Characters and storylines are omnipresent. Characters are the people and personalities which crystallize an evening’s moments. Storylines pattern and progress an evening’s entirety.
Upon my arrival for the Park Street Festival, the panorama was perfection. Parents and children strolling the scenery… Children smiling as their faces were painted… Couples and singles walking their dog… One could not have requested (and if they did, they would have been rejected) a superior visual to start the sun soaked afternoon…
As announced on twitter, I received the perfect start to my afternoon… Joe Boxer invited me onto his program… I will discuss my appearance momentarily, but I must compliment (and potentially gush about) Joe Boxer and WNCI. In three hours, the radio station’s triad and myself broached twenty separate conversations… A myriad of subjects, including this website’s ambition, composition, and origin, were discussed… These exchanges could have severed merely as icebreakers (and they did)… However, they also improved my intelligence…
Once, I labeled Joe Boxer as one of the most authentic, engaging people that one could encounter… If I continued praising his humanity for the next three pages, my assessment would remain spectacularly insufficient… Joe is not a role model you hope your children emulate… He is the role model you know you should emulate…
I promised I would return to my radio appearance, which I assumed would encompass three minutes… My appearance encompassed three hours and three segments… If you weren’t listening (and you should have been), Joe and I discussed the Gossip Awards, his hosting of them, this website, people watching, and platinum bunnies… If you were listening (I applaud you), I know I spoke with exceeding speed… You attempt twittering and have someone, as you’re typing, tell you your appearance is in thirty seconds…
Since I mentioned people watching (a phrase I never utilize), Park Street Festival’s afternoon was an amusing mosaic. From the lady who strode with a multi-colored purse and a gorilla wrapped around her arm to the Pittsburgh Steelers fans who offset their jerseys with terrible towels (no I’m not kidding), the calamitous cornucopia reaffirmed the obvious… This city needs a stylist…
The Steelers tandem simply epitomized the random and ridiculous montage of sports apparel which was present… The St. Louis Cardinals were copious… And every conference was represented… Big East, Mid American, Citywide Alliance of Kickball Champions… I enjoy sports… However, Park Street Festival isn’t the set of College Game Day… (Replace the gear with a polo)…
Between our initial and second twitter sessions, I encountered Park Street Patio Promotions Superstar Tori Lioness… As we discussed the event, one observance interwove through our conversation… Both of us were on minimal sleep and our work was half-over… When Tori suggested a shot, my conscience opposed alcohol (it’s not a stimulant)… All my mind could articulate is “I will have one with you…”
When Tori and I’s consumption and conversation concluded, Jamie Precious captured my attention… Jamie has amassed three mentions in three columns… We could have discussed the periodic table and she would have maintained my attention… Yet, as we discussed Les Wexner and his impact upon this city, Jamie reminded me of what should be this website’s watchwords… Those are column material are column material…
What is applicable concerning people is applicable concerning venues… And Park Street Patio’s weekend crowds reinforce this… While other venues awaited or exchanged patrons, Park Street Patio acquired and sustained patrons throughout the event… They were never crushed… Yet, Park Street Festival never poached their audience…
After ninety minutes of rest (not relaxation), Gandhi invited me onto her program. I promoted the website. We then shared an off-air conversation about this city; it’s media and nightlife… As I said on twitter, Gandhi has more personality than professionals who have been in the business a decade… For her, randoms are merely unmet friends…
Amidst Ghandi and I’s conversation, Gonzo appeared, munching on a pulled pork sandwich… His apparel (a shirt which read “my mustache brings all the boys to the yard”) and our conversation (whether twittering sounds as a dirty word) assimilated perfectly into the twilight’s random atmosphere… Clearly, the characters would be this evening’s storyline…
One of those characters… Lodge Bar Assistant General Manager Trevor Day, a superstar among management in this city… Superstars do not typically commit colossal mistakes… They comprehend managed expectations… They comprehend exceeded expectations impress, even when the original expectations are miniscule… Imagine my shock when he raised expectations…
Whereas most view cockiness as a defect, Trevor views cockiness as a competitive advantage… His expression and eyes assume victory; they present victory, even when victory is a virtual impossibility… Common sense implored he should minimize expectations… He should embrace the term average night… Instead, Trevor appeared to bet the house on his pair of fours…
As I returned to the Park Street Festival, I encounter Drew Hanson and Jimmy Jam, walking amongst the throng… We locate a somewhat unoccupied space (somewhat at this hour, a relative term) and the pair continue their previous conversation… Now, I have no clue concerning the context or subject matter… Yet, this is irrelevant… Jimmy Jam and the Cheshire Cat’s incidental complaints are as entertaining as any stage production as I have ever witnessed…
Moments after midnight, the Park Street Festival concluded… And the storylines commenced… Park Street Patio was crushed… The entrance line extended into the street and locating one’s friends would have required google earth… Lodge Bar was swarmed… And Callahan’s was merely scattered… Inside the booth, Gonzo was mimicking Mike Gallicchio’s prowl of the previous week… Where was his crowd? Where was his crowd?
One hour subsequent, as anyone walking toward their car, would have been better off walking home, Callahan’s crowd vastly improved… Consistently the perfectionist, Gonzo’s prowl remained ever present… He concocted sets… He connected sets… One glance toward the dance floor and one would assume he would have been elated… Yet, Gonzo’s intensity never relented…
Until one hour remained… It’s not as if there was a sudden influx of patrons… Gonzo’s strut simply reappeared… Gonzo mixed, he spun, he scratched, his hands noted the rhythm of the selection, his head noted the rhythm of the selection, he interacted with the crowd and the selection… For the final sixty minutes, his spectacular personality was palpable…
For the second consecutive evening, Park Street Patio was the unquestioned champion… I could spend several paragraphs praising their performance… However, their inside and outside were virtually impassable… And their bars were stacked five deep… Those scenarios scream for themselves…
When I returned to Lodge Bar, the venue was crushed… I could type never again will I doubt Trevor… However, that presumptive statement would be inaccurate… I will doubt him again… You never assume victory is possible with a pair of fours, until the winner sitting across from you is counting your chips… On this evening, Trevor was counting every single one…
Now, I would be remiss if I exited this column without admonishing DJ Michael. I sincerely respect him… He possesses skills… Unfortunately, there is a miniscule line between genius and madness and he flirted with it… “Barbie Girl,” “Mmmbop…” Did someone invite me to a retirement ceremony for insipid teenage anthems?
Concerning this website, I’ve been asked the question of why? What occurs in the various venues is not relevant… It is not news… Why analyze, report, and twitter every evening? In this city, characters and storylines are omnipresent. Information and stars are nonexistent. All four are coveted and inescapable. I am simply their soundtrack.
