching them wait were Co-Owners Chris Corso and Brian Swanson, who stood in the open air marveling at their success…

Standing inside Park Street Patio was Promotions Superstar Randy Haffey, who was also satisfied with the visual. We discussed the crowd for a moment (and only for a moment, as I truly had no comprehension of it’s size) and then our conversation redirected into the Park Street Festival, which will occur June 12-13. Activities will include a Bike Fest, the Kid’s Fair, and A Taste of the North Market. Candlebox, Dot Dot Dot, Downplay, Lovesick Radio, Saving Jane, the 17th Floor, and the Bourban Kings will perform.

When Haffey and I’s conversation concluded, I traversed toward the open air. From the backstairs of Park Street Patio, I witnessed an unimaginable scene. The venue was crushed. Every chair and table were occupied and three dozen conversations were occurring in the walkways (seemingly all in front of me)… It took me twenty minutes to walk from the stairs to the exit, where I encountered Corso again… Our thoughts were synchronized… Officially, it’s bunny season…

Always Live

Five minutes after my arrival at Sugar Bar, I encounter Owner Chris Corso, encircled within a quartet of bunnies (two of which were platinum blonde)… As one speaks with Corso, one easily surmises that his interests are not momentary… Our conversation covers the city, the post bricks revitalization, and both of our futures…

Speaking of ranging conversations, I encounter Randy Haffey at Park Street Patio… He and I discuss a pair of major upcoming events… The appearances of Frankie Delgado (April 30) and Pete Wentz (May 13).

Dirty, Putrid Tarnish Sugar

Appearances are my existence. The event invitations I receive entail celebrities, charities, city notables, premises, prizes, publicity, and various venues. Occasionally, they even include an aberrant subject.

Upon my arrival for the Vivid Video 25th Anniversary Celebration, I had scattered expectations. If anyone could present porn as a premiere vision, Owner Mike Gallichio and Promotions Superstars Randy Haffey and Shawn Money were the perfect trio. No one in this city can trump them for sensation. No one in this city can trump them for spectacle. Still, porn does not scream elite environment. Porn screams alone environment.

On Sugar Bar’s greatest nights, the employees and executives are not merely providers and purveyors. They join the party. They relish the party. Tonight, they were mostly invisible and scrambled. Their absence, their eyes, their frenetic texting spoke for this evening… Donnie Walhberg’s appearance was incomparable… Anything subsequent would have been a letdown… This subsequent was lethargic…

Not aiding, actually permanently maiming the event was the crowd that littered the upper and lower mezzanine, the dance floor, and the stripper pole area… They weren’t all horrific, in fact, a collection of bunnies scattered throughout the venue… Unfortunately, for every bunny, there was a minimum of one and occasionally three dirty, putrid things…

Their abnormal and multiple piercings, their overabundance of tattoos (including one demon that had his entire face inked) screamed societal reject… They screamed either eventual or previous incarceration… The bunnies were spectacular… But, they could not overcome the nightmare that surrounded them. They could not make invisible the collection, that I assume with certainty, reported to Satan at the end of the evening…

With every event, concept equals crowd. Mardi Gras enticed Freaks and Geeks… Walhberg enticed heifers (and for those who hate that term, please keep writing)… An adult video anniversary party enticed those who are inclined to watch adult videos… They should never, ever attend anywhere again…

Police Benefit From Spectacular Perfection

In Los Angeles, celebrities are omnipresent. They eat, drink, relax, and shop amongst ordinary citizens. They intermix with the everyday. In Columbus, our celebrities are fewer and much less casual. Jim Tressel rarely is seen enjoying dinner with his family. Les Wexner is never seen running everyday errands.

Prior to my arrival at Park Street Patio, I had mixed expectations for the Celebrity Bartender Competition. With five name city celebrities under one roof, how would the crowd react? How would the celebrities react? Would the energy disappear after the novelty wore off and we realized this was a one-time occurrence or would the digital flashes and energy resonate throughout the evening?

