Skirts, Stars Score Spotlight

Life’s objective is the spotlight. The reason celebrities are idolized and millionaires are rich is they adore the spotlight. They relish the spotlight. Their ambitions were never anonymity, conformity, or obscurity. That’s the thing about the spotlight. It will never seek you. You must seek it.

Upon my arrival for the Luau, McFadden’s was swarmed. Given Greek Week’s volume of activity and the unwelcome weather (when did May become this city’s official rain month), one would assume campus might relax. Instead, those who consumed alcohol all week ignored the rain and consumed alcohol one more evening.

And they consumed their alcohol inside an immaculately contrived paradise. It’s not as if McFadden’s had not transformed their interior previously… However, their conversion from campus haunt into a Jimmy Buffett lyric was remarkable. The first level crowd batting an oversized beach ball into several breakable objects… The second level crowd purchasing their pounders from a beer tub, which was remade into straw encircled hut… The décor was spectacular…

Once again, McFadden’s Promotions Superstar Amy scored. It is obvious at this point that she is a star among stars… With that said, her individual genius is almost incomprehensible… Lodge Bar and Jen Bunny have Kattie Minx… Park Street Patio, Sugar Bar, and Randy Haffey have a quartet… Amy is singular… She must conceive and execute the concept… If the concept collapses, she cannot sacrifice anyone… She is responsible…

Yet, the concepts never collapse… Amy’s presentations are consistently intriguing… Her visions are consistently unique… From New Year’s Eve to St. Patrick’s Day to both Little Black Dress Parties, Amy conceives the event… She promotes the event… And the bunnies and bunny chasers arrive and enjoy…

On this evening, they were thoroughly enjoying… From the limbo contest that included two dozen to the two bunnies who danced atop a booth, the energy was excellent. Incidentally, the bunnies were chased off their booth by bouncers, five minutes after they commenced… I assume the reason was safety, but the bouncers should have relaxed… The visual was spectacular…

Equally spectacular was Lester, who (for once) enhanced and did not detract from the atmosphere. Typically, Lester’s randomness, which includes an obligatory once an evening salute to President Obama, is revolting (we understand, he won, you supported him)… Tonight, Lester was superb… His conclusion of the limbo contest with “On A Boat” was appropriate… His transition of “Sweet Caroline” into “Paper Planes” was stellar…

Since we mentioned stellar, the immersion of the Lucky Charms into the Luau theme was exquisite… The combination of bikinis and grass skirts… The allure of skin, which was equal parts appropriate, enticing, and scandalous… The Lucky Charms are marvelous morsels on average evenings… With this ensemble, their magnetism was inconceivable…

Of course, my personal favorite Emily Rose was scrumptious… It wasn’t the obvious with her either… Her perfect physique was striking… She was every male’s aspiration… However, Brooke and Sytease were equally physically appetizing… Emily Rose’s flawlessly bronzed skin… Her off the beach complexion, which exquisitely offset her hair and eyes… As I have said, the term OUS was coined for Emily Rose and this evening was the perfect explanation as to why…

While Emily Rose, Brooke, and Sytease were marvelous, the charm that captured my attention, the charm that captivated my attention was the newest addition to the muffin menagerie, Alisha… I could have observed the obvious with her and had enough verbiage for two paragraphs, but what made her relevant, what catapulted her ahead in the conversation, was when she walked the bar.

I know what you’re thinking, charms walk the bar, they grind, they preen, they strut… It’s essentially their employment description… I will not argue any of that… However, watching Alisha, who could have simply walked the crowd and labeled her night successful, reminded me why McFadden’s is the campus venue… Alisha appeared relaxed… She appeared to be relishing the attention, as she reaffirmed my opening paragraph…

Throughout the evening, I had several conversations, whose essential premise was that McFadden’s has slowed since football season… While the upper and lower levels might not be impassible, while the Arena District may be consuming most of this website’s column inches, Alisha’s performance negated this premise… Crowd size is irrelevant… Number of columns is irrelevant… McFadden’s remains the official home of spotlight seekers now and forever…

Black, Bunnies, & Free Agent Bartenders

For the boys and bunnies that populate McFadden’s each evening, their attraction is the intoxicants, which inhabit bottles or clear plastic cups. For myself, the bartenders, managers, security, and staff are the attractions…

Upon my arrival for the Blackout Bash, I made a pair of rapid observations… Not everyone received the multiple e-mails and promos about wearing black (seriously, can you people read?) and whomever spent the afternoon decorating the venue, deserves free drinks for the next three months…