Showing posts with label DJ Michael. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DJ Michael. Show all posts
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Scrumptious Excellence & Sickening Excrement
This city’s nightlife and reality are polar opposites. Occasionally, reality intrudes upon our exquisite charade. Executives are reassigned. Slingers are removed. Servers are replaced.
Theoretically, Alexa’s Summer Escape (I’ll explain the title) was this evening’s subject. The intoxicating tart will receive the requisite number of sentences, but as frequently occurs obvious and unexpected column material presented itself… And by presented itself, I mean alcohol, embarrassment, and randomness were involved…
Since warm weather commenced, Lodge Bar’s crowd is difficult to evaluate. They separate themselves between the main room and the patio… I would label the individual cliques as scattered, then I pause and consider that if a catastrophic rainstorm struck, the combined mass would rival any evening I witnessed in cold weather…
If a catastrophic rainstorm is a possibility (and it obviously is), can I request one to obliterate every bachlorette in this city? I know that comment may offend anyone and I know that I’ve spent several sentences on this subject and I assume that you are over reading my opinion… You are not half as over reading my opinion as I am stating my opinion… However, the putrid volume of what I witnessed this evening necessitate several additional sentences…
It’s not that I wish to cuddle another controversy in every column, but the excruciating and excremental behavior seems to escalate… Just when I assume I’ve seen every repugnant and ridiculous utilization of a pink plastic penis, these eventual ex-wives embarrass themselves… They embarrass the sanctity of marriage… A necklace of penises? A name tag which reads baby mama?
I know I said this on twitter… Yet, it’s worth repeating for emphasis…. If you’re wearing a penis on your head (anywhere on your person), your nametag should read stupid… You may as well wear a shirt with the words pathetic trash emblazoned upon it… Because that is what you are… Pathetic trash… Your actions clearly crave attention, which makes you pathetic… Your actions indicate that you have zero respect for yourself, which makes you trash…
I have said repeatedly, heifers have a right to a social life… Bachlorettes have no such right… Heifers may ruin my visual, but their insolence is the result of appearance, which is only partially controllable… Bachlorettes choose their penis attire… They choose their insolence and tastelessness… Thus, I can choose to banish them… (and since I haven’t said it yet, save your e-mails)…
Since I’ve mangled bachlorettes and mentioned heifers, I must intertwine the pair for a moment… Amidst a conversation with Joe Information, I asserted that every bachlorette party was forgettable… He countered that one party, a collection of heifers with flower necklaces, was not… Immediately, I realized what I had always assumed and never admitted… My standards are acceptable… Joe’s are exceedingly low…
As the evening progressed, Lodge Bar’s energy remained impressive… Energy was never a concern… The conversation was prevalent… The dance floor was crushed… I didn’t want to depart because the venue was dull… I considered departing because the composition of those inhabiting the venue was dreadful… Fortunately, the favorites salvaged the evening…
Once again, DJ Michael (and I swear, we will alter that name by the next column) was spectacular… I could spend multiple paragraphs discussing how he cultivated this evening’s superb energy, but I will instead state the obvious… No spinner in this city possesses his mix of audacity and style…
Speaking of audacity and style, Jen Bunny frolicked in the spotlight… With the vast majority of muffins, it’s an aspect or a pair of aspects that capture your attention…. With Jen Bunny, it’s the entire experience… Whether encouraging mass consumption of a shot, dancing, or compelling you to dance, Jen is a mesmerizing encounter… She is simply someone attention craves…
While Jen Bunny was alluring, Lindsey Natural ensorcelled my attention… I know I have discussed off the rack previously and even enumerated several examples, but Lindsey Natural (hence her gloss), may be the perfect personification of the term… With a Coach purse on her arm and the most engaging eyes of any platinum bunny I have encountered, Lindsey never invites anyone’s attention… She simply owns it…
Whether it’s dancing on the stage (which wasn’t unique to her) or ordering a shot while singing “Mmmbop,” Lindsey possesses an effortless quality that ninety percent of bunnies (even though they are bunnies) still covet… She will never struggle for the spotlight… Her personality will simply provide it for her…
Another platinum bunny and consistent spotlight object is Lodge Bar Promotions Superstar Kattie Minx… Typically, my mentions are predicated upon an amusing anecdote or important insight the favorite provides… For the purpose of this column material, I don’t need paragraphs to justify Kattie’s inclusion… I don’t need sentences either…. I simply need one unambiguous ten-word statement… No one can rock a pink dress as she can…
I know I promised an Alexa story, but the truth is, I don’t have one… Not one that would rival her previous exploits…. This wasn’t an evening where she danced the cupid shuffle… This wasn’t an evening where she utilized bar equipment as a microphone… On her final evening (see, I explained the title), Alexa was simply the professional, thorough server one would expect…
One month ago, Rick Genius and I shared a conversation and while I will leave the vast majority private, one statement he made merits reprinting… “Alexa could teach servers in this town at their profession ten years about how to be a server…” Rick is correct… Precocious personality aside (although we heart it), Alexa is preeminent in her profession…
As I stood behind the stage, staring toward the Lodge bunnies making it rain napkins, I reflected upon a repetitious question I have received… Anyone who doesn’t comprehend the volume of coverage this venue receives, should meet Jen Bunny, Rick Genius, Joe Information, Kattie Minx, Lindsey Natural, and the intoxicating tart… They should stand with me behind the stage starting toward the entrancing visual… Then, they should consider their question answered…
Theoretically, Alexa’s Summer Escape (I’ll explain the title) was this evening’s subject. The intoxicating tart will receive the requisite number of sentences, but as frequently occurs obvious and unexpected column material presented itself… And by presented itself, I mean alcohol, embarrassment, and randomness were involved…
Since warm weather commenced, Lodge Bar’s crowd is difficult to evaluate. They separate themselves between the main room and the patio… I would label the individual cliques as scattered, then I pause and consider that if a catastrophic rainstorm struck, the combined mass would rival any evening I witnessed in cold weather…
If a catastrophic rainstorm is a possibility (and it obviously is), can I request one to obliterate every bachlorette in this city? I know that comment may offend anyone and I know that I’ve spent several sentences on this subject and I assume that you are over reading my opinion… You are not half as over reading my opinion as I am stating my opinion… However, the putrid volume of what I witnessed this evening necessitate several additional sentences…
It’s not that I wish to cuddle another controversy in every column, but the excruciating and excremental behavior seems to escalate… Just when I assume I’ve seen every repugnant and ridiculous utilization of a pink plastic penis, these eventual ex-wives embarrass themselves… They embarrass the sanctity of marriage… A necklace of penises? A name tag which reads baby mama?