When I arrived, those questions seemed ridiculous. The energy was exquisite. Every bar seat was occupied. Every table was occupied. People were standing in the walkways, they were standing in the doorways… Clearly, the importance of this evening was apparent… Five celebrities, two of which would place on any top ten of the city’s elite, uniting to help those who protect and serve our city… The formula was perfect…

Also perfect and the reason I enjoy Park Street Patio (and of course, Sugar Bar) is the camaraderie I share with Owners Chris Corso and Mike Gallichio and Promotions Superstar Randy Haffey. Whether it was discussing next Wednesday’s Vivid Video event with Mike or Chris cracking jokes about how I spend my nights (although, I spend most of them in his venue) or Randy and I discussing how much he loves his job… The conversation and interaction are among the best I enjoy in this city… I know I write positively about these three all the time, but I must… They deserve it…

As the bartenders made their way through introductions, onto the floor, and inside the bar, one could sense the electric anticipation… Would they get the orders right? Would anyone break anything? How would they interact with customers? When the competition, which was less of a competition and more of a collaboration for charity (as it should be) commenced, the bar was swamped with people…

Celebrities, bartenders, bar backs… Instructions were quick… Orders were quicker… Jimmy Jam looked as though he had bartended his entire life… Within ten minutes, he was snapping off bottle caps as though this was his day job…. Kirk Herbstreit and Rick Nash were slightly slower… Not because they weren’t fast learners… Because everywhere they turned, a digital flash occurred… Someone asked them for a picture… Someone talked to them… In the first half hour, I think Herbstreit and Nash’s combined smiles outnumbered drinks poured… Obviously, they were the centers of attention…

Until the Pepsi Power Patrol walked onto the stage… The collection of red and blue bunnies, turned a jersey auction (which raised nearly $5000) into their own personal showcase… Forget that Herbstreit and Nash were bidding against each other for the jerseys… Forget that Corso spotlighted what an exemplary human being he is, by winning a jersey and donating it to a policeman (way to go Chris)… The half-dozen bunnies, notably Holly and Sarah, captured every eye and thought in the venue…

The combination of the Power Patrol, the Bartenders, Corso and company, the hundreds of flashes, and an excellent DJ separated this evening from any other I have enjoyed in this venue… April 2 was not the typical Thursday crowd which saunters into Park Street Patio seeking to relax with a beer and a basketball game… This crowd had a buzz (not just alcoholic)… Simply stated, when I cast my vote for Event of the Year… this is the evening…

As the evening concluded, Herbstreit and Nash continued their delightful relation with the assembled throng… Jimmy Jam, meanwhile, was clearly satisfied with his performance and seeking interaction of a different variety… As ten p.m. approached and the celebrities were officially cut, Jimmy Jam relocated himself to a table of bunnies… Relaxed and worn from the two hours, he appeared less as the person we hear every morning and more, the person we would encounter on a normal Thursday at Park Street…

Speaking of encounter… As midnight approached, I finally scored a conversation with Herbstreit and Nash… Before I say anything else, I must compliment their presence… Both were approachable and relatable… Particularly, Herbstreit, who clearly has not forgotten where he came from… Herbstreit, Nash, and I discussed this website, a possible interview, and when I discussed the Gossip Awards with Herbstreit, he mentioned a possible appearance… Whether or not this occurs, I want to personally thank Nash and Herbstreit for the time they allowed me… They are both outstanding individuals…

As I departed my three minutes of celebrity for other events and Herbstreit and Nash returned to their customer mingling (they stayed longer to continue raising money), I passed Holly, who had returned to the bar, having swapped the red and blue for a black and silver shirt and the perfect pair of jeans… She looked OUS (that would be gorgeous, luscious, scrumptious… Anything that ends in OUS)…

The celebrity bartender competition was not a success… Success implies pedestrian phrases such as a job well done… This was a titanic triumph… Haffey and all who participated should be proud of themselves… At a moment when police need our support more than ever in this city, Thursday showed them exactly what they are worth…

Five, Fun, & Fantastic

St. Patrick’s Day is unique… Before you reactively agree with or roll your eyes at that statement, consider the obvious… On the Saturday proceeding New Year’s Eve, venues do not host events and label the activities “Pre-Ball Drop Day.”