I know I gushed about McFadden’s New Year’s interior… However, Saturday night’s enhancement was more impressive and more unique… For this evening, you weren’t in McFadden’s, where spilled beer and thrown napkins stain the floor… You stepped into a quasi-cross between an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog full of photography (on the screens and arrayed in still montages throughout the venue) and a premier nightclub… Black draped curtains, elegant lighting, and enchanting stars…

Troy McKinley, the host of the party, and from what sources have told me, the concept artist behind the design managed the unthinkable… It’s not like McFadden’s hasn’t hosted a theme party before, they host one a week… He (in my opinion), masterminded a memorable evening… An even more memorable evening than New Year’s Eve, which I would have thought impossible…

McKinley, while genius, cannot take all the credit… The attire and the bunnies that showcased that attire, also created the evening… Now, I could spend hours setting up what I am about to type… I could discuss the mythology of the little black dress and it’s prominence in womanhood and how nothing (and I mean nothing) looks better on a bunny than the perfect black dress, but, instead, I will simply type the obvious… The troves and troves of bunnies (and they were everywhere) made this night…

From the silk-lace ensemble worn by one of the bartenders to the red and black flower print (with red shoes) worn by a customer bunny to Amy’s (McFadden’s Promotions Manager) low cut black dress to the hundred other different patterns and textures, the glamorous dresses and the gorgeous bunnies who exuded sex with every moment, were enough to turn observers into bunny hunters and hunters into stalkers… Compliment those dresses with the glow sticks, which McKinley was nice enough to provide and the evening found a whole new category of perfect…

Speaking of perfect… I know I have discussed the Lucky Charms previously, McFadden’s own combination of customer conversationalists and shot sellers, but I must discuss them anew for two reasons… The first reason being there are additions to the ensemble and the second reason being their brilliant role in this perfect event… Sytease (the leader of the collection) was stunning in her full-length black ensemble and silver necklace… And the rest of the Charms, who, from my information, sold an impressive number of pounders, jello and test tube shots, were equally impressive…

With that said, Brooke merits special mention… With the persona of a pre-psychotic Britney Spears and the flawless blonde hair and face of Hayden Panettiere, Brooke (although I only spent two minutes speaking with her), could rival Sytease or Emily Rose as McFadden’s hottest charm…

As midnight approached and the crowd, which began the night as impressive and swelled toward ridiculous, continued exerting phenomenal energy, two dozen (yes 24) bunnies overran the bar for a quartet of songs that included, appropriately, “Single Ladies.” I assume the bunnies (a few of whom were larger bunnies), would have occupied the space for the evening, but alas, they were asked to dismount so that jewelry could be awarded….

And then, McFadden’s made their one mistake of this evening… They never announced that the jewelry was being awarded… They announced ten minutes remaining until… five minutes remaining until… But, they never announced the actual start of the awarding… A half an hour after the five-minute call, I see a bunny (and this one was a bunny), carrying a little black bag, which I knew was one of the jewelry prizes… What the… Now, don’t misunderstand me, this was a monumental evening and the fact that an announcement was not made was minor, but still… I was writing about the event, the prizes were a focal point of the event… It would have been nice if someone had told me…

It also would have been nice if I had known prior to the evening that this was Karl’s last night at McFadden’s… I would have prepared a tribute video (alright, I am just kidding)… Like Taryn before him, Karl walked the bar one final time… Unlike Taryn, his hair was down and crazy and his soundtrack was “Welcome to the Jungle…” Karl shook, he strutted, he scorched more than a few willing throats with shots, and then he spent the next two hours with Lester taunting him with farewell selections, including “Total Eclipse of the Heart…”

Now, I assume you’re waiting for a sentimental salute to Karl… You wont get one… It turns out that while Taryn joined the real world, Karl is merely exiting one opportunity for another… Sources tell me he is relocating to Park Street Patio…

I don’t know if I will see him as much, but I know this… When a free agent leaves one franchise for another, my respect for that free agent doesn’t diminish… The same is true when one bartending superstar walks out from behind one bar, only to step behind another…

Bunnies, Belligerence Bring In 2009

In “H to the Izzo’s” opening line, Jay-Z comments “You coulda been anywhere in the world, but you're here with me…”

Prior to New Years, I could have drown in party invitations (and I want to say before I say anything else that I appreciated everyone)… From the Arena District to Campus to Easton and Polaris, I received three dozen invites… While I considered each carefully and all had their plusses and minuses, my decision came down to an important and sentimental truth… When I moved to Columbus, the first venue that I visited, the first venue that impressed me was McFadden’s….