I know I said this on twitter… Yet, it’s worth repeating for emphasis…. If you’re wearing a penis on your head (anywhere on your person), your nametag should read stupid… You may as well wear a shirt with the words pathetic trash emblazoned upon it… Because that is what you are… Pathetic trash… Your actions clearly crave attention, which makes you pathetic… Your actions indicate that you have zero respect for yourself, which makes you trash…
I have said repeatedly, heifers have a right to a social life… Bachlorettes have no such right… Heifers may ruin my visual, but their insolence is the result of appearance, which is only partially controllable… Bachlorettes choose their penis attire… They choose their insolence and tastelessness… Thus, I can choose to banish them… (and since I haven’t said it yet, save your e-mails)…
Since I’ve mangled bachlorettes and mentioned heifers, I must intertwine the pair for a moment… Amidst a conversation with Joe Information, I asserted that every bachlorette party was forgettable… He countered that one party, a collection of heifers with flower necklaces, was not… Immediately, I realized what I had always assumed and never admitted… My standards are acceptable… Joe’s are exceedingly low…
As the evening progressed, Lodge Bar’s energy remained impressive… Energy was never a concern… The conversation was prevalent… The dance floor was crushed… I didn’t want to depart because the venue was dull… I considered departing because the composition of those inhabiting the venue was dreadful… Fortunately, the favorites salvaged the evening…
Once again, DJ Michael (and I swear, we will alter that name by the next column) was spectacular… I could spend multiple paragraphs discussing how he cultivated this evening’s superb energy, but I will instead state the obvious… No spinner in this city possesses his mix of audacity and style…
Speaking of audacity and style, Jen Bunny frolicked in the spotlight… With the vast majority of muffins, it’s an aspect or a pair of aspects that capture your attention…. With Jen Bunny, it’s the entire experience… Whether encouraging mass consumption of a shot, dancing, or compelling you to dance, Jen is a mesmerizing encounter… She is simply someone attention craves…
While Jen Bunny was alluring, Lindsey Natural ensorcelled my attention… I know I have discussed off the rack previously and even enumerated several examples, but Lindsey Natural (hence her gloss), may be the perfect personification of the term… With a Coach purse on her arm and the most engaging eyes of any platinum bunny I have encountered, Lindsey never invites anyone’s attention… She simply owns it…
Whether it’s dancing on the stage (which wasn’t unique to her) or ordering a shot while singing “Mmmbop,” Lindsey possesses an effortless quality that ninety percent of bunnies (even though they are bunnies) still covet… She will never struggle for the spotlight… Her personality will simply provide it for her…
Another platinum bunny and consistent spotlight object is Lodge Bar Promotions Superstar Kattie Minx… Typically, my mentions are predicated upon an amusing anecdote or important insight the favorite provides… For the purpose of this column material, I don’t need paragraphs to justify Kattie’s inclusion… I don’t need sentences either…. I simply need one unambiguous ten-word statement… No one can rock a pink dress as she can…
I know I promised an Alexa story, but the truth is, I don’t have one… Not one that would rival her previous exploits…. This wasn’t an evening where she danced the cupid shuffle… This wasn’t an evening where she utilized bar equipment as a microphone… On her final evening (see, I explained the title), Alexa was simply the professional, thorough server one would expect…
One month ago, Rick Genius and I shared a conversation and while I will leave the vast majority private, one statement he made merits reprinting… “Alexa could teach servers in this town at their profession ten years about how to be a server…” Rick is correct… Precocious personality aside (although we heart it), Alexa is preeminent in her profession…
As I stood behind the stage, staring toward the Lodge bunnies making it rain napkins, I reflected upon a repetitious question I have received… Anyone who doesn’t comprehend the volume of coverage this venue receives, should meet Jen Bunny, Rick Genius, Joe Information, Kattie Minx, Lindsey Natural, and the intoxicating tart… They should stand with me behind the stage starting toward the entrancing visual… Then, they should consider their question answered…
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Natural Successes
Essentially, alcoholic concoctions are universal. In their backyard, anyone can merge champagne and orange juice. In their basement, anyone can mix a martini. But, confronted by a dozen screaming patrons, only a few can simultaneously sustain their sanity and skill. These few are natural slingers.
Upon my arrival for Where in Columbus is Bucky the Bear, Lodge Bar was buzzing. The relaxed atmosphere and scattered conversation were perfect compliments for the early evening’s sun soaked weather. Weather which, while I am certain everyone enjoyed it, assumedly enticed away more customers than it contributed…
Since I mentioned perfect and enticing, I was within Lodge Bar’s confines for five minutes before Promotions Superstar and Natural Slinger Kattie Minx acquired my attention. Minx possesses a dozen desirable qualities… Yet, the one that attracts you the most, the one that sells her the most is she is a contradiction… Seriously… She is simple and elegant… She is effortless and exquisite…
We speak for ten minutes, every second of which her eighteen carat eyes sparkle and her thirty-six carat smile, which could light the Arena District, is evident… You wish you could turn the ten minute conversation into two hours… Minx is a delight, she is a talent, she is a hot buttered biscuit…
Speaking of hot buttered biscuits, Crown Princess Kadi was also present this evening… What I appreciate about scattered crowds is that they provide a chance to speak with the superstars and honestly, I can’t speak with Kadi enough… Every conversation, regardless of where it commences includes seven subsequent topics… They include articulate analysis and unfiltered truth… When they conclude, I always wish the next conversation could commence immediately…
From Kadi, I transition into another conversation, actually an intelligence exchange with Lodge Bar DJ Michael… I know what you’re thinking… I led with drink slingers… I’ve discussed two drink slingers… Why am I inserting a mixer into the middle of this menagerie? I will explain…
Conversation is sparring… You don’t ask a question, receive an answer, and shut up… You ask a question, the other person answers quickly, you respond, they respond, you react, and they react… Michael can spar with anyone… Our conversation ranges from discussing “Words that Work” to how Steve Rubell influenced my writing to several song lyrics, which both of us recite from memory… The free flow of dialogue is exhilarating…
Michael’s spin skills are impressive also… I know I discussed his penchant for playing appropriate music, but his own repertoire merits another stratum of respect… From “Nine in the Afternoon” to “Santa Monica,” Michael’s range was incredible… These weren’t random tracks severed for people who weren’t paying attention… These were brilliant background…
While Michael provided ambiance for the main room, Lodge Bar’s patio provided a separate exceptional environment… If you relocated everyone inside, the main room would have been swarmed… With that said, I cannot question those who preferred their conversation and cocktails amidst sun soaked scenery…
I will simply remind them as they read this column that they missed the Bucky the Bear contest, which included phenomenal prizes such as Third Eye Blind tickets, Crew and Clippers tickets… I honestly wish this contest would have had more participants… The concept was outstanding and the photos, which could have been bland, were anything but bland… This contest merited fifty entrants, instead of the fifteen I believe participated…
As the contest concluded and I traversed the steps toward Vine Street, I encountered an intriguing situation… A forty person party was set to enter, but didn’t when the lead bunny was told the cover charge would not be waved… She cursed Lodge Bar as a “sh=t hole” and the party exited…
This is what I mean when I stated that only a few can simultaneously sustain their sanity and skill. If this was a backyard or basement, that bunny would have received retaliation…
Upon my arrival for Where in Columbus is Bucky the Bear, Lodge Bar was buzzing. The relaxed atmosphere and scattered conversation were perfect compliments for the early evening’s sun soaked weather. Weather which, while I am certain everyone enjoyed it, assumedly enticed away more customers than it contributed…
Since I mentioned perfect and enticing, I was within Lodge Bar’s confines for five minutes before Promotions Superstar and Natural Slinger Kattie Minx acquired my attention. Minx possesses a dozen desirable qualities… Yet, the one that attracts you the most, the one that sells her the most is she is a contradiction… Seriously… She is simple and elegant… She is effortless and exquisite…
