A Public Service Announcement From Generation One A.M.

Generation One A.M. conducts meetings when the vast majority of our city is asleep. We connect in casual and unimaginable ways. We consume more alcohol in four years, than our parents consumed in twenty. We make important choices via facebook, instant message, and text. We seek the spotlight in any manner imaginable. If any or all of these illustrate you, you are of this generation.

Upon my arrival for Dos de Mayo, Lodge Bar was crushed. When I say I crushed, I don’t mean merely impassable walkways. I mean the entrance line consumed half a block, there was a two deep stack in the red room, and the patio crowd could have exceeded the Garage Bar’s capacity. The menagerie of patrons, dancing, drinking, singing and talking was incomprehensible.

And whereas the bunnies were scarce at McFadden’s, Lodge Bar’s every area was a bunny clutch. You couldn’t walk ten steps and not encounter one… They were on the stage, on the dance floor, seated at tables, talking with their friends, and guzzling alcohol as if it were chocolate… If you were a single male and you couldn’t induce one into a conversation, you were either an ox or you weren’t trying…

And these were fashionable bunnies… No couch patters or outdated logos were present… Vogue could have done an entire shoot this evening… The colors were bright and vibrant… The prints were leopard, zebra, and others… The form flattery was also perfect… One could easily locate any cut and clarity they desired…

From every angle, the top railing above the dance floor, behind the stage, on the steps adjacent to the DJ booth, in the entranceway, the panorama of bunnies was exquisite… I didn’t regret my previous two hours spent at McFadden’s… I simply regretted that I didn’t have two more hours to enjoy the panorama…

What made the evening exceptional and unique was that throughout the two hours I twittered, I barely spoke with any Lodge Bar employees… Now, I know what you are thinking, I have a minimum of one employees name in every column… How could I say not speaking with them was an exceptional evening? Simple… the crushed spectacle satisfied both of our objectives… I got column material and they got paid…

What was unsatisfying was yet another varied display of bachelorette debauchery… I know I have mentioned this previously and allow me to say that as a member (and essentially founder) of Generation One A.M., I am not opposed to excess… However (and this is a huge however), excess and stupidity are entirely opposite… Excessive is consuming one more Soco and Lime than you should have and dancing on the bar… Stupid is wearing a pink plastic penis on your head and mimicking anally assaulting a stuffed bear…

And while I am on the subject, why are the penis displays necessary? Bunnies and heifers, males know what they are… They know what they will be inserting into you after you make them go through a week of flowers, guests, and vows… They don’t need, and more specifically the rest of this city doesn’t need to see you wear one on your head to show us you are getting married… That cubic zirconia on your finger makes that point…

I have said it before, I will repeat it again… I’m not demeaning weddings and if, the night before, the bride to be wants to get crazy, I am fine with that… However, avoid displays that make the rest of us want to throw up… We don’t need your crowns or your sashes or pink plastic penises….

What I could have enjoyed, and I’m assuming the crowd would have enjoyed also, was another three or four sets from Mission 19, who proliferated an already nuclear energy… I had seen Ryan and Joe perform previously and I knew what to expect… Yet, as they reveled in the crowd’s energy, as they stoked that energy, you could view them elevating their performance…

It’s not the song selection or even the vocals that epitomize Ryan and Joe… What makes them special, what sets any band apart, is their personality… As they create energy, consume shots, interact with the crowd, and sing, you sense that their persona isn’t contrived… What they are showcasing on stage isn’t an act… They are this entertaining…

My observation was confirmed within ten minutes of their final song, when Ryan I spoke off stage… Given his “99 Problems” rendition, I suggested (only half-jokingly) that he should sing “Public Service Announcement” when the band returns for Red White and Boom… Ryan (who said on stage several times that he was drunk) proceeded to almost flawlessly rattle off the song… He said afterward it’s a personal favorite, but that’s irrelevant… Anyone with that level of knowledge and skill is remarkable…