From my entrance, I knew I would not be disappointed. I know I’ve discussed McFadden’s uniqueness, however, I underestimated their brilliant versatility… Their transformation from campus hang out to chic, immaculate wonderland was remarkable… For this evening, you weren’t in McFadden’s, where you down shots… You were in a crystal paradise… Gorgeous snow flakes, silver disco balls, draped curtains… even white lights draping the DJ booth… Pictures would not do the evening justice… The reinvention was exquisite…

Even the bartenders and staff sparkled… Amy (Marketing Director) in a brilliant blue, barely there dress… Becca (Amy’s assistant) in a jaw dropping black ensemble… Even Dustin, Jackson, and Karl shed the jeans and McFadden’s logos in favor of fashion… While the staff makeover was obviously not the reason anyone attended, it was well worth the price of admission…

The bunnies were also worth the price of admission… Drinking everything they could consume, shaking their asses in dresses that in some circumstances appeared painted onto their bodies, their radiating sexuality could make anyone forget they were with a date… McFadden’s always has bunnies… However, this rush was different… Especially, when they took over the bar (more later)…

I must, at this point, interrupt my bunny lust to mention the buffet… Actually, I must rave about the buffet… When a venue throws in free food, you have to expect the worst… You have to expect since they gave you an open bar, they will scrimp on food… McFadden’s did not… The cooks deserve a round of applause or drinks, whichever they want… Meat balls, chicken balls, smothered chicken, pasta… Their spread was more impressive than their decorations (and that’s saying something)…

As midnight neared, I found myself talking with one of the security and I noticed an ambulance and fire truck outside… With recent memories of McFadden’s smoke mishap, I was curious… I walked outside and seven cops and fire fighters rushed past me headed toward (you guessed it)… Skye Bar… I will have more in our next post…

Moments later, I returned from Skye (how do you think I would have more if I didn’t go down there myself and find out) and the ball drop countdown had begun… Eyes on every television screen, Lester stirring the crowd… Five, four, three, two, one… The ball drops, the champagne bottles pop, and the making out begins… Here is where I sound like a bitter single person (which I am single, but not bitter)…

New Year’s Eve is a couples holiday… I get that and I also get that it’s tradition to kiss your significant other as your first act post countdown, but seriously, one kiss, one passionate, thirty second, adorable lip lock… That’s it people! When your making out carries on for the rest of the night (which some couples did), when your making out gets to the point that you are basically reproducing in front of a room full of people (which some couples did), when your making out gets in the way of people trying to get to the bar or leave the room (which some couples did), it’s freaking time to stop kissing… I don’t sound bitter at all do I?

From bitter to belligerent… Within forty minutes of the ball dropping, the massive, uninterrupted alcohol consumption caught up with the alcohol consumers… And the crap hit, well what the crap hits… Boyfriends and girlfriends started fighting, friends started fighting… I saw three people get tossed within a two minute span, Woody almost get kicked in the (cough) male anatomy… People fight so they wouldn’t leave, people argue, curse, threaten… I even, at one point, saw McFadden’s General Manager get into an argument with a drunken idiot, while the drunken idiot was surrounded by cops… I have said it before, I will say it again… Enjoy your drinks… Don’t ruin my enjoyment with your drinking…

Speaking of enjoyment (and I promised more about bunnies), they finally scaled the bar an hour after the ball drop… they were well worth the wait… Amy (yes, promotions director), Becca, McFadden’s newest bartender, a Taylor Swift look alike, rocked the downstairs bar… And upstairs, six bunnies in dresses so form fitting and flattering that they made makes want to scream… Black, blue, teal…. The color was irrelevant… Every male I looked at as they worked their butts had stopped and was drooling…

There exists (and I don’t know where I heard it) a cliché that your new year will be defined by what you do in the first hour of the year… As I watched these bunnies, I couldn’t help but think… If this is to be my year… I can't wait for each one of the next 364 days… Enjoy those January 1 hookup wishes and hangover dreams…