We speak for ten minutes, every second of which her eighteen carat eyes sparkle and her thirty-six carat smile, which could light the Arena District, is evident… You wish you could turn the ten minute conversation into two hours… Minx is a delight, she is a talent, she is a hot buttered biscuit…
Speaking of hot buttered biscuits, Crown Princess Kadi was also present this evening… What I appreciate about scattered crowds is that they provide a chance to speak with the superstars and honestly, I can’t speak with Kadi enough… Every conversation, regardless of where it commences includes seven subsequent topics… They include articulate analysis and unfiltered truth… When they conclude, I always wish the next conversation could commence immediately…
From Kadi, I transition into another conversation, actually an intelligence exchange with Lodge Bar DJ Michael… I know what you’re thinking… I led with drink slingers… I’ve discussed two drink slingers… Why am I inserting a mixer into the middle of this menagerie? I will explain…
Conversation is sparring… You don’t ask a question, receive an answer, and shut up… You ask a question, the other person answers quickly, you respond, they respond, you react, and they react… Michael can spar with anyone… Our conversation ranges from discussing “Words that Work” to how Steve Rubell influenced my writing to several song lyrics, which both of us recite from memory… The free flow of dialogue is exhilarating…
Michael’s spin skills are impressive also… I know I discussed his penchant for playing appropriate music, but his own repertoire merits another stratum of respect… From “Nine in the Afternoon” to “Santa Monica,” Michael’s range was incredible… These weren’t random tracks severed for people who weren’t paying attention… These were brilliant background…
While Michael provided ambiance for the main room, Lodge Bar’s patio provided a separate exceptional environment… If you relocated everyone inside, the main room would have been swarmed… With that said, I cannot question those who preferred their conversation and cocktails amidst sun soaked scenery…
I will simply remind them as they read this column that they missed the Bucky the Bear contest, which included phenomenal prizes such as Third Eye Blind tickets, Crew and Clippers tickets… I honestly wish this contest would have had more participants… The concept was outstanding and the photos, which could have been bland, were anything but bland… This contest merited fifty entrants, instead of the fifteen I believe participated…
As the contest concluded and I traversed the steps toward Vine Street, I encountered an intriguing situation… A forty person party was set to enter, but didn’t when the lead bunny was told the cover charge would not be waved… She cursed Lodge Bar as a “sh=t hole” and the party exited…
This is what I mean when I stated that only a few can simultaneously sustain their sanity and skill. If this was a backyard or basement, that bunny would have received retaliation…
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
An Off the Rack Evening Inspires Indelible Images
Off the rack is uncomplicated. Off the rack the bunny who is so perfect, that she appears as though she could awaken in the morning and with no visible effort, appear as perfect as you always witness… Off the rack is the friend, who simply with a glance can finish your sentence… Off the rack is the venue, where the conversation is ever-present, the drama is nonexistent, and the familiarity is forever.
For the second consecutive evening, Lodge Bar was crushed. Given St. Patrick’s Day’s mixed attendance, the fact that Cinco de Mayo doesn’t register as an obvious holiday, and Tuesday is the middle of the workweek, I had minimal expectations for the evening. Lodge Bar obliterated those expectations. They made me question why I ever had those expectations?
There wasn’t a half-block line, as there was on Saturday… However, the upper and lower bar areas were satiated, the walkways were impassable, and other venues would have taken the patio crowd and called their evening acceptable. As I watched the menagerie of drink slingers and supporters sprint past me, I could only surmise the obvious… Lodge Bar owned this evening…
Owning Lodge Bar was a panorama of petite perfections, whose appearance and fashion savvy were spectacular… My evening may have started with amazement for the exceptional attendance… However, within twenty minutes, my attention refocused on the attack of five-foot bunnies…
From the beautiful brunette, whose choice of apparel, a Lebron James jersey, captured my attention to the pair of angelic bunnies in form fitting white to the five-bunny clutch who encircled the last table before the dance floor… The compilation was incredible… I’ve seen clutches of bunnies (you know that) and I’ve seen scrumptious short bunnies (you know that), but the assemblage of diminutive platinum perfection was uniquely appreciated…
Speaking of appreciated perfection, Lodge Bar must consider appearance when they are hiring… I don’t know if they do and I’m certain such a consideration would violate several laws… However, you view anyone of their employees from promoter to bartender to server and you can articulate one inescapable conclusion… There must be a minimum level of aesthetic professionalism to work there…
If one wanted to argue with that, I could respond with several examples. And Lodge Bar Promotions Superstar Kattie Minx would be exhibit A. I must have spoken with a half dozen employees who were relaxing on their night off… However, none was as engaging as Kattie… She is insightful, intelligent, and after five minutes, it is obvious why her and Jen Bunny are the promotions combination in this city…
Kattie Minx is also gorgeous… Most women, even bunnies, wouldn’t rate minimal attention in a simple brown and white stripe top and jeans… Minx rates and retains your attention… I said this to her and I will restate for the benefit of those reading… If half of the teenagers in this city were as gorgeous as her, this would be a much better zip code…
While Kattie is exemplary, the exquisite morsel who once again owned the conversation through both her appearance and personality, was the intoxicating tart herself, Alexa… You would assume one would run out of adjectives and then you realize with every glance, Leonardo da Vinci never ran out of brushstrokes and Frank Sinatra never ran out of notes… Alexa simply acts more precocious… She simply appears more scrumptious… Just when you assume you have run out of words, she invites more…
And on this night, she was encouraging more… Dressed in black and yellow with spectacular jeans and an adorable juicy couture hoodie, Alexa was stellar… What impresses the most is the effortlessness of her appearance… The outfit I described is not designer… It is one that a thousand bunnies in this city own… Yet, Alexa elevates the outfit from simple clothes to wearable art…
Meanwhile, her actions elevate her from simply another perfect face to a core of attention… Whether its dancing on the stage or in the walkways, holding a half dozen conversations at once, or her shriek when another employee (in a friendly manner) smacks her ass… Alexa doesn’t crave attention… She makes attention crave her…
When my (and likely others) attention was not on Alexa, our focus was the Bling Crosby’s, who as Mission 19 did Saturday, reveled in and stoked the crowd’s energy… With performers, it’s never about simply singing… It’s about attaining and utilizing the crowd’s adoration… The Bling Crosby’s made the crowd, both those who inhabited the dance floor and those who simply watched, their virtual relatives…
Their personalities do not impair their cause… I’m standing on stage with DJ Michael and the Bling Crosby’s lead singer walks toward me and hands me a shot… Drink this, he says… Now, I’m never one to reject free alcohol and it’s not as though no one has ever offered me a shot… Still, the fact that they will randomly award a shot speaks to their ordinary greatness as musicians…
Since I mentioned DJ Michael, he was once again superb… The commonality that I am discovering with mixers in this city and DJ Michael is not an exception, is that the crowd motivates them… Proceeding and succeeding the Bling Crosby’s, DJ Michael once again utilized that motivation and stoked the crowd’s intensity…
As the evening concluded, a dozen patrons arrayed the stage… Amidst “Don’t Stop Believing,” Alexa and another employer parodied Steve Perry and the others danced… The scene not only concluded a exemplary evening… It made me remember that while most of our life is a series of images, which pass us by like towns on the highway, sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens… And we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image, it is a moment that will live on forever…
For the second consecutive evening, Lodge Bar was crushed. Given St. Patrick’s Day’s mixed attendance, the fact that Cinco de Mayo doesn’t register as an obvious holiday, and Tuesday is the middle of the workweek, I had minimal expectations for the evening. Lodge Bar obliterated those expectations. They made me question why I ever had those expectations?