Equally remarkable was the man in the spotlight when Mission 19 was not in the spotlight, Lodge Bar Saturday Night DJ Michael… Now, some mixers would see the between sets opportunity as a moment for their own agenda… Michael didn’t and I applaud him… He kept a packed dance floor pulsating with “Single Ladies,” “Poker Face,” and “If You Seek Amy…” There are DJ’s in this city that could learn from him…

As Michael spun his closing selections and the evening concluded, predictably bizarre and yet still entertaining behavior ensued… An apparently disgruntled girl wrote on her receipt “give me better service f&ck&r.” Exactly, what did she believe she would accomplish? If someone is terrible, you leave them a minimal tip… You don’t insult them on your receipt or the next time (and there’s always a next time), they spit in your cocktail…

Then, there was Seth (and no his name isn’t actually Seth, I’m using that because of this scene in Entourage)… With one minute remaining for legal alcohol purchases, he requested a Jager Bomb… He was informed that it was cash only… And he offered one hundred dollars… I’m serious… He offered one hundred dollars for a shot… Ignore for a moment that he was intoxicated (actually plastered is the word)… When he woke up in the morning, he would have had to wrestle with an impossible question… Which was worse, the hangover or the fact that he will now be short on his bills?

With the lights brightened and the crowd exiting the premises, I could finally speak with the evening’s true stars… Mike and Nick, two of the most insightful people I encounter on a weekly basis… Jake, one of the most genuine people I have met since I started this website… Promotions Superstar, bartender, and biscuit Jen Bunny, who I think said five words to me, but yet remained adorable…

The two most notable closing conversations were with (and anyone could have seen this coming) Crown Princess Kadi and Promotions Superstar\Bartender Kattie… Princess and I could talk everyday and yet every conversation with her could last two hours… Her personality is that infectious… Kattie is delightful… Her age exceeds 21, of that I am almost positive, and yet her appearance remains completely scrumptious…

As almost a half dozen conversations concluded, the thoughts of the stars and myself were universal… After an abysmal Friday night, where rain dictated the agenda, Generation One A.M. responded with a provocative, one sentence statement… Allow me to reintroduce myself…

Two Grand Venues & Two Graceful Answers

The two questions I receive most often are why do I write about, instead of, enjoy this city’s nightlife and am I interested in seeking a relationship with any of the venue bunnies that I have previously complimented (or more than complimented)… My pair of answers are as simple as the questions themselves…

Anyone who walked or viewed Park and Vine streets pre and post the Fleetwood Mac concert should a comprehend why five nights out a week (writing or not) is a coveted existence… From the bricks to the sidewalks to the venues, the bunnies were omnipresent… There were black dress bunnies, eighteen carat bunnies, fashion savvy bunnies, off the rack bunnies, and score bunnies… There was, literally within five blocks, a hookup for every hangover…

Regrettably, some of the bunnies (or not so bunnies) had finished hooking up for life… When did April 18 become official bachelorette party day in this city? The plastic crowns, the sashes, the pink balloon penises… Seriously, whatever happened to a bride’s beauty sleep before she wears off-white? Save your e-mails… I’m not demeaning weddings… They are a wonderful institution… With that said, the level of tackiness within the five blocks was enough to induce vomit…

Enough to induce applause was the spectacular evening enjoyed by both the Frog Bear and Wild Boar and Lodge Bar… I know I’ve discussed both venues previously, but what I haven’t discussed (and will in moments) is how similar the pair are… If one skims the obvious, the comparison is easy to botch… One is located on the bricks, the other on Vine Street… One has a club interior; the other has a wood interior… One is locally owned, the other is a franchise…

As I said, the comparison is easy to botch… What one must observe is the similarities in management and staff, in performance and personality… On this evening, the comparison of those attributes was simple and spectacular, as the pair waged an epic, easily stranding the other venues, who performed well, but were not on their level…