Given the aforesaid, I moderated my expectations prior to Tuesday evening… Saturday was St. Practice Day… Monday was Pre-Patty Day and both evenings were very well attended… It’s Tuesday, we’re approaching the middle of the work week when our minds mush and our focus evaporates and a hangover is not the obvious injection… As I walked Park Street toward Callahan’s, I knew the Irish themed venue would host a crowd… However, my expectations for the evening were tempered…

Callahan’s quickly made me rethink my tempered expectations… As I said, I knew the venue would have a crowd (It’s name is Callahan’s and it’s St. Patrick’s Day)… With that said, the bar was crushed, the energy was intense, and the cluster of green clad bunnies was exquisite… Bunnies munching pizza and dancing… Bunnies who used their Coach purses to match their outfits… The clusters were scrumptious….

They paled in comparison (I can’t believe I am saying this) to the experience I would have minutes later, when I encountered DJ Legend… Now, I had met DJ Legend previously, and he is an outstanding individual… However, I had no clue that he would score me complete access to the venue (which I had never been in and I appreciated)…

We walked up the stairs and a moment later, I was in Callahan’s immaculate top floor club… I can just imagine what the venue resembles on a Friday night when Legend is at the top of his game… We walk through the club and outside onto a rooftop, which apparently, will be converted into a rooftop club… (How sick is that?)… As nearly thirty minutes passed, we stood atop that roof, discussing all manner of promotions… simply two power players looking out onto our city…

Following that conversation, I darted across the street to Park Street Patio, which finally resembled it’s name with a shrunken indoor crowd, a stellar outdoor crowd, and an outstanding DJ spinning in open air… The energy was slightly relaxed and the communal experience of Park Street Patio was slightly less enthralling than the crushed cluster experience of Callahan’s… Yet, the atmosphere would easily trump what I would view later in the evening…

Additionally, (and I love this about the venue), you cannot ignore the excellent intrapersonal skills of Park Street Patio’s management… From Co-Owner Brian Swanson and Promotions Superstars Randy and Tori, the attention, the collegial interaction, is a benefit you cannot encounter at every venue… Especially Tori, a personal favorite, whose five minute conversation, you wish you could turn into fifty…

From Callahan’s crush and Park Street Patio’s community, I walked Vine Street into Lodge Bar and a complete surprise… Now, you read about Lodge Mardi Gras and I will personally divulge that they owned St. Practice Day… But, their crowd on Tuesday, didn’t net them the top of the medal stand… In fact, it was in a fist fight for the lowest spot on the medal stand…

Lodge Bar was busy… The bunnies were copious… and the favorites (with the exception of the Crown Princess) were working, but the energy, the overall encompassing vibe which Lodge has previously produced was absent… It is as simple as this… Lodge Mardi Gras was equivalent to Usain Bolt’s one hundred meter final… Tuesday night resembled a qualifying heat…

I will compliment Lodge Bar on their excellent choice of music however… Featuring a diverse set list and impressive crowd interaction, the Bling Crosby’s were worth every moment spent at the venue… The two man venue is not unlike some acts that have been featured at Lodge… With that said, their individuality made them an act worth mentioning… (Their debut CD drops soon, I will let you know if I get a chance to react)…

A venue not worth attending, mentioning, and I assume, for them, not worth opening on this evening was the Frog Bear and Wild Boar, which conceded the lackluster evening prior to midnight… When I arrived at the fourth of five venues, the lights were on, the chairs were on the tables, and the evening was over… I don’t know why people didn’t come out to the Arena District on this evening…