There wasn’t a half-block line, as there was on Saturday… However, the upper and lower bar areas were satiated, the walkways were impassable, and other venues would have taken the patio crowd and called their evening acceptable. As I watched the menagerie of drink slingers and supporters sprint past me, I could only surmise the obvious… Lodge Bar owned this evening…
Owning Lodge Bar was a panorama of petite perfections, whose appearance and fashion savvy were spectacular… My evening may have started with amazement for the exceptional attendance… However, within twenty minutes, my attention refocused on the attack of five-foot bunnies…
From the beautiful brunette, whose choice of apparel, a Lebron James jersey, captured my attention to the pair of angelic bunnies in form fitting white to the five-bunny clutch who encircled the last table before the dance floor… The compilation was incredible… I’ve seen clutches of bunnies (you know that) and I’ve seen scrumptious short bunnies (you know that), but the assemblage of diminutive platinum perfection was uniquely appreciated…
Speaking of appreciated perfection, Lodge Bar must consider appearance when they are hiring… I don’t know if they do and I’m certain such a consideration would violate several laws… However, you view anyone of their employees from promoter to bartender to server and you can articulate one inescapable conclusion… There must be a minimum level of aesthetic professionalism to work there…
If one wanted to argue with that, I could respond with several examples. And Lodge Bar Promotions Superstar Kattie Minx would be exhibit A. I must have spoken with a half dozen employees who were relaxing on their night off… However, none was as engaging as Kattie… She is insightful, intelligent, and after five minutes, it is obvious why her and Jen Bunny are the promotions combination in this city…
Kattie Minx is also gorgeous… Most women, even bunnies, wouldn’t rate minimal attention in a simple brown and white stripe top and jeans… Minx rates and retains your attention… I said this to her and I will restate for the benefit of those reading… If half of the teenagers in this city were as gorgeous as her, this would be a much better zip code…
While Kattie is exemplary, the exquisite morsel who once again owned the conversation through both her appearance and personality, was the intoxicating tart herself, Alexa… You would assume one would run out of adjectives and then you realize with every glance, Leonardo da Vinci never ran out of brushstrokes and Frank Sinatra never ran out of notes… Alexa simply acts more precocious… She simply appears more scrumptious… Just when you assume you have run out of words, she invites more…
And on this night, she was encouraging more… Dressed in black and yellow with spectacular jeans and an adorable juicy couture hoodie, Alexa was stellar… What impresses the most is the effortlessness of her appearance… The outfit I described is not designer… It is one that a thousand bunnies in this city own… Yet, Alexa elevates the outfit from simple clothes to wearable art…
Meanwhile, her actions elevate her from simply another perfect face to a core of attention… Whether its dancing on the stage or in the walkways, holding a half dozen conversations at once, or her shriek when another employee (in a friendly manner) smacks her ass… Alexa doesn’t crave attention… She makes attention crave her…
When my (and likely others) attention was not on Alexa, our focus was the Bling Crosby’s, who as Mission 19 did Saturday, reveled in and stoked the crowd’s energy… With performers, it’s never about simply singing… It’s about attaining and utilizing the crowd’s adoration… The Bling Crosby’s made the crowd, both those who inhabited the dance floor and those who simply watched, their virtual relatives…
Their personalities do not impair their cause… I’m standing on stage with DJ Michael and the Bling Crosby’s lead singer walks toward me and hands me a shot… Drink this, he says… Now, I’m never one to reject free alcohol and it’s not as though no one has ever offered me a shot… Still, the fact that they will randomly award a shot speaks to their ordinary greatness as musicians…
Since I mentioned DJ Michael, he was once again superb… The commonality that I am discovering with mixers in this city and DJ Michael is not an exception, is that the crowd motivates them… Proceeding and succeeding the Bling Crosby’s, DJ Michael once again utilized that motivation and stoked the crowd’s intensity…
As the evening concluded, a dozen patrons arrayed the stage… Amidst “Don’t Stop Believing,” Alexa and another employer parodied Steve Perry and the others danced… The scene not only concluded a exemplary evening… It made me remember that while most of our life is a series of images, which pass us by like towns on the highway, sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens… And we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image, it is a moment that will live on forever…
Sunday, May 3, 2009
A Public Service Announcement From Generation One A.M.
Generation One A.M. conducts meetings when the vast majority of our city is asleep. We connect in casual and unimaginable ways. We consume more alcohol in four years, than our parents consumed in twenty. We make important choices via facebook, instant message, and text. We seek the spotlight in any manner imaginable. If any or all of these illustrate you, you are of this generation.
Upon my arrival for Dos de Mayo, Lodge Bar was crushed. When I say I crushed, I don’t mean merely impassable walkways. I mean the entrance line consumed half a block, there was a two deep stack in the red room, and the patio crowd could have exceeded the Garage Bar’s capacity. The menagerie of patrons, dancing, drinking, singing and talking was incomprehensible.