Taryn’s Last Shot

McFadden’s is, without question (and if I have said this before I apologize), one of the most unique venues in this city… Why is this? You never know quite what to expect… You never what might happen within any given minute… This is what draws you in, makes you walk from campus or the South Gateway garage in the freezing cold… And this is what makes you not want to leave… You don’t want to miss what happens next… You don’t want to be the one to hear the second hand story of the fight or the drama or the favorite bartenders final evening…

When this night started, it looked as though five minutes could be a useless stay… I thought last night was lazy… This night began with a dozen or so coffee cloches, circles of a half dozen friends talking and enjoying their happy hours, nut nothing else… No vibe, no energy… I assumed everyone was done with finals and here everyone was acting as though they had three tomorrow… An hour into the night, I was thinking of bailing for Sugar Bar (hey, free alcohol is free alcohol)… Then it happened…

I was checking my cell and someone approached me, someone who I had never met before (not unusual, I am Gossip Cbus)… He asked me, “Are you here for a happy hour with anyone?”

I said no… He then explained the happy hour process to me (which I found helpful, because if you read this blog, you know I’ve never been to McFadden’s before) and told me that I should go to the promotions person (Amy), tell her I was with him and then he would be one person closer to scoring a gift certificate… Now, I’ve been to McFadden’s a dozen times since football season started… But I’ve never had someone try to recruit me for a happy hour… Yes, I know, I said it… free alcohol is free alcohol and a gift certificate to McFadden’s would be well worth it… But, seriously, recruiting for happy hour?

About twenty minutes later, Woody (chief of security and a great person) and entourage entered for Woody’s birthday celebration… This turned the night from semi-interesting to officially interesting… The drinks started flowing, the energy increased, and finally, two hours into the night, McFadden’s was McFadden’s… As the night improved, a rumor started making it’s the way through the air… a rumor which eventually made it’s way to me and I was able to confirm… I’ll have the breaking news soon….

Several random conversations later, I run into Tad, another bouncer at McFadden’s and one of their very best people… After about four minutes of talk, a girl, I cannot use the word bunny as she wasn’t and I’d have to retire the word if I did use it for her, approached Tad… The chunky, drunken, leopard print wearing mess puts her arms around Tad and says “You look like you need a girl.” (I’m sure Tad did, but girl and wildebeest are two entirely different things)… There was a brief exchange, the girl apparently didn’t like the tone of the conversation and she split… At this point Tad gave me a look like, that one was entirely to drunk…

Imagine my surprise when twenty minutes later, the girl, crouched down first in a booth and then on a table, has to literally be carried out by two people… I was shocked (sarcasm duly noted)… The leopard disaster was followed five minutes later by another girl, carried out the door by a bouncer… People, if you cant handle your alcohol, don’t get drunk with people, and get drunk alone… Stay home, so I’m not forced (believe me its my pleasure) to mock you…

Amidst the overly intoxicated non-bunnies, Woody hit the bar to buy shots… Let me repeat that, Woody (who I must again say happy birthday to) hit the bar to buy shots… I am told we will have pictures tomorrow… After only a few moments, Woody was replaced (and though I like Woody, I must at this point say THANK GOD) by bunnies… A dozen bunnies, smiling, grinding, and shaking their asses… It was the moment everyone had been waiting for and it was summarized perfectly by Tad, “I love this job,” he says (he wasn’t even working tonight!).

As the dozen bunnies rocked the bar, I have to say that the two most impressive were the Lucky Charms… I know I haven’t mentioned either Sytease or Emily before, but they are outstanding… They are gorgeous, the work hard, and I know my opinion of their dancing was limited to what I saw on the bar, but I was impressed….

Speaking of random acts on the bar… Lester, who had been calling for graduating seniors all night, finally abandoned that call in a most unusual way… He took McFadden’s country… (No, I’m not kidding)… Garth Brooks, Dueling Banjos, Big and Rich and the song that stole the show… The Devil Went Down to Georgia (Charlie Daniels Band), complete with Paul, Jackson, Lester, and a friend on the bar playing (and I use that word loosely) what were supposed to be instruments (in reality, whatever was laying around behind the bar that they could get their hands on)… They posed, they acted… It was easily the most bizarre and entertaining moment of the evening…

The most poignant moment of the evening? In one word… Taryn… When I arrived tonight, I found out that this was her last night… (Unthinkable… These superstars actually move into our world and have real jobs?). On her last night, Taryn came dressed to remember, red Santa hat, red top, and a sash that read retired… As I watched her walk the bar, only moments before I left, shaking, buying free shots, I couldn’t help but think of all those moments and when she seemingly had customers eating (or drinking( out of the palm of her hand…