People did more than come out to McFadden’s… They mashed the venue… As I walked South Campus toward the location, the upstairs and downstairs patios were crushed, making me elated that I selected McFadden’s as my final experience… The craziness I expected from their day’s worth of events and the updates I had been receiving throughout the evening did justice to the madness which was still rocking as I arrived…

The split level energy was unbelievable… Downstairs, the DJ and the dance floor displayed the energy you crave from campus… Upstairs, the band (whose name escapes me at the moment, thus, if they are reading this, I apologize), owned the conversation with an eclectic set list that included “Peaches” and “Under the Bridge.” While I have heard both college and rock sound in this city, I have not encountered the charismatic force which was displayed by this band… They were stellar…

Equally stellar was the complete chaos and the bunnies encircling it… From a drunken Lucky Charm Sytease to Allie, to the always delectable Emily Rose, to the scores of bunnies that were rocking the dance floor, McFadden’s concluded my evening as it had commenced, as it should always conclude and commence, with a bunny crawl…

Five venues, 2.20 miles traveled, a hundred hands shaken, two hundred friends or acquaintances encountered, five hundred or more bunnies, and a thousand random drunken details… Simply stated, the reality crushed the expectations…

One Exquisite Evening

In this city, there are hundreds of memorable nights and dozens of amazing nights. A spectacular night requires an extra element. Memorable nights and amazing nights have alcohol and anticipation, splendor and success… Yet, spectacular nights have that aspect memorable and amazing nights will never…

Upon my arrival at Sugar Bar, one could note the presence of said extra element (and if you don’t know the “element” I’m referencing, you’ve obviously taken up residence in an undisclosed location)… Three hours prior to the arrival of Brody Jenner, Park Street Patio (which really should be given the nickname of official pre-game location for Sugar weekends) was buzzing…

As I walked from table to table, there were not the small groups which would normally arrive an hour before to enjoy one beer before bunny chasing… On this night, there were packs… Six, eight, and ten boy and bunny packs consuming shots, discussing the aforementioned celebrity… The energy not normally present in Sugar Bar until midnight on an ordinary evening, was vibrant at nine p.m. on this evening…

While I will take some credit for the promotion of this evening (first of all, I ran multiple announcements and second of all, if you don’t give yourself credit, who will), I must heap credit upon several members of the Sugar-Park Street management team… I know I’ve discussed factions or individual members of other venue’s management, but I will say without hesitation, no ensemble, despite different personalities, outperforms Sugar-Park Street…

Owners Chris Corso and Mike Gallicchio not only enjoy their occupations, they not only succeed at their occupations, they revel in their occupations… Promotions superstars Avi, Brian, Molly, and Tori could sell bubblegum in a lockjaw ward… And Randy, is in a word, omnipresent… He is always there, always anticipating, always with the correct answer…

As two hours elapsed, the anticipation of Jenner’s arrival and the crowd clamoring for that arrival, only exploded… I know I have discussed what a late city this is, and on most nights, you could set your watch for a midnight turnout, but on this night, the city announced their presence early… There were lines stacked twenty deep on the street, the dance floor was slammed, even the hallways, entranceway, and steps were crowded… (And if one were to line up every bunny that had arrived prior to midnight, I am certain they could encircle the walk from Park Street to Nationwide Arena)…

Now, I must at this point say the following (I promise, we will return to the bunnies momentarily)… I am not often jealous of someone else’s job… I have a good job and even if I were broke, I still normally don’t lust after another person’s occupation… With that said, rules have exceptions, and I am jealous of Chris Corso’s job…

Having the title of venue owner will score you some points… Being as successful as Chris has been, will undoubtedly score you some more… But, Chris Corso’s point total on this evening was simply ridiculous… Standing to the right of the main bar, surrounded by four, exquisite, off the chart, bunnies, I had to admit, for the first time in forever, I wanted someone else’s job… The platinum parade dancing with him, sipping drinks with him, talking to him was an embarrassment of riches…