And whereas the bunnies were scarce at McFadden’s, Lodge Bar’s every area was a bunny clutch. You couldn’t walk ten steps and not encounter one… They were on the stage, on the dance floor, seated at tables, talking with their friends, and guzzling alcohol as if it were chocolate… If you were a single male and you couldn’t induce one into a conversation, you were either an ox or you weren’t trying…
And these were fashionable bunnies… No couch patters or outdated logos were present… Vogue could have done an entire shoot this evening… The colors were bright and vibrant… The prints were leopard, zebra, and others… The form flattery was also perfect… One could easily locate any cut and clarity they desired…
From every angle, the top railing above the dance floor, behind the stage, on the steps adjacent to the DJ booth, in the entranceway, the panorama of bunnies was exquisite… I didn’t regret my previous two hours spent at McFadden’s… I simply regretted that I didn’t have two more hours to enjoy the panorama…
What made the evening exceptional and unique was that throughout the two hours I twittered, I barely spoke with any Lodge Bar employees… Now, I know what you are thinking, I have a minimum of one employees name in every column… How could I say not speaking with them was an exceptional evening? Simple… the crushed spectacle satisfied both of our objectives… I got column material and they got paid…
What was unsatisfying was yet another varied display of bachelorette debauchery… I know I have mentioned this previously and allow me to say that as a member (and essentially founder) of Generation One A.M., I am not opposed to excess… However (and this is a huge however), excess and stupidity are entirely opposite… Excessive is consuming one more Soco and Lime than you should have and dancing on the bar… Stupid is wearing a pink plastic penis on your head and mimicking anally assaulting a stuffed bear…
And while I am on the subject, why are the penis displays necessary? Bunnies and heifers, males know what they are… They know what they will be inserting into you after you make them go through a week of flowers, guests, and vows… They don’t need, and more specifically the rest of this city doesn’t need to see you wear one on your head to show us you are getting married… That cubic zirconia on your finger makes that point…
I have said it before, I will repeat it again… I’m not demeaning weddings and if, the night before, the bride to be wants to get crazy, I am fine with that… However, avoid displays that make the rest of us want to throw up… We don’t need your crowns or your sashes or pink plastic penises….
What I could have enjoyed, and I’m assuming the crowd would have enjoyed also, was another three or four sets from Mission 19, who proliferated an already nuclear energy… I had seen Ryan and Joe perform previously and I knew what to expect… Yet, as they reveled in the crowd’s energy, as they stoked that energy, you could view them elevating their performance…
It’s not the song selection or even the vocals that epitomize Ryan and Joe… What makes them special, what sets any band apart, is their personality… As they create energy, consume shots, interact with the crowd, and sing, you sense that their persona isn’t contrived… What they are showcasing on stage isn’t an act… They are this entertaining…
My observation was confirmed within ten minutes of their final song, when Ryan I spoke off stage… Given his “99 Problems” rendition, I suggested (only half-jokingly) that he should sing “Public Service Announcement” when the band returns for Red White and Boom… Ryan (who said on stage several times that he was drunk) proceeded to almost flawlessly rattle off the song… He said afterward it’s a personal favorite, but that’s irrelevant… Anyone with that level of knowledge and skill is remarkable…
Equally remarkable was the man in the spotlight when Mission 19 was not in the spotlight, Lodge Bar Saturday Night DJ Michael… Now, some mixers would see the between sets opportunity as a moment for their own agenda… Michael didn’t and I applaud him… He kept a packed dance floor pulsating with “Single Ladies,” “Poker Face,” and “If You Seek Amy…” There are DJ’s in this city that could learn from him…
As Michael spun his closing selections and the evening concluded, predictably bizarre and yet still entertaining behavior ensued… An apparently disgruntled girl wrote on her receipt “give me better service f&ck&r.” Exactly, what did she believe she would accomplish? If someone is terrible, you leave them a minimal tip… You don’t insult them on your receipt or the next time (and there’s always a next time), they spit in your cocktail…
Then, there was Seth (and no his name isn’t actually Seth, I’m using that because of this scene in Entourage)… With one minute remaining for legal alcohol purchases, he requested a Jager Bomb… He was informed that it was cash only… And he offered one hundred dollars… I’m serious… He offered one hundred dollars for a shot… Ignore for a moment that he was intoxicated (actually plastered is the word)… When he woke up in the morning, he would have had to wrestle with an impossible question… Which was worse, the hangover or the fact that he will now be short on his bills?
With the lights brightened and the crowd exiting the premises, I could finally speak with the evening’s true stars… Mike and Nick, two of the most insightful people I encounter on a weekly basis… Jake, one of the most genuine people I have met since I started this website… Promotions Superstar, bartender, and biscuit Jen Bunny, who I think said five words to me, but yet remained adorable…
The two most notable closing conversations were with (and anyone could have seen this coming) Crown Princess Kadi and Promotions Superstar\Bartender Kattie… Princess and I could talk everyday and yet every conversation with her could last two hours… Her personality is that infectious… Kattie is delightful… Her age exceeds 21, of that I am almost positive, and yet her appearance remains completely scrumptious…
As almost a half dozen conversations concluded, the thoughts of the stars and myself were universal… After an abysmal Friday night, where rain dictated the agenda, Generation One A.M. responded with a provocative, one sentence statement… Allow me to reintroduce myself…
Upon my arrival for Dos de Mayo, Lodge Bar was crushed. When I say I crushed, I don’t mean merely impassable walkways. I mean the entrance line consumed half a block, there was a two deep stack in the red room, and the patio crowd could have exceeded the Garage Bar’s capacity. The menagerie of patrons, dancing, drinking, singing and talking was incomprehensible.
And whereas the bunnies were scarce at McFadden’s, Lodge Bar’s every area was a bunny clutch. You couldn’t walk ten steps and not encounter one… They were on the stage, on the dance floor, seated at tables, talking with their friends, and guzzling alcohol as if it were chocolate… If you were a single male and you couldn’t induce one into a conversation, you were either an ox or you weren’t trying…
And these were fashionable bunnies… No couch patters or outdated logos were present… Vogue could have done an entire shoot this evening… The colors were bright and vibrant… The prints were leopard, zebra, and others… The form flattery was also perfect… One could easily locate any cut and clarity they desired…
From every angle, the top railing above the dance floor, behind the stage, on the steps adjacent to the DJ booth, in the entranceway, the panorama of bunnies was exquisite… I didn’t regret my previous two hours spent at McFadden’s… I simply regretted that I didn’t have two more hours to enjoy the panorama…
What made the evening exceptional and unique was that throughout the two hours I twittered, I barely spoke with any Lodge Bar employees… Now, I know what you are thinking, I have a minimum of one employees name in every column… How could I say not speaking with them was an exceptional evening? Simple… the crushed spectacle satisfied both of our objectives… I got column material and they got paid…
What was unsatisfying was yet another varied display of bachelorette debauchery… I know I have mentioned this previously and allow me to say that as a member (and essentially founder) of Generation One A.M., I am not opposed to excess… However (and this is a huge however), excess and stupidity are entirely opposite… Excessive is consuming one more Soco and Lime than you should have and dancing on the bar… Stupid is wearing a pink plastic penis on your head and mimicking anally assaulting a stuffed bear…
And while I am on the subject, why are the penis displays necessary? Bunnies and heifers, males know what they are… They know what they will be inserting into you after you make them go through a week of flowers, guests, and vows… They don’t need, and more specifically the rest of this city doesn’t need to see you wear one on your head to show us you are getting married… That cubic zirconia on your finger makes that point…
I have said it before, I will repeat it again… I’m not demeaning weddings and if, the night before, the bride to be wants to get crazy, I am fine with that… However, avoid displays that make the rest of us want to throw up… We don’t need your crowns or your sashes or pink plastic penises….