I left before close, but I can only imagine, as she counts out her tips and walks to her car for the last time tonight, what it must be like for her and what it will be like for the rest of us without her… Taryn, we will miss you… When you were good, you were the best we could watch… You were a superstar…

Clothing Chaos & Christmas Craving

My intention was the Christian Audigier Fashion Celebration live, via twitter only. However, if you were following our twitter (and I saw some of you on your cell phones and crackberries), you know way more went on than could be fit into forty updates. That’s the thing about McFadden’s and honestly, the reason they are one of the best night spots in this city… For every major occurrence, there are one hundred little details worth telling and retelling.

During one of the twitter updates, I mentioned a police report being filed. According to multiple sources, a drunken customer (one of those at McFadden’s? imagine that) tossed a cup over the railing. It is unclear after that what happened, except what I have confirmed is that the drunken moron and friends started talking and physical contact ensued… The contact involved a McFadden’s bouncer, who was simply out to relax on his night off…

This is a memo for all the drunken morons who seem to inhabit this city and somehow always seem to finds their way to McFadden’s when I am there… If you are going to get into some kind of fight, beat up each other… Stop taking on or getting into trouble people I know…

Alright, onto the fashion celebration, which was less of a celebration and more of a sixty people crammed into a ten foot space screaming for approval so they could score some free swag. I know that sounds like an out of control situation and trust me it was! But, the event and format were uniquely McFadden’s. From beginning to end, the energy was amazing… Guest DJ Marc Da Spot, Boogie tossing out clothes, and bunnies, gorgeous bunnies losing their voice and their sanity…

As I wrote yesterday, the clothes lived up to expectations. The unique print patters and color schemes, made every piece must want and for those who caught them every piece a true value. In the hectic aftermath of the show, I spoke to one of the fashion reps and we will definitely bring you more of Christian Audigier… a designer with a flare for style and presentation.

Within the screaming, clothes tossing, and general mayhem, there were some highlights… The Lucky Charms dancing on the DJ booth, Lester dancing on the DJ booth (yes, literally on top of the railing)… The idiot who stole a shirt of a girl (and should do three days in the Columbus jail for just for being an ass)… And the ultimate highlight, when Lester played the McFadden’s National Anthem, Don’t Stop Believing…

As the song started, Boggie screamed that he wanted the performance on You Tube, so as he led the singing, which was word for word (literally the only thing missing was Steve Perry), Boogie filmed it all…. Afterward I spoke with him and hopefully, he will be sending us the footage…

The chaos finally ended with (as mentioned on twitter), Boogie giving the last piece of swag to a birthday girl, who was apparently so appreciative that her and several friends took turns grinding, cuddling, and enjoying Boogie… My favorite moment of their desperation? The whip cream shot… Yes, someone actually sprayed whip cream into a jello shot container and three of the bunnies lapped it up…

When the fashion posse split, the action slowed down, but there were no shortage of colorful moments… Several girls decked for the Holiday season, including one who did her hair entirely in Christmas bows… Lester singing the praises of Barack Obama (I thought DJ’s were apolitical)… More random music (I will say more in a moment) and dancing by people, who frankly, should never, EVER dance…

As for the music (see I told you I would say more)… Lester, seriously, what are you thinking? Once again, God Bless the USA and the Star Spangled Banner and if that wasn’t bad enough Sunday Bloody Sunday from U2… I get that McFadden’s is an Irish name, but seriously, we needed a U2 song to confirm that? I will say this one more time (and I am certain they will force me to say it again)… Play dance songs, play “Heat of the Moment” or Journey, but don’t get excessively weird on us… We’re there to snuggle bunnies or shake our ass… Not to feel as though we’re listening to our parents radio station…

I couldn’t end this wrap (which is approaching a thousand words now) without mentioning the individual star of the night, who was coincidentally the individual star of the previous night… Taryn. The first session of her strutting the bar, form fitting black dress, smile, sick dance moves, taking a shot herself… That was enough to win the evening… But, her group performance (there were four people on the bar, including bouncer Tad) to Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas,” that was amazing. Any bunny can look sexy during a sexy song. But, it’s the bunnies who take the non-sexy songs and make them sexy, those are the special ones… As Mariah’s final words were sung, Taryn, I’m sure, had every male wishing she would end up under their tree…

Until our next night out (which starts in hours)… Hookup wishes and Hangover dreams…