Speaking of embarrassments of visual riches… I’ve discussed before, the ability of bunnies to wear anything, (potato sack, blanket, rug, end of a mop) as an outfit and get away with it… But, the variations on this night stretched all conceivable boundaries… From the seemingly painted on black dresses to the form flattering animal prints to the cutting edge ensembles, the bunnies tastes were exceptional…

I know you’re thinking, he has been talking for ten paragraphs… But, finally, the moment in this column and the evening arrived, Brody Jenner entered, slightly past midnight, surrounded by a phalanx of security, which would have made President Obama jealous… He was escorted to a table amidst screams and digital photography flashes and one could convey from his smile that he enjoyed every second of it…

As security scrambled to create enough room in his section and the bunnies swarmed for the best position from which to take a picture from or with him or get close enough to touch him, the entire episode unfolded like an Elton John song… Primas and prima donnas seeking space… Jenner, sitting like a prince, perched in his electric chair…

Since I mentioned Elton John songs (Thursday night’s alright for fighting)… Forty minutes (approximately) after Jenner’s arrival, the inevitable occurred… Feet from my twitter position, a fight ensued and three security guards quickly found themselves escorting, scratch that, dragging an intoxicated moron from the venue… Only this moron was really special, because after getting dragged from the mezzanine through the bar and the hall, he attempted to fight a trio of cops in the street… (I’m not completely smart, but I know, even when intoxicated, never to take on a cop)…

With the intoxicated moron (last time I will use the phrase, I promise) ousted, the attention returned (like it ever left) to Jenner, who continued humbly lapping it up… An hour later, the obviously not shy reality star finally spoke… “Are there any guys here that go to Ohio State,” he asked. “Are there any girls here that go to Ohio State? Are there any guys here that want f*** girls who go to Ohio State?” (His gift for interesting conversation aside, the venue sizzled with approval)…

About thirty minutes and another two hundred or so camera flashes after that statement, Jenner, engulfed again by security, walked from his table toward the exit… His head was down; he had a slight swagger, although he was clearly tired… He reminded me of a boxer who had just fought… He wanted more adulation, but could not stand to take it… He was rushed down the hall and into a waiting cab and if what I know of him is correct, he has called Lauren Conrad twice by now (just kidding)…

Amidst Jenner’s appearance, Dr. Mojoe provided another dazzling highlight, as they unveiled their spring collection… Having been to the store once and not having been very impressed, I did not know what to expect from this show, but understood that anything they showcased could only improve my opinion… They did more than improve my opinion… They impressed me… Their color choices were inspired, their patterns were appealing, and their styles were exceptional…

I will offer this caution… Dr. Mojoe chose the perfect collection of models for the items showcased… It was almost as if they fit the model to the clothes, instead of the other way around… Thus, there is the chance that clothes on the rack will appear less than desirable… With that said, and while I will review the collection more in-depth, I would recommend the impressive apparel…

Brody Jenner, fashion brilliance, a superb staff, personalities, and bunnies everywhere… Although I had never forgotten, tonight Sugar made me remember why the venue, on it’s greatest nights, owns this city’s nightlife… It’s not enough to get in the door… You want to be dancing with the table full of bunnies, with a bottle of champagne on that table… You want to be doing shots with the promoters in the V.I.P. Mezzanine… You want to be on the stage, in the dj booth, at the table next to the millionaire’s son… It’s this combination, part Les Deux and part Studio 54, that make Sugar a fantasy land that one you walk away from, you want to walk right back into…

And make no mistake; this was one of those greatest nights… As I stood in the mezzanine, I glanced toward the dance floor bar, where Chris Corso was standing… Eye contact, I nodded, he nodded… No words necessary… That look of recognition sealed this evening’s perfection…