What I could have enjoyed, and I’m assuming the crowd would have enjoyed also, was another three or four sets from Mission 19, who proliferated an already nuclear energy… I had seen Ryan and Joe perform previously and I knew what to expect… Yet, as they reveled in the crowd’s energy, as they stoked that energy, you could view them elevating their performance…
It’s not the song selection or even the vocals that epitomize Ryan and Joe… What makes them special, what sets any band apart, is their personality… As they create energy, consume shots, interact with the crowd, and sing, you sense that their persona isn’t contrived… What they are showcasing on stage isn’t an act… They are this entertaining…
My observation was confirmed within ten minutes of their final song, when Ryan I spoke off stage… Given his “99 Problems” rendition, I suggested (only half-jokingly) that he should sing “Public Service Announcement” when the band returns for Red White and Boom… Ryan (who said on stage several times that he was drunk) proceeded to almost flawlessly rattle off the song… He said afterward it’s a personal favorite, but that’s irrelevant… Anyone with that level of knowledge and skill is remarkable…
Equally remarkable was the man in the spotlight when Mission 19 was not in the spotlight, Lodge Bar Saturday Night DJ Michael… Now, some mixers would see the between sets opportunity as a moment for their own agenda… Michael didn’t and I applaud him… He kept a packed dance floor pulsating with “Single Ladies,” “Poker Face,” and “If You Seek Amy…” There are DJ’s in this city that could learn from him…
As Michael spun his closing selections and the evening concluded, predictably bizarre and yet still entertaining behavior ensued… An apparently disgruntled girl wrote on her receipt “give me better service f&ck&r.” Exactly, what did she believe she would accomplish? If someone is terrible, you leave them a minimal tip… You don’t insult them on your receipt or the next time (and there’s always a next time), they spit in your cocktail…
Then, there was Seth (and no his name isn’t actually Seth, I’m using that because of this scene in Entourage)… With one minute remaining for legal alcohol purchases, he requested a Jager Bomb… He was informed that it was cash only… And he offered one hundred dollars… I’m serious… He offered one hundred dollars for a shot… Ignore for a moment that he was intoxicated (actually plastered is the word)… When he woke up in the morning, he would have had to wrestle with an impossible question… Which was worse, the hangover or the fact that he will now be short on his bills?
With the lights brightened and the crowd exiting the premises, I could finally speak with the evening’s true stars… Mike and Nick, two of the most insightful people I encounter on a weekly basis… Jake, one of the most genuine people I have met since I started this website… Promotions Superstar, bartender, and biscuit Jen Bunny, who I think said five words to me, but yet remained adorable…
The two most notable closing conversations were with (and anyone could have seen this coming) Crown Princess Kadi and Promotions Superstar\Bartender Kattie… Princess and I could talk everyday and yet every conversation with her could last two hours… Her personality is that infectious… Kattie is delightful… Her age exceeds 21, of that I am almost positive, and yet her appearance remains completely scrumptious…
As almost a half dozen conversations concluded, the thoughts of the stars and myself were universal… After an abysmal Friday night, where rain dictated the agenda, Generation One A.M. responded with a provocative, one sentence statement… Allow me to reintroduce myself…
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Mindy Hall, Randomness Rock Frog Bear & Wild Boar
America is obsessed with celebrity… The celebrity can be illegitimate. It can be self-indulgent. It can even be unfavorable… If someone is assessing, discussing, or replicating you, they are not paying attention to someone else… And that attention is what you crave.
Following my extra hour, I arrived at the Frog Bear and Wild Boar, with minutes remaining until Mindy Hall’s appearance… Now, if you were following us on twitter (and I know some were, I saw your phones)… You would know that I delayed coverage of this event not once, but twice, mostly due to the early anemic crowd… Thankfully, the crowd was vastly improved when I returned…
Amidst the crowd, I encountered Frog Bear and Wild Boar Promotions Superstar Jeff, who was visibly amped for Mindy Hall’s appearance… Our conversation covered (which it seemingly always does), an infinite number of topics… None more memorable or ridiculous than the event several bricks venues have planned for next weekend… The Snuggie Bar Crawl… (Immediately, upon seeing the poster, I had one thought… I can’t cover these venues anymore; they’re encouraging people to wear blankets with sleeves).
Jeff and I’s conversation continued into the Gossip Awards, the Scratch Pack and several other upcoming events… We were also joined by a bunny, who talked faster than most people consume shots… While her conversational tone was perplexing, her point was concise and clear… The Frog Bear and Wild Boar isn’t crushed six days each week, because they don’t market themselves into colleges (My only thought is why not?)…
As the conversation concluded, I encountered another pair of previous subjects… Lodge Bar DJ Michael and Frog Bear and Wild Boar Owner David Allsbrooks. Michael and I discussed this website and that he had attempted to lobby his friends into his employer, but they wouldn’t… Allsbrooks and I discussed the Oho State spring game (which he apparently had to DVR, because he was playing golf)…
With the clock approaching Hall’s appearance, the crowd continued improvement… Unfortunately, the crowd’s randomness also continued… The guy in the motorcycle jacket obsessed with her standing in the corner… The heifer who had a tacky crown on her head (we’ll discuss that subject again soon)… And the random that owned the evening’s initial conversation… The white person who was break dancing… Yes, I said it… He was break dancing… (The eighties phoned… They’d like him back)…
Finally, Mindy Hall arrived at approximately eleven… From her initial moment, one could surmise that this wouldn’t be the typical city celebrity appearance… Lodge Bar would have roped off a section… Sugar Bar would have put security around her and made her invisible and unapproachable… The Frog Bear and Wild Boar allowed her to interact with the crowd…
Wearing a scrumptious dress and spider web inspired strappy sandals, Mindy was rapidly the subject of every male’s attention and every female’s jealousy… The crowd encircling her rarely numbered fewer than twenty and they followed with her as if they were Augusta’s patrons following Tiger Woods onto Amen Corner…
Aside from Mindy Hall (you mean there were people in the venue not paying attention?), the crowd remained impressive… As I said on twitter, one can always gage the tone of the evening through the actions and movements of the bartenders… If they are dancing, the night is either energetic or pedestrian or they are drunk… If they are barely communicative, they are either bored or swamped… Tonight, they were sprinting between orders… Bolting from register to register, making sure that the crowd following Mindy Hall could return to following her…
Since I mentioned the bartenders, I must recognize one specifically… I know I’ve never mentioned Sarah, but after speaking with her on this evening, I cannot comprehend why I haven’t… With an eighteen-carat personality, an uncomplicated mindset, and a smokehouse rasp in her voice (what is it with bunnies and that smokehouse rasp?), Sarah is a captivating combination… You want to speak with her… You want to flirt with her… You don’t want to piss her off….