While Lodge Bar can occasionally appear gargantuan, given the sheer volume of size that the front door to the bar patio encompasses, the venue appeared as small as ever post-Fleetwood Mac… When I arrived, every bar was occupied and swarmed, the tables were swarmed, and the dance floor… The dance was floor was over crushed… Between the bunnies, the chasers, the post concert revelers and those to drunk from the Blue Jackets loss to depart, the venue was impassible…

Thankfully, Lodge Bar’s patio (according to them, the largest in the city) was finally open… And it was crammed with people… From the Blue Jackets fans, drinking on the second level and lamenting their loss to the patrons playing corn hole (yes, you can play corn hole on the patio), the all night, country bull session vibe was evident… The patio provided the perfect escape for those who had found their bunny and now wanted a conversation or those who were looking to ditch a heifer…

Since I mentioned patios, I’ll switch the conversation to Frog Bear and Wild Boar, which (as always) set the standard for patios in this city (due respect to Lodge Bar’s size, skill is involved as well)… I could take three hours and discuss the crowd, which was also over crushed… The bunnies on the patio alone were enough to make one not enter the venue… But, the entire scene… DJ Bombay’s spectacular spinning in open air, the makeshift dance floor (which was incredible), the bunnies dancing behind the bar as they retrieved your orders… If the Blue Jackets played with this much energy for one period, they might have scored a victory…

What Frog Bear and Wild Boar’s greatest attribute was, on this evening, is what it always is; they are a place for all palettes… If you want a club, enjoy the patio… If you want sports, they were offering the UFC Fight… If you wanted live music, Fat Dog’s performance was outstanding (we will hear more from them in the very near future)… They were, seamlessly, three venues in one venue…

Potentially, the grandest and most similar attribute Frog Bear and Wild Boar and Lodge Bar share is stellar management…I could spend another three paragraphs discussing Frog Bear and Wild Boar Owner Tom Selvaggio, but what I said on twitter is sufficient… I simply get smarter every occasion we speak… He knows the band and their strengths and weaknesses… He knows how the DJ will perform… He knows the players in the nightlife game and how the game is played… He is, quite simply, an encyclopedia…

Not to be overshadowed was, and I know I’ve said this before, Lodge Bar Assistant General Manager Trevor Day, a superstar among management in this city… I’ve yet to meet in this industry, someone more willing to discuss any subject, someone who understands more the value of information… He is supportive of any venture, whether he directly benefits or not… There are other managers in this city I respect as much as him… There are few I appreciate more than him…

The final similarity is the amazing staffs that both venues possess… It’s not only the superstar drink slingers, it’s the servers and sellers and promotions… For Frog Bear and Wild Boar, it’s the royal trio (and if you don’t know who they are, you haven’t been reading), Matt, Sarah, Grace, and the half dozen other people I spoke with last night whose names escape me (I apologize)… For Lodge Bar, its Jen Bunny, Rick, Joe, Nick, Jessica, Barbara, and Alexa (who was for some reason, rocking the librarian look last night)… Each execute their role and allow their counterpart to execute theirs, insuring an enjoyable evening, no matter the chaos…

Of course, I can’t talk Lodge Bar staff and let a column slip past without mentioning the thirty-six carat perfection, also known as Crown Princess Kadi… You think ultimately, I would run out of adjectives for her, but every moment that I speak with her, her personality amazes me… From our first conversation in the afternoon, where we discussed everything that we hadn’t in three weeks and she was captivating to our last conversation of the night, when I had a terrible experience and she was the concerned friend… Kadi again showed why no one, and I mean no other person, is on her level…

Which walks this column into the answer for the second question… Crown Princess, the Lucky Charms, the royal trio, and others are only subject matter… I don’t write out of attraction to them… I simply write these lines of their pretty face…

Fiesta Bowl 2009: Lodge Bar (Volume Two)