Equally captivating (for a very different reason) was DJ Bombay, who for the second consecutive week, scorched the patio with his skills… From hip-hop and rap to salsa and techno, Bombay’s selections ran the gambit… They were the most random you will hear in this city… However, they were not ridiculous… There was an organized chaos to his spinning… There was a premise for every song and transition…
If only the evening would have shared a similar premise… Someone offered a bathroom attendant fifty dollars to allow them to have sex with someone else in said bathroom… A dozen heifers crushed the dance floor, offsetting Bombay’s brilliance… And three iniquitous bachlorette parties, each more horrific than their predecessor, made me rethink why anyone in this city ever willingly proposes to someone… I will say this without hesitation; I enjoy the Frog Bear and Wild Boar… But, this crowd was ridiculous…
As she finally worked away from the crush that had encircled her, Mindy and I spoke for minutes (she also has the smokehouse rasp in her voice)… We discussed (speaking of random) her spider web inspired shoes, which unbeknownst to me, were purchased at a Cincinnati mall… I quickly realized that despite her television appearance… Despite her renowned… Mindy is a simple attraction…
Overall, the appearance and the evening were a scintillating success and while I could close with any one of a dozen stories, I will close with the half-dozen tennis bunnies, who perfectly epitomized this evening… They entered at approximately 12:30… They wore pastel tops, white skirts, and truly the most random plaid socks I have ever seen…
Their ensembles were self-indulgent… I am certain there must have been opinions of them which were unfavorable… However, people were noticing them… And obviously, that notice is what they craved…
Following my extra hour, I arrived at the Frog Bear and Wild Boar, with minutes remaining until Mindy Hall’s appearance… Now, if you were following us on twitter (and I know some were, I saw your phones)… You would know that I delayed coverage of this event not once, but twice, mostly due to the early anemic crowd… Thankfully, the crowd was vastly improved when I returned…
Amidst the crowd, I encountered Frog Bear and Wild Boar Promotions Superstar Jeff, who was visibly amped for Mindy Hall’s appearance… Our conversation covered (which it seemingly always does), an infinite number of topics… None more memorable or ridiculous than the event several bricks venues have planned for next weekend… The Snuggie Bar Crawl… (Immediately, upon seeing the poster, I had one thought… I can’t cover these venues anymore; they’re encouraging people to wear blankets with sleeves).
Jeff and I’s conversation continued into the Gossip Awards, the Scratch Pack and several other upcoming events… We were also joined by a bunny, who talked faster than most people consume shots… While her conversational tone was perplexing, her point was concise and clear… The Frog Bear and Wild Boar isn’t crushed six days each week, because they don’t market themselves into colleges (My only thought is why not?)…
As the conversation concluded, I encountered another pair of previous subjects… Lodge Bar DJ Michael and Frog Bear and Wild Boar Owner David Allsbrooks. Michael and I discussed this website and that he had attempted to lobby his friends into his employer, but they wouldn’t… Allsbrooks and I discussed the Oho State spring game (which he apparently had to DVR, because he was playing golf)…
With the clock approaching Hall’s appearance, the crowd continued improvement… Unfortunately, the crowd’s randomness also continued… The guy in the motorcycle jacket obsessed with her standing in the corner… The heifer who had a tacky crown on her head (we’ll discuss that subject again soon)… And the random that owned the evening’s initial conversation… The white person who was break dancing… Yes, I said it… He was break dancing… (The eighties phoned… They’d like him back)…
Finally, Mindy Hall arrived at approximately eleven… From her initial moment, one could surmise that this wouldn’t be the typical city celebrity appearance… Lodge Bar would have roped off a section… Sugar Bar would have put security around her and made her invisible and unapproachable… The Frog Bear and Wild Boar allowed her to interact with the crowd…
Wearing a scrumptious dress and spider web inspired strappy sandals, Mindy was rapidly the subject of every male’s attention and every female’s jealousy… The crowd encircling her rarely numbered fewer than twenty and they followed with her as if they were Augusta’s patrons following Tiger Woods onto Amen Corner…
Aside from Mindy Hall (you mean there were people in the venue not paying attention?), the crowd remained impressive… As I said on twitter, one can always gage the tone of the evening through the actions and movements of the bartenders… If they are dancing, the night is either energetic or pedestrian or they are drunk… If they are barely communicative, they are either bored or swamped… Tonight, they were sprinting between orders… Bolting from register to register, making sure that the crowd following Mindy Hall could return to following her…
Since I mentioned the bartenders, I must recognize one specifically… I know I’ve never mentioned Sarah, but after speaking with her on this evening, I cannot comprehend why I haven’t… With an eighteen-carat personality, an uncomplicated mindset, and a smokehouse rasp in her voice (what is it with bunnies and that smokehouse rasp?), Sarah is a captivating combination… You want to speak with her… You want to flirt with her… You don’t want to piss her off….
Equally captivating (for a very different reason) was DJ Bombay, who for the second consecutive week, scorched the patio with his skills… From hip-hop and rap to salsa and techno, Bombay’s selections ran the gambit… They were the most random you will hear in this city… However, they were not ridiculous… There was an organized chaos to his spinning… There was a premise for every song and transition…
If only the evening would have shared a similar premise… Someone offered a bathroom attendant fifty dollars to allow them to have sex with someone else in said bathroom… A dozen heifers crushed the dance floor, offsetting Bombay’s brilliance… And three iniquitous bachlorette parties, each more horrific than their predecessor, made me rethink why anyone in this city ever willingly proposes to someone… I will say this without hesitation; I enjoy the Frog Bear and Wild Boar… But, this crowd was ridiculous…
As she finally worked away from the crush that had encircled her, Mindy and I spoke for minutes (she also has the smokehouse rasp in her voice)… We discussed (speaking of random) her spider web inspired shoes, which unbeknownst to me, were purchased at a Cincinnati mall… I quickly realized that despite her television appearance… Despite her renowned… Mindy is a simple attraction…
Overall, the appearance and the evening were a scintillating success and while I could close with any one of a dozen stories, I will close with the half-dozen tennis bunnies, who perfectly epitomized this evening… They entered at approximately 12:30… They wore pastel tops, white skirts, and truly the most random plaid socks I have ever seen…
Their ensembles were self-indulgent… I am certain there must have been opinions of them which were unfavorable… However, people were noticing them… And obviously, that notice is what they craved